The Sound of Silence
by iamUNSINKABLE
Summary: Eric finished initiation ranked first at Dauntless, and became the youngest full-fledged leader that Dauntless ever had. During a Factionless riot that turned violent, Eric is injured severely, and suffers lasting consequences. Cordelia, A.K.A. Lia, is a transfer from Candor, and she finds herself attracted to the young leader, though, she's never gone for the silent type, before.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so this is going to be a rather different story. But bare with me; I promise it will be worth it. Also, there is no Tris, no war, and no Divergent "witch hunt". Enjoy the spoken dialogue on Eric's part, because after this chapter, he won't be speaking for quite a while. Although, he will have thoughts; this is going to be a third person POV, so any character's thoughts, will be in italic. Also, Eric and Four are 16 for the Prologue, but as of Chapter One, they will be 19, and I'll introduce a few 16-year-old OCs. I'm very excited about this story, and I've put a lot of thought into it. I greatly appreciate faves/follows/reviews, especially reviews:) Let me know what you think.

 ** _Two years and eleven months ago..._**

Eric had changed drastically in the one month since he'd arrived at the Dauntless compound. The rigorous first stage of initiation being purely physical, he had lost any traces of previously left over baby fat, and had gained bulk in the form of muscle and brawn. He learned fairly quickly that he had a competitive streak to be rivaled. Eric now ranked in first, and this was the last day of stage one.

Tobias had changed as well, physically, and psychologically. He had learned in his short time, that while he wasn't fond of striking the other initiates, he had an impressive level of pain tolerance, and was therefore able to tire out his opponents in the ring.

"Ready to go down, _Stiff_?" Eric taunted the former Abnegation boy, as they circled each other in the ring, prowling like a lion after its prey. This was the fight that the other initiates had been waiting for; this would be a close call.

Tobias remained silent, even with the relentless taunting and jeering from Eric, and the former Erudite's lackeys. He kept his arms up in guard, protecting his face, and ready to block when attacked.

Eric lunged out at him, jabbing his right fist towards Tobias' throat, but the brown-haired boy quickly dodged the strike, ducking down, and sweeping his legs out in an attempt to knock the blonde down to the mat. Eric jumped over his legs, drawing his right arm up, and feigning an attack to Tobias' ribcage with a jab, before landing a harsh blow to the left side of the brown-haired boy's face with a cross offense.

The former Abnegation boy stumbled back a bit, before taking his stance again. The two initiates danced around the ring for a moment, each sizing the other up in an attempt to make a knowledgeable attack.

Eric lunged forward, right arm pulled out to the side to throw a hook to Tobias' stomach, but the former Abnegation quickly stepped back, as Eric's fist sliced through the air. Tobias countered with a spinning back fist, that landed heavily on Eric's chest, sending him to the ground on his back.

Tobias took advantage of the opportunity to attempt to take the mount, but Eric took the guard, trapping the brown-haired boy with his legs wrapped around his waist, using the position on his back to his advantage. Eric managed to get a jab to Tobias throat, distracting the smaller boy, and momentarily stealing his breath. The former Erudite slid down Tobias body, gaining side control, as he locked his legs over Tobias' hips, and used his forearms to restrain his head, as he lay perpendiculary across his opponent.

"Aw, come on, _Stiff_ , fight back!" Eric snarled, panting heavily, as Tobias desperately tried to free himself from the locked position.

Eric used his left forearm to press into Tobias' throat, giving him free use of his right arm to pull himself up on top of the former Abnegation, to take the mount. Eric drove his hips forward to maintain the pressure, to prevent Tobias from using his legs to push off the mat, and used his feet to put in the hooks under the brown-haired boy's knees.

"Damn, Stiff, you suck at this," Eric grins down at his opponent before smirking, wickedly, and unleashing a full out ground-and-pound, in a flurry of punches, and elbows. Tobias stills beneath him, and Eric waits for Amar to make the call, before ceasing the blows to the smaller boy. "He's out!" Eric had won his final fight, thus securing his first rank, for now.

"Awe, poor Toby!" Eric jeered, as Tobias' consciousness slowly returned to him. "You gonna cry? Do you need a hug?" Eric and his friends laughed, as he continued to mock the brown-haired boy by holding his arms out.

Tobias refused to let them see the effect that their words had on him, however, and fixed them with a blank stare, instead, blinking slowly.

Eric laughed harder at the expression, and Tobias flinched at the cold sound. "Look, I knocked him stupid! He's fucking retarded!"

Eric turned back to his friends, having had enough poking fun at the Stiff, for now.

 ** _Two weeks later..._**

Tobias awoke from the simulation, barely breaking a sweat. He had been practicing every spare moment he had, to overcome his four fears. Now he had done it, and he had done it in less than six minutes. He grinned as Eric entered the fear landscape room; Eric had nine fears. Tobias didn't think the prick could finish in less than 20 minutes.

"Happy about something, Stiff?" Eric snarled, as he purposely slammed his shoulder into Tobias as he walked past him.

The former Erudite boy braced himself as he faced his first fear; the needle that injected the serum into his skin. Eric wasn't afraid of needles, persay, but he carried a strong dislike of serums, and medicine, in general.

His second fear, was the fear of failure.

 _"Three hours! Ha!" Eric bowed his head, ashamed that it had taken so long to complete his final test, as Amar laughed at him, along with the rest of the initiates._

 _"Can't you do anything right?" Lauryn fixed her gaze with an incredulous expression, as she crossed her arms over her chest, and shook her head._

 _"Yeah,_ Eric _," Tobias jeered, from behind him. "Can't you do anything right?"_

'Come on, Eric, breathe, _' the former Erudite, chanted, like a mantra, as his heart rate gradually slowed to a normal pace._

His third fear; spiders.

 _Eric held his breath, and stood very still, as the avacado-sized arachnids scittered over his feet. Some of the creepy insects began to crawl up the side of his pants, and Eric had a difficult time remaining still as the giant spiders crawled up his body, nearing his face. He closed his eyes, and counted to three, and the spiders were gone._

Eric's fourth and fifth fears were death, and the dark.

 _Cool metal pushed against his temple, briefly, before the trigger was pulled. The shot had ended his life, and plunged him into darkness._

 _Eric could hear the whispers all around him, coming from every direction at once. He dropped to his knees, and attempted to crawl, searching for a way out through the pitch black, as he forced his breathing to even out._

Eric's sixth fear, was a fear of falling; not so very different from Tobias' fear of heights.

 _The top-ranked initiate stood atop a tall building, one that towered, even past the cloud cover over the city. He slipped, and lost his footing, and fell backwards over the roof, the ground approaching at an alarming rate._ "I won't die. If I just willingly let myself hit the ground, this will end _," Eric told himself, forcing his body to relax, and not tense up, as he crashed into the pavement below._

His seventh fear, was the fear of being bound.

"What the hell? _" Eric exclaimed, looking down at his tied wrists and ankles. He frantically began pulling against the bindings, but it only increased the tight hold of the cords. Eric immediately stopped his struggle, and closed his eyes._

A pack of large, vicious Boerboels tearing the flesh from his body, piece by piece, was his eighth fear.

"Ah, shit!" _Eric shouted, as he continued to sprint across the large, grassy field, the blood thirsty dogs gaining ground on him._ "Fuck!"

 _One of the large beasts grabbed onto the back of his right ankle, shaking it's head viciously, causing Eric to fall, as the attacking dog ripped at his flesh. The other ferocious animals descended on him quickly, chomping onto his shoulder, neck, and arms._

 _Eric continued to fight against the pack of wild animals, covering his head as best as he could, attempting to calm himself, while he bled out._

Being burried alive and suffocating, was his ninth, and final, fear.

 _The former Erudite opened his eyes to darkness, and the smell of earth. He blinked rapidly, willing the darkness to recede, but to no avail._

"Hello?" _he cried out, as he felt out his surroundings with his hands; a simple, pine box. "Somebody get me out of here!" Eric began to kick against the box with both of his feet, eventually busting through the wood, only for large amounts of black dirt to rain down on top of him._

 _He pushed through the surface, above ground at last. He pulled himself out of what was supposed to be his grave, and he sat gasping for air, on the ground._

He awoke from the simulation, trembling, sweat running down his neck, and he fought rigorously against the violent wave of nausea that threatened to cause him to lose his breakfast.

It had taken him thirteen minutes to complete his simulation.

Amar, his trainer, approached him to remove the electrode from his temple.

"That's some pretty terrifying fears you've got there, Eric. Congratulations, you're officially a member of Dauntless."

 ** _Later that afternoon..._**

"Initiates! Stand!"

Eric hurried to comply, along with the rest of the initiates, as Max's loud voice boomed through the Pit. The dark-skinned man scanned the faces of each, and every, one of the pack.

"You have all shown your might, and your courage, and we welcome you, to Dauntless!"

The Pit exploded into cheers, and roars of excitement, the Dauntless jostling the newest members, good-naturedly. Max raised his hand, signaling for quiet.

"We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices. We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace," Max pauses, as he makes eye contact with each of the new members, his gaze locking with Tobias' honey-brown orbs.

"We believe that justice is more important than peace. We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us. We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity."

The dark-skinned leader shifts his gaze to the rest of the initiates, as a whole; the sincerity with which he believed in these words was evident in his baratone voice.

"We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. We believe, not just in bold words, but in bold deeds to match them. We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction, because we believe in action. We do not believe in living comfortable lives. We do not believe that silence is useful."

The leader continues to raise his voice, as cheering and shouts of agreement begin to resound through the Pit at his words.

"We do not believe in good manners! We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands! We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence! We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by! And we most certainly do not believe that any other virture is more important than bravery!"

Max paused briefly, letting the excitement die down to a low rumble.

"We expect you to be fearless; undaunted, and brave. Courageously resolute, especially in the face of danger or difficulty; not discouraged. New members of Dauntless... do us proud!" Max takes his exit, as the Pit erupts with cheering, and shouting, once more.

Amar, the transfer instructor, and Ellie, the Dauntless-born instructor climb onto a table in the middle of the Pit. The light shining through the windows above, causing a shine to glint off of their hair, while at the same time, the protruding cement blocks cause shadows to fall over multiple areas of their bodies, giving them a dark, and menacing appearance.

Eric shifts back and forth, uncomfortably, awaiting the final ranking. "Come on, come on, come on..." he urges, in anticipation. Tobias eyes him, with his arms folded, looking stoically calm. When the rankings are finally revealed, all that matters to Tobias is that he made it; he is Dauntless.

Eric ranked first, and Tobias came in second; that's all that mattered to Eric. The former Erudite had earned quite a reputation of brutality, and perfection. He ranked first; that was all that mattered.

 ** _One year later..._**

"Eric!" The blonde leader whipped around where he stood, scanning the smoke-filled street. "Eric, help me!" Eric snapped his head up, to see Lauryn hanging from rotting scaffolding, three stories above the ground, attached to the side of the burning building. Eric dashed to the side wall, directly under Lauryn, dodging the bullets pelted at them by the rioting Factionless rebels.

"Fuck! I'm coming Lauryn, hold on!" Eric cursed under his breath as an explosion nearly knocked him off his feet. He lithely began to climb up the side of the building, ignoring the searing heat from the flames inside whenever he passed a window.

"Eric! What the hell are you doing, idiot?! It's too late! You'll never make it!" Four shouted from below, releasing a wave of bullets, returning fire against the Factionless as he took cover behind the door of an old car that had been abandoned before the war.

"Hang on, Lauryn! I'm almost there!" Eric hollers up to her, clinging to a windowsill as another explosion shakes the building, pieces of the burning scaffolding falling to the ground below, and throwing burning embers raining down on Eric. Lauryn screams as the metal bar she hangs from drops lower, supported only by three cracked, and rotting pieces of wood.

The former Erudite brushes the hot coals off quickly, resuming his ascent to scale the side of the building. "Hold on, I got you!" Eric pushes off the wall with his left leg, throwing his body to the windowsill, just above where Lauryn struggles to keep her grip on the hot, metal bar.

"Eric! I can't hang on much longer, it's burning me!" she screams in terror, clinging desperately to the piece of scrap metal for as long as she can.

"Dauntless don't give up, Lauryn! Don't you fucking dare let go!" Eric shouts at her, gracefully hanging his body backwards from the windowsill by hooking his booted feet on the inside. He reaches his arms out to her, his fingertips mere inches away from being able to touch the bar that Lauryn so desperately clings to.

"Take my hands, Lauryn! Now!" the Dauntless leader orders, and Lauryn takes a deep, steadying breath to prepare herself for what she will have to do. She calmly counts to three in her head, before throwing herself up just as the scaffolding collapses completely.

Eric grabs her hands in the nick of time, pulling them both up using only his leg muscles, and pulling Lauryn in through the window.

The building is in flames, and the weak structure begins to sway, and creak from the damage.

"Go, go, go!" Eric screams, shoving the young instructor towards the stairs, following right at her heels. "Stop!" The blonde-haired leader grabs Lauryn by the collar, just as a large portion of roof collapses in their path. "I'll throw you!" Eric shouts, holding his hands out, clasped together over his knee, waiting for Lauryn.

"No!" the young woman cries, in terror. "No! What about you?!"

Eric rolls his eyes at the red-headed instructor, leaning down, and grabbing around her legs, before tossing her, with as much strength as he can muster, over the burning debris blocking their path. Lauryn landed on her feet, with the grace of a cat, and turned to look at her leader in fear. "Go!" Eric screams, turning to run back up the stairs. Dodging more falling debris, and climbing out the window once more, as he attempts to scale down the side of the building.

Going down is harder than going up.

"Eric!" Four shouts from his position below, when he sees what the young leader is doing. Eric is moving swiftly down the side of the building, but he is still almost two stories above the semi-safety of the ground. An explosion rattles the building once again, and Eric loses his grip as the force of the blast pushes him away from the exterior wall.

Eric falls through the air, facing one of his worst fears in one terrifying moment.

Within seconds, the blonde-headed leader crashes onto the top of the old car that Four was using as a cover. "Shit, Eric!" Four rushes to pull the young leader off the car, and to the ground, sheltering them both from the storm of bullets still flying through the air. Four quickly inspects the blonde-haired man for injuries, cursing at the amount of blood pouring from the unconscious leader's nasty head wound. Four quickly pulls his radio from his belt, ducking as a bullet shatters the windshield of the car.

"D.C., D.C., this is Four! Do you copy!" Four screams into the handheld radio, in a panic.

"Four, this is D.C., go ahead, over."

"D.C., Eric is down! I repeat, we have a leader down! Apparent head trauma, unconscious, and unresponsive! We need a recon team, and backup, a.s.a.p., over!"

"Recon team deployed, stand by for extraction, over."

 ** _One week and three days later..._**

BEEP... BEEP... BEEP... BEEP... BEEP...

Eric awakens with a throbbing headache, blinking his eyes as he tries to focus on his surroundings, he gingerly brings a hand to feel the bandage on his head.

"Eric?... Hey, Eric's awake!" Eric groans as Lauryn screams down the hall, making his tender head pound even more. The red-headed girl practically sprints over to his bedside, looking at him expectantly, as Four, Max, and Amar hurriedly enter the small, dimly lit room.

"Damn, Eric! We didn't know if you were gonna wake up!" Amar exclaims, relief evident in his voice. "It's nice to know you aren't dead." Eric rolls his eyes at his former instructor, wincing at the pain in his eyes from performing the subtle, sarcastic gesture.

"You've been in a coma for a week and a half, get plenty of sleep?" Lauryn jokes, playfully, as the young leader glares at her in annoyance, and she giggles. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I- I- I-..." Eric clears his throat, forcing a cough, before attempting to speak again. "I- I- I f- f- f..."

The blonde-haired leader blinks his eyes rapidly in confusion, turning his worried gaze towards Max, who shares an equally worried expression.

"M- m- m- Max? W- w- w- w- w- w-." Eric bites his tongue, quickly clamping a hand over his mouth. He doesn't understand why he can't speak correctly.

"F- f- f- fuck!" Eric screams in frustration, pounding his fists into the mattress in his anger.

"Four," Max and the former Abnegation share a wary gaze, and Four nods, hurrying off at the Dauntless leader's unspoken request for a doctor.

"I don't understand?" Lauryn says, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion, as she looks from Max to Eric. "What's going on?"

"F- f- f- fuck if I kn- kn- know!" Eric screams, fighting back against the tears pricking behind his eyes. "M- M- Max, w- wh- what's w- wrong with m- m- me?"


	2. Chapter One - Lia

**Author's Note:**

So, just a reminder, Eric and Four are now 19 years old. Eric will NOT be speaking for quite some time, but, as I've said previously, he will have thoughts in italics. And I wanted to say thank you to Sasha and Vex for the reviews:) I love reviews! So, yeah, fave/follow/review, but at least review and let me know what you think:)

 ** _One year, ten months and four days later..._**

"Cordelia! Hurry up, already! We're going to be late!"

"Coming Mother!"

Cordelia turned sixteen only two days ago, barely in time for the Aptitude test. The dark-haired Candor slams her bedroom door behind her, before zooming down the stairs. She will miss this place, and her family. Her Aptitude test resulted in Dauntless, and she made her parents aware of the fact that she would be choosing the warrior faction at the ceremony, today. This came as no surprise to Cordelia's parents.

"Cord-! Finally, let's go!" Cordelia's mother ushers her husband and daughter through the door, before they walk briskly towards the elevators.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOX

Eric watches his movements carefully in the bathroom mirror, gliding the razor over the stubble which has grown over the past couple of days. He finishes up, and pats his face with a soft, grey towel, rechecking his appearance in the glass one last time, before heading into his kitchenette and starting a pot of coffee. As the young leader spoons the dark grounds into a filter, there is a knock on his door.

Eric sighs, setting the scoop, and the filter, back on the counter before moving to open the door, stepping back to allow the brown-haired intelligence officer entry into his apartment.

He sits on a high stool at the breakfast bar, grabbing a small pad of yellow paper, and a green ink pen.

"The initiates will be arriving within the hour," Four begins, taking the only other stool, and leaning over on his elbow propped up on the counter. Eric continues to stare at him, just listening.

"Still not gonna give the welcome speech today?" the former Abnegation inquires, knowing the answer before he asked. Eric hasn't spoken a word since the doctor explained that the wound the former Erudite received to his head, had damaged the superior longitudinal fasciculus in the left hemosphere of his brain, rendering Eric with a permanent stutter.

The blue-eyed man scratched the pen across the surface of the pad, ripping off the used piece of paper, and sliding it to Four. The brown-haired man snatched the paper up, his honey-brown orbs scanning the word written there: Duh.

Four sighed, running his fingers through his mussy, brown locks, before standing and nodding towards the door.

"Let's get to the roof, then. I guess I got, again," Four said, as he walked out the door, Eric following, silently, behind him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"Dauntless!"

The middle section of the Hub erupted into cheers, as the Candor girl made her way over to sit with her new faction, grinning at the warm welcome.

An older-looking member stood, offering her his seat, and she took it offering a smile in gratitude, as he turned to leave and patted her on the shoulder.

Cordelia didn't have the opportunity to sit there long, however, as her's was the next to last name on the list. "Come on!" a girl to right grabbed her arm, hauling her out of the seat, and pulling the dark-haired girl along, until she had made sure that she would keep up.

Cordelia wasn't a runner; Candor wasn't a very active faction. But the amber-eyed girl decided that she liked running, as they sprinted down the steps, and out the door. The Dauntless whooped and hollered the whole way, laughing and racing to the elevated train tracks. The blue-haired girl who had pulled Cordelia from her seat, pushed her towards the beam in front of her, as she started to climb, the Candor girl following right behind her.

They reached the top, and the Dauntless-born girl reached down to help pull the transfer up onto the platform, just as the train made an appearance, as it sped down the tracks towards them. "Come on, we have to jump!" the blue-haired girl exclaimed, as she began to run down the length of the platform.

The train whizzed by, sweeping Cordelia's hair in her face, as she ran alongside the massive, metal machine. She watched as the blue-haired girl leaped off the platform, grabbing a bar on the outside of the door, and pulled herself in to the car.

Cordelia pushed herself to move her legs faster, her lungs burning, as she followed suit and jumped, grabbing the handle, and swinging her body inside. She stumbled forward a bit, but caught herself before she fell, as a grin lit up her face. She had just jumped on a moving train.

The dark-haired girl exhaled deeply, blowing a piece of hair out of her mouth, and sat down against the metal interior as she came down from her adrenaline high. The blue-haired girl slid down beside her, holding out her hand.

Cordelia took the offered hand, and shook it firmly. "Cordelia," she said, still breathing heavily. The blue-haired girl smiled, flashing two rows of blinding, white teeth.

"I'm Sassy," she says, leaning back against the wall, as she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, followed by a small book of matches. She placed one of the cigarettes between her lips, striking a match and holding it to the end of the small roll of tobacco, inhaling as she did so, causing the end to glow as the dried, cut leaves began to burn.

"Is that your real name?" Cordelia asks, raising an eyebrow. She'd never heard a name like that before, though, the word had been used to describe her character several times back at Candor.

"Yeah," the blue-haired girl answers her, with a smirk, before punching Cordelia lightly in the shoulder. Both of the girls laugh, and Cordelia is pleased that she has already made a friend.

"Everybody up!" Cordelia turns her head towards the mocha-skinned woman who spoke, as all of the other initiates stand to their feet, crowding by the doors.

Sassy grabs her hand, grinning from ear to ear, as the teenagers begin jumping out of the train. Cordelia's eyes go wide, with shock, when she realizes that they are leaping onto a roof that is at least seven stories from the ground. "Are they trying to kill us?" she asks the blue-haired girl, incredulously.

The other girl just rolls her eyes, and giggles, as she pulls the amber-eyed girl back away from the door. "Just tuck you legs in before you land, and roll. Jump on three, okay?"

Cordelia swallows nervously, but she nods her head in agreement, as Sassy begins the countdown. "...2...3! Jump!" They run to edge of the car, together, jumping at the last second, before they are flying through the air, Cordelia holding back a scream. She does as her new friend instructed, and tucks her legs underneath herself, before rolling across the roof.

She comes to a stop, sprawled out on her back, and laughs. "I know, right?" Sassy relates, bending down to help up the Candor girl.

"Initiates! Listen up!" The girls turn to find a slender, but muscular, man with brown hair, and honey-brown eyes, standing on the opposite side of the roof. The initiates crowd around him, Sassy and Cordelia pushing their way to the front, giggling.

Eric glares at the giggling girls, and when they notice his harsh expression, their smiles disappear, giving way to intimidated demeanors. Eric nods in their direction, satisfied with their compliance, as he returns his features to a blank expression as he scans the initiates.

Cordelia swallows thickly, fear bubbling in her stomach, as she quickly returns her attention to the brown-haired man, Sassy following suit.

"My name's Four; don't ask. Today you have chosen Dauntless as your permanent place of residence. You have passed the first test by not dying between the Hub and the roof that you now stand on," Four explains, clasping his hands together behind his back, as he paces in front of the initiates. "But, you aren't done, yet. You still have to pass two stages of training, and a final test, before you can become a full-fledged member of Dauntless. Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, though, there's another small test," Four smiles, ceasing his pacing, as he gestures behind him.

"What, you want us to jump?" a boy from Amity inquires, in shock. The brown-haired man, smirks, mischieviously.

"Yep," he replies, moving to the side to stand by the young Dauntless leader. "And somebody's gotta go first. Who's it gonna be?"

A silence falls over the initiates at this revelation, no one among them fond of the idea.

"Is there water at the bottom, or something?" Cordelia asks, raising her hand a bit, and stepping forward. Surely, they wouldn't send all of their initiates to their deaths by having them commit suicide.

The dark-haired girl watches as Four and the blonde-haired man beside him exchange a glance. "I guess you'll find out, huh?" he replies, vaguely, as Cordelia steps forward determinedly. She peaks over the edge, to see a large hole between the roof that the initiates occupy, and the building across from it. It's so dark, she can't tell if there is anything at the bottom or not, but she knows there must be.

She steps up onto the ledge, turning her head back around to wave at Sassy, and then she throws herself off of the roof. The wind pulls up from under Cordelia, as her body slices through the air, before she lands on something soft, and bounces up in the air a few times.

It was a net.

The Candor girl laughs to herself, as she moves to climb down before another initiate has the opportunity to land on top of her, and hands reach up to help her to the ground.

"Thank you," she tells the red-headed woman, with a smile. "What's your name?"

The red-headed woman laughs a bit. "Usually, I ask you that question, first. My name is Lauryn, I train the Dauntless-born initiates," she states, with a grin, placing her hands on her hips. "So, you can change your name if you want, but I need to tell these idiots something," she says, gesturing to a group of Dauntless standing around.

Cordelia has to think about that for a moment, but it doesn't take her very long to decide.

"My name's Lia," the amber-eyed girl declares, enjoying the way the shortened name feels rolling off her tongue, lightly. Lauryn turns around to address the Dauntless standing around the dimly lit room.

"First jumper, Lia!" she hollers, as the mob of black-clad persons begins cheering her name, patting her on the back as she moves to stand with them. It isn't long before Sassy joins her, along with all but one of the rest of the initiates.

Lauryn introduces herself to everyone else, explaining that she will be training the Dauntless-born, and that the transfer's instructors will be joining them, shortly. No sooner had the words left the red-headed woman's mouth, before another black-clad body fell from above, landing silently in the net. The young, blonde leader hopped over the side, needing no help, and moved to stand beside Lauryn, icy-blue eyes looking over his transfers.

"What's your name, then?" Lia asks, looking to the blonde-haired man expectantly. He shares her gaze for a moment, before exaggeratingly rolling his head to the side, raising an eyebrow at Lauryn.

"This is Eric, he's one of your leaders," the red-head explains, as the rest of the transfers share confused looks. Lia found the lack of response to be odd; she wondered what his problem was.

"Can't you speak?" Lia asks, scoffing, and crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you think you're better than a bunch of transfers, so you can't even answer our questions? Aren't you supposed to be training us?"

Eric began to breathe heavily through his nose, as he glared daggers at the Candor girl. He crossed the distance separating them, swiftly, never breaking eye contact, and entered her personal space, stopping only inches in front of her. He continued to glare down at the girl, as he raised two of his fingers, first pointing to his eyes, then pointing to Lia, before backing up, slowly.

 _"Watch it, Candor! I got my eyes on you..."_

Lia gulped nervously, she should learn to hold her tongue; she isn't at Candor, anymore. Four entered the room then, and Lia gratefully moved her gaze to the man with the honey-brown orbs.

"Alright, transfers! Follow me, and keep up!" Four ordered, as he turned and began to jog through the door. The transfers complied quickly, and followed him through the corridors.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

 _"Who does she think she is, talking to me, like that?! What the hell did I do to her? Fucking Candor bitch..."_

"Don't sweat it, Eric," Lauryn directs her words, gently, at the youngest Dauntless leader, who is still fuming. He clenches, and unclenches his fists, several times, as he attempts to calm himself down, fighting against the urge to hit something. "They'll figure out you don't talk to anyone, soon enough."

Eric's gaze softens considerably as he meets the red-head's eyes, slightly surprised at the hurt evident in her voice. He raises a pierced eyebrow, awaiting an elaboration. She smiles at him softly, but he can still see the pain in her green eyes.

"Ya' know, sometimes I wish you'd have just let me die," Lauryn admits, sorrowfully, brushing a strand of red hair behind her ear.

Eric swallows thickly, a pained grimace plastered on his face, as he shakes his head slowly.

 _"Don't say shit like that, Lauryn..."_

"Nobody would judge you, ya' know," the red-headed woman informs him, quietly. "Especially if you let me tell everyone about how you saved my life."

Eric stares into her eyes intensely, squinting a bit, and blinking rapidly, as his eyes begin to twitch. Lauryn notices when his lips part slightly, raising hope inside of her, that maybe he'll say something. Eric shut his mouth abruptly, moving his gaze to the floor, as he let out a deep sigh. He shook his head, dejectedly, as he spun around and walked away.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Lia changed into her new dark-colored clothing, not the least bit uncomfortable about the fact that there were males present. Her sixteen years in Candor apparently helped to prepare her, the way they lay everything out in the open, never hiding anything. Once she had changed, she sat on the edge of her cot, waiting for the others to finish up.

A few of the transfers were just lacing up their new, black combat boots when Four and Eric appeared in the doorway.

"Everybody in the cafeteria in two minutes, unless you want all the food to be gone when you get there," Four announces, before he and Eric turn to head that way, the majority of the initiates following behind them, instantly.

They jog into the caffeteria, briskly, before spreading out to different tables. Lia sat at a table with the Amity boy who spoke on the roof earlier, and two transfers from Erudite. She leaned over the table, grabbing a roll and a piece of baked chicken, placing the food on her plate. "I'm Lia," she says, nudging the Amity boy seated next to her, as she takes a bite of the roll.

"I'm Marc," he replies, grinning goofily, with a mouth full of chicken. Lia laughs at him, and he joins her, spewing a bit of chewed up poultry out of his mouth in the process.

"Ew!" Lia squeaks, before laughing at the silly Amity boy. "Marc, you're so weird!" Marc took a sip of water from his glass, giggling a bit, and blushing.

"So, you're from Amity, huh? I thought Amity opposed violence," Lia stated, following her question with another bite of her roll. Marc shrugged his shoulders, tossing his head to move the lengthy, ginger locks out of his eyes. "I never really fit in there," he explains, simply, chewing his food thoughtfully.

"So, why'd a Candor like yourself join the ranks, huh?" Marc inquired, scooting forward a bit on the bench he was seated on. Lia didn't hesitate to answer.

"I was bored," she remarks, swallowing the food in her mouth. "I figured I'd either join Dauntless or Erudite, and when I got Dauntless on my test, I made up my mind."

"You seem like you must've fit in really well, at Candor," the freckled boy suggests with a grin. Lia elbows Marc in the side, before grinning, as well, when the former Amity boy feigns injury.

Everyone at the table looks up when Four places both his hands, roughly, at the end of the table, right where Lia is sitting. He glares down at her, for a moment, before his expression softens a bit.

"Lia?" he says, calmly, his voice even. "I heard about what happened, at the net. I would not suggest doing that, again." Four keeps his voice low, but firm, willing the Candor girl to obey.

"Why? That guy is so full of himself, he can't be bothered to speak to an initiate! As a matter of fact, he made a point to specifically _not_ speak to me," Lia asserts, crossing her arms over her chest, as she holds the other man's gaze.

Four clenches his jaw, his nostrils flaring, as he leans forward, menacingly. "Keep your mouth shut about things you don't understand, _initiate_ ," he responded, his voice low, and dark, before he stood up straight, and walked away.

Lia watched as Four retreated, before turning back around and sharing a confused look with Marc. "Well, that was odd," she stated, quietly, before giving her food attention, once more.


	3. Chapter Two - Put in Her Place

**Author's Note:**

I want to thank murmelinchen, beautiful violence, interdictum in aeternum, mrsbishop21, skdj 10, Genie, Sasha, lostqueen4, and mona-rose for the reviews:) And yes, skdj 10, I do actually watch a "shit load" of MMA, though, I have also fought, before, when I was a teenager:) I won my first fight, but had to tap out on my next two, so I quit, lol. And, as far as when Eric will talk... you'll see:) But thank you so much to everyone reading this, and don't forget to fave/follow/review:)

"For a farmer, you are really weak." Marc sighs in exasperation, while Lia chuckles at the browned-haired instuctor's comment. She continues to strike out at the heavy bag, sweat dripping down her milky-white skin.

The dark-haired girl breathes out, forcefully, with every hit. She was so consumed in her punches, that she didn't notice when the blonde leader walked up behind her, scrutinizing her movements.

Lia jumped, startled, when she felt warm hands grip her hips suddenly. She turned her head up to discover that her face was exceptionally close to the intimidating instructor's chin. Eric gazed down at her with cold eyes, before nodding towards where his hands were. He silently twisted her hips, and pressed a hand to her stomach, applying a slight pressure. Lia gulped as he backed away and went to stand in the shadows, just watching. Watching the initiates. Watching her.

She was surprised that, even though he hadn't said a word to her, she somehow understood what he wanted her to do. She applied the advice, throwing more of her weight into the punches, as a result, making them much more efficient.

Throughout the rest of that afternoon, Lia found herself sneaking glances at the blue-eyed leader. He was intimidating. He was so silent, it was almost creepy. It didn't take her long to figure out that he didn't speak to Four, or anyone else, either. What she couldn't understand, was why. And it was driving her curious mind insane.

"Alright, that's it for today," Four announced, gathering everyone together near the elevated ring in the middle of the training room. "Get cleaned up, and get to the cafeteria." The brown-haired instructor didn't say anything else to the initiates, before he walked off to the side and whispered to the young leader.

Lia hesitated to leave with the rest of the initiates, and instead, stared at the two instructors. She just couldn't help it; she was too curious.

She couldn't make out what Four said to Eric, but she noticed that Eric answered him, by pulling a pad and pen out of his back pocket. He wrote something on the paper and handed it to the brown-eyed instructor. She became even more confused, and curious, when Four laughed at whatever the blonde had written on it.

She didn't realize she had giggled, until both of the men turned their eyes on her. Eric glared at her, and she shrunk under his cold gaze, as she felt her face begin to heat up.

Lia began to back up, as the silent man strode towards her, and felt her knees trembling. She was scared of this young leader.

He didn't utter a word, as per usual, but he continued to glare at her as he raised an arm and pointed towards the exit, nodding his head in that direction.

Cordelia swallowed thickly, as he backed away from her, never breaking eye contact. She escaped quickly, jogging her way through the dark, damp corridors back to the dorm room.

When she went to gather clean clothes for after she got out of the shower, she suddenly realized that she had left her jacket back in the training room. There was no way on earth she was about to go back for it.

 _"I'll just get it tomorrow,"_ she thought, as she gathered the small bundle of clothing, and her towel.

There were still a few initiates in the showers, but it didn't bother her.

"Shit, Lia!" Marc exclaimed, when Lia turned on the spray next to him, and he hurried to cover himself with his hands. Lia smirked at him, as she stripped down, before stepping under the hot water, relishing in the way that the warm liquid soothed her aching muscles.

"Don't be so shy, Marc," she said with a giggle, as she began to massage shampoo into her long, silky hair. "You don't see me being self-conscious, do you?"

The ginger-haired Amity boy hesitantly removed his hands, turning his back to the former Candor girl, and continued to wash himself.

"I'm just not used to... this," he said, glancing around the co-ed showers.

"You better get used to it, then," Lia replied, as she lathered her body with soap. "We're gonna be sharing a lot together." Marc turned his head slightly, to see the dark-haired girl gesturing towards the toilets, where one of the initiates sat.

"Ew," he said, quietly, causing Lia to laugh, loudly. They finished up quickly, drying off and pulling on their clothes, before heading down to the dining hall for dinner.

"Lia!"

The Candor girl barely had time to register who had shouted her name, before there was a mess of blue hair in her face.

"Sassy?" she said, as the Dauntless-born girl hugged her waist tightly. "I can't breathe!"

The blue-haired girl released her, before grabbing her hand, and pulling her along to a table with more Dauntless-borns. Marc followed, awkwardly.

"You guys sit with us!" she ordered, sliding onto the bench, as Lia and the Amity boy complied. "So, this is Lia," Sassy began, placing a hand on the dark-haired girl's shoulder. "And, this is...?"

"Marc," the Amity boy replied, smiling at the bubbly Dauntless-born girl. Sassy grinned widely, before introducing herself to Marc, and then introducing the rest of the Dauntless-born at her table.

"This is Uriah, he's crazy! And, the two idiots sucking face are Violet, and Todd," the blue-haired girl pointed to a girl with dark, purple hair and a deep tan, and a boy with striking, green hair, and several facial piercings. Lia could tell that Marc felt uncomfortable sitting so close to the passionately kissing lovebirds.

"I thought Amity was all about 'free love', and all that?" the Candor girl inquired of the ginger boy. She could see the blush creep over his face, and he looked down, before filling his plate with beans, sliced bread, and some questionable meat in gravy.

They chatted all through dinner, and Lia noticed how Marc kept stealing glances at Sassy, and vice versa. She didn't say anything, although, she really wanted to.

"Hey!" Sassy exclaimed, suddenly, causing Lia to jump a bit. "Hey that's my favorite song! Turn it up!" The blue-haired girl screamed the last part, and to Lia's surprise, the music got loud; really loud.

 _ **I'm walking down the line**_  
 _ **That divides me somewhere in my mind**_  
 _ **On the border line**_  
 _ **Of the edge and where I walk alone**_

 _ **Read between the lines**_  
 _ **Of what's fucked up and everything's alright**_  
 _ **Check my vital signs**_  
 _ **To know I'm still alive and I walk alone**_

 _ **I walk alone**_  
 _ **I walk alone**_  
 _ **I walk alone**_  
 _ **I walk a...**_

 _ **My shadow's the only one that walks beside me**_  
 _ **My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating**_  
 _ **Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me**_  
 _ **'Til then I walk alone****_

"Well, that's fucking depressing," Lia states, simply, pulling off a piece of bread and popping it in her mouth. Sassy laughs, as well as Marc, Violet, Todd and Uriah.

"Yeah, I know right?" Uriah says, climbing over the table to sit between Marc and Cordelia. He knocks over a few glasses, and plates in the process.

"Uri!" cries Violet, swatting at him with her hand, but he just shoots her a wicked grin.

"So," Uriah begins, once he's settled comforably between the two transfers. "How is the training going?" Lia smiles at how easy going the Dauntless-born boy is. She wipes the corner of her mouth with a napkin before answering him.

"It's okay, just..." Lia trails off, with a frown. She doesn't think she'll have a problem with the actual training; just, maybe the trainer. The blonde one. The silent one. The creepy one.

"Just, what?" Sassy asks, concern in her voice, and she begins to rub the dark-haired girl's back. Lia chuckles a bit, shrugging the hand off and elbowing the blue-haired girl.

"Just, Eric," she sighs, leaning forward, and resting her chin in the palm of her hand. A few eyebrows go up, and a few heads tilt to the side, at her answer.

"What about Eric?" Todd inquires, as the entire table seems to be intently staring at her now. Lia rolls her eyes, and sighs again. She doesn't really know the answer to that question. It just is.

"I don't know," she starts, softly, rubbing her face. "He doesn't say anything to me, but I constantly feel intimidated by him. And like, today, it was really odd."

"How so?" Marc pipes up, and Lia turns to look at him, giving him a small smile.

"I kinda got curious, so I stayed behind when you were leaving out, and I was watching Four and Eric. Four said something to Eric, and then Eric wrote something on a piece of paper, and then Four laughed. And I laughed, and Eric..."

Lia sighed heavily, her shoulders drooping. "It's stupid. I felt like I was a kid caught eavesdropping. I thought I was in trouble. He just walked up to me and pointed at the damn door! What the hell is that about? I mean, why doesn't he say anything? Is he mute?"

Sassy, Violet and Todd exchange nervous glances, before pointing in the direction directly behind Lia.

"Oh my god," Cordelia whispers, feeling her face heat up, as she slowly turned around on the bench. _"How does he keep doing that?"_ she thought, seeing Eric standing over her.

The blue-eyed leader wore a blank expression, almost like a mask. He held out a dark piece of fabric, and Lia hesitated, only momentarily, before she grabbed it. He had returned her jacket to her.

"Um... Thank you?" she said, quietly. Eric nodded, and turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm to stop him. He slowly turned back around, staring down at her. He raised an eyebrow at her in question.

"Are you mute?" Lia asks, tilting her head to the side, unable to help herself. She hears a few gasps from the people at her table, but, luckily most of the other people in the cafeteria are too caught up in their own conversations to notice the scene unfolding with the Candor transfer and the young leader.

Something unreadable flashes across his eyes, but it is gone quickly. He slowly shakes his head, and Lia sighs in frustration. "Well, why the fuck don't you talk then? It's kind of creepy the way you just sneak up on people, too. Is that why you don't talk? You just like to be creepy? Why are-? Ow!"

 _"I really hope I don't end up murdering this stupid Candor bitch... What's with all the fucking questions?"_

Lia placed her cool hand to her stinging cheek, her eyes wide with shock.

"You slapped me!" she accuses, growing angry, as a few tears spill from her eyes. She was embarrassed, and that really did hurt. She wouldn't be surprised if there was a handprint on her cheek tomorrow.

 _"Well, duh, Ms. Obvious."_

Eric shrugged, smirking, before he took his leave. He really was getting sick and tired of the Candor girl's constant questioning.

 _"Almost would think she's from Erudite, with all the damn questions."_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Eric walked briskly through the corridors, the flickering, flourescent lights throwing dancing shadows over his face. He wondered why he even bothered to answer Lia's first question. He didn't have to answer that. He didn't have to do anything. So, why did he? Why did he shake his head when she asked if he was mute?

Eric sighed in frustration. He was letting a stupid Candor transfer get to him. That was going to stop, now. He hurried through the halls, stopping outside a door that was four stories above the Pit, and knocked loudly.

He didn't have to wait long before the door opened, to reveal a very tired looking Lauryn. She just stared at him for a minute, and he stared right back, before raising that pierced eyebrow of his. The red-head rolled her eyes, exhaling loudly, before moving out of the way to let the young leader in.

"What's up?" she asked, as they settled on the couch. The green-eyed girl curled her legs up under her on the far end, and Eric leaned back, stretching out his legs, with his feet on the coffee table. The young leader shrugged, slightly, in answer to her question, causing the red-head to sigh in exasperation.

"Seriously, Eric? You come knocking on my door when I'm trying to relax, and then when I ask you 'what's up', you just shrug?" Lauryn scoffs, crossing her arms, and shifting slightly in her seat. "Come on, now."

Eric lifted his hips up off of the couch a bit, so he could to pull out his pad and pen from his back pocket. Lauryn sighed when she saw him scribbling. She missed when they used to talk about everything. But, ever since he found out about his medical condition... It hadn't been the same. Eric hadn't been the same. The red-head blamed herself.

Eric reached his arm out to hand her the small piece of paper. She looked it over briefly: The Candor bitch. Lauryn gave him a look that said, 'seriously?'.

"First jumper? What about her?" the green-eyed girl inquired, as she moved to sit cross-legged when her feet started to go to sleep. Eric scribbled on the pad again, and handed her the next note: Questions.

"So," said Lauryn, raising her eyebrow, and shaking her head a bit. "Lot's of people have asked you questions. You don't answer them. You don't have to answer them. You never have, before. What's the problem, here? Because I'm just not getting it."

Eric sighed, deeply, running a hand through his blonde hair, before he wrote out yet another note: I answered one... She asked if I was mute, and I shook my head no. She kept asking questions. I slapped her.

The young leader's mouth was set in a thin line while he wrote, and he almost ripped the paper to hand it to Lauryn. Her eyes skimmed over the words, her face softening a bit.

"Eric, look," the red-head started, scooting close to the blonde, and looking up into his icy-blue orbs. "I would say not to let her get to you, but... I wish somebody would get to you. I miss your voice... I don't care how it sounds; I just miss your voice."

 _"I fucking care how it sounds. I sound like a fucking retard."_

"You can't keep quiet forever. Sooner or later, you'll need to speak. It can either be on your terms, or it will be on somebody elses. I know you. I know you're rattling off all kinda crap in that messed up head of yours..."

 _"Yep, I surely fucking am."_

"...but, I really wish you would at least consider it, yeah?" Eric shakes his head in response, and Lauryn's eyes fall as she sighs. "Fine, get out of my apartment, you big, dumb brute."

Eric almost laughed at that.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"I can't believe he fucking slapped me!" Lia exclaims when the initiates have settled into the dorms. Marc sits on the Candor girl's bed, as they talk, playing with his longer, ginger hair.

"I hate to say this, Lia," he starts, blushing, and ducking his head a bit. "But, if I was him, I probably would've slapped you, too." Lia punches the Amity boy in the shoulder, and he lets out a yelp of pain.

"What the fuck, Marc?!"

"I'm just saying... like, I'm sure he has a good reason? Maybe?" Marc ducked just in time, as a pillow came soaring straight at his head, barely missing him.

"A good reason? To fucking slap me?!" Lia almost shouts, her pride, and feelings, hurt by the incident.

"No, no! Not to slap you! Please, stop hitting me!" Marc squeals, relieved when Lia backs off a bit. The Candor girl is still fuming, though. "I'm just saying... maybe he has a good reason not to talk? Like, I knew this boy in Amity..."

"I don't care! I just want to go to sleep. Marc, get back to bed," Lia huffs out angrily, as she pushes at the bigger boy. He concedes with a "Yes, ma'am," and all but jumps on his cot, snuggling down under his blanket, and covering up his head.

Lia scoots down and curls up, as well, eventually falling into the welcome, dark tendrils of sleep.

 ****** _Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day_


	4. Chapter Three - Mad World

**Author's Note:**

First off, I want to thank everyone that left the lovely reviews:) Classybird, mrsbishop21, interdictum in aeternum, mumelinchen, and RisughXD. I love you guys! Your reviews make me so happy:) I hope you all enjoy! xoxo

"You totally have a handprint on your face," Marc asserted, as he blocked the practice strikes that the Candor girl threw. Lia made a point to not make eye contact with the young Dauntless leader. She didn't even spare a passing glance in his direction, all morning.

"Tell me something that I don't know," Lia replied, increasing the power she put into the punches. She was angry. She was furious. She just couldn't understand what Eric's deal was.

Cordelia was becoming breathless, striking out at the Amity boy's padded hands, again, and again.

Eventually, Four called the break for lunch, and Lia all but dragged Marc down to the cafeteria.

They sat at the table with Sassy, Uriah, Violet, and Todd, again, striking up a conversation almost as soon as they sat down.

"Ya' know," the blue-haired girl announced, speaking through a mouth full of balogna sandwich. "You totally have a handprint on your face."

Lia sighs, heavily, poking at her own sandwich. She doesn't have much of an appetite, today. "I know," she grumbled, touching the tender flesh with her fingertips, and wincing.

"Hey, don't worry about him," Sassy said, attempting to lighten the other girl's mood. "Let's go shopping before dinner, huh? You could use the Dauntless makeover." That brought a smile to the dark-haired girl's face. Lia definitely liked the sound of that.

"Count me in!" she agreed, nodding in excitement.

"Hey, so I've heard some rumours..." Uriah starts, speaking in a hushed tone, and leaning around Sassy to look at Lia.

"About Eric?" Lia inquired, the curiousity practically dripping from her voice. "Well?"

Uriah glanced around the room, before continuing. "I heard there was an attack on his patrol, a little over a year ago. I don't know exactly what happened, but... my brother was on a search and rescue detail, and, he told me that the guy was pretty bad off; said he was in a coma for a while. Apparently, he went into that fight with quite the colorful vocabulary, and then... nothing."

"Wait, seriously?" Lia asked, her eyes going wide. Uriah nodded his head.

"Yeah, I mean, Zeke doesn't have a reason to lie," he stated simply, shrugging. "I wouldn't doubt it, for a second. Maybe the guy has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or something."

Lia thought that sounded logical.

"Yeah, Zeke said that Eric ranked first, in both stages of training, and that he's the youngest, full-fledged leader that Dauntless has ever had. According to my brother, he was an asshole."

Everyone at the table laughed at that.

"Yeah, that hasn't changed, anyway," Marc stated, giving the rest of his sandwich to Sassy. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Lia, and it was all she could do to hold her tongue.

"Their tears are filling up their glasses. No expression, no expression. Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, no tomorrow..." Violet was singing along with her small CD player, and everyone at the table turned to look at her. She paused the music, and blushed.

"What are you listening too?" Marc asked, finally tearing his gaze away from the blue-haired girl. Violet shrugged a bit.

"It's a song called Mad World, I don't know who sings it..." the purple-haired girl looked thoughtful for a moment. "My dad runs the music shop, and somebody just drops these CDs off in the mailbox every so often. We've never seen who it was, though. We just listen to it, and my dad adds the music to the playlist for the radio. It's the same guy that sings Boulevard of Broken Dreams; the one Sassy likes. They're underground recordings; whoever writes this stuff, records it at home on an eight-track."

"Ooooh, mystery musician!" Lia exclaims, clapping her hands together, excitedly. "Well, now you know I've got to find out who this guy is. I love solving a mystery. It's really sad, though."  
Violet smiles at the dark-haired girl, turning the speaker up so they can hear.

 _ **And I find it kinda funny**_

 _ **I find it kinda sad**_

 _ **The dreams in which I'm dying**_

 _ **Are the best I've ever had**_

 _ **I find it hard to tell you**_

 _ **I find it hard to take**_

 _ **When people run in circles**_

 _ **It's a very, very mad world, mad world****_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"You're actually kinda good at this," Four watches intently, as Lia lets yet another knife soar, and it sticks close to the center of the target. Lia smiles at him, as she continues to throw the knives, picking up her speed, and hitting dead center, almost every time.

"Hey!"

Lia stops throwing, and turns to see Eric shove Marc, before pointing at the knife that had just clanged to the floor. Marc wasn't very good at throwing knives, yet.

"What, you want me to go out there to get it?" Marc inquires, giving the young leader an incredulous expression. Eric nods slowly, like it should be obvious.

"What, while they're still throwing?"

"Everybody stop!" Four hollers out, from beside Lia. She felt like she was about to jump out of her skin.

Eric shoved the Amity boy towards the target, glaring daggers the whole time, before turning around, and walking back to Marc's station. He picked up a knife from off the table, turning it over, the overhead lights glinting off the shiny metal.

"You're gonna stand there while he throws those knives at you. If you flinch, you're out."

Lia was suprised at the cold tone in Four's voice. She couldn't believe they were about to do this. There was no way Marc would make it through this. Eric took a deep breath, and raised his arm.

"Stop!"

Everyone in the training room turned to look at the Candor girl. Lia swallowed when she made eye contact with the intimidating leader, but she held her head high, anyway.

"Anyone can stand in front of a target. It doesn't prove anything," her voice was surprisingly more confident than she felt. On the inside, fear was eating her alive; clawing at her stomach.

Eric raised an eyebrow at her, before nodding at Four. The brown-haired instructor raised his hand, waving Marc away from the target. Then the blonde leader gestured for Lia to step up.

The dark-haired girl took a deep breath as she took her friend's place in front of the board. She prayed that Eric wouldn't kill her.

"Same rules apply," Four called, from the sidelines, crossing his arms as he moved to stand beside the daunting, blue-eyed leader.

Eric smirked at Lia, before drawing his arm back. He let the sharp blade fly, and Lia heard a SMACK when it landed by her head. She tried to control her breathing, and focused on her anger at the blonde. She glared right back at him, never breaking eye contact again, as he let loose knife, after knife.

She didn't move at all, until she felt a small sting at the crest of her ear. She raised her hand to feel the wound, pulling it back down to see the crimson blood, staining her fingertips.

She looked back up, to meet Eric's gaze, again, although this time, his expression was bordering on amusement.

 _"Well, you asked for it."_

She stalked towards him, the rage beyond her control. "You cut me, you fucking asshole!" she screamed in his face, her anger only growing when he grinned at her.

Eric raised his right hand up, and gently touched Lia's cheek, feeling a sort of satisfaction when he realized that the mark on her face fit his hand perfectly. He withdrew his fingers from her face, and nodded in agreement, before turning, and walking away.

"Hey, wait!"

 _"What the fuck does Candor want, now?"_

"I'm not done talking to you!" Lia screams, running in front of him, and blocking his path. Eric moves to walk around her, but she blocks him, again. The blonde leader crosses his arms over his chest, and glares down at her, raising an eyebrow. He was daring her to continue.

"Why? I just want to know, why?" Lia asks, attempting to lower her voice, and calm down a bit. She was asking why he cut her, but, she was really asking two different questions.

Eric could sense the change in her tone, and it irritated him beyond reason. He took a step closer to her, and Lia could feel his breath blowing her eyelashes, gently, as she looked up into his icy-blue orbs. She felt so small this close to him. He was so eerily quiet, and it terrified her.

Slowly, he touched a finger to her lips, as if to shush her, before stepping to the side and walking away, exiting the training room.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Hey, why are you so quiet? You don't like shopping?" Violet inquired, as they browsed through rack, after rack of dark clothing. Lia sighed, and offered a small smile. She just couldn't stop thinking about Eric. She was scared of him, to be sure. She didn't understand why she just couldn't keep her mouth closed around him.

"No," she said, quietly, grabbing a deep, ruby red blouse off the rack. "I like shopping. I was just thinking." She inspected the shirt for a moment, before putting it back down.

"About what?" Sassy piped up, holding a black mini dress to herself. "About Eric?"

Lia sighed again, and shook her head. "Hey, let's go pay for this shit, and get out of here. I wanna get a lip ring."

The girls payed for their new clothes, and accessories, and made their way down to the tattoo parlor. There were a few people getting tattoos, and there was a large, burly man waiting at an empty station. He stood to greet the initiates when they entered.

"Getting a tattoo?" he asked, as he led Lia over to his chair. She shook her head, glancing around at the different templates lining the walls. The dim lighting was multicolored, and gave the parlor a cozy feeling. It was very relaxing, and hypnotic.

"I just want to get a lip ring, right here," she replied, pointing to the right side of her full, bottom lip.

"I think I can help you with that," he answered, with a grin. Lia chatted with Violet, and Sassy, while the big man prepared a piercing gun with a plain, silver ball.

"You'll need to wait about a week before you change the ring, and you need to clean it twice a day, got it?" he asked, holding the gun up by his head. The dark-haired girl nodded, and he pulled out her lip, stretching it, and quickly pulled the trigger. It happened so fast, she wasn't even sure if he had even pierced it yet.

"Am I done, already?" Lia asked, raising her eyebrow, in confusion. The man laughed, and slapped her on the back. He introduced himself as Paul, and explained that if it got irritated, or caused her too much pain, that she needed to come back, immediately.

"And try not to get punched in the mouth," Paul remarked, as the girls exited the parlor.

Sassy and Violet helped carry Lia's purchases to the dorm room, before they hugged, and parted ways.

Lia was really not looking forward to going back in to training the next morning.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

 _"Candor smart mouth... Stupid bitch... Can't keep her damn lips shut..."_

Eric paced back and forth in his apartment, trying, unsuccessfully, to get his anger under control. He had been fuming about Lia before he fell asleep, and he was still fuming when he woke up.

 _"She just doesn't know when to shut up! What the fuck does she ask so many goddamn questions for?"_

The young leader growled, in frustion, when the alarm on his watch beeped. He exhaled loudly, as he exited the room, heading down the stairs, and to the training room.

Eric really did not want to go in there, but if he didn't... He wasn't about to let a Candor transfer win. He was the winner.

He stormed into the training room, with a scowl on his face, and even Four seemed to try and avoid the seething blonde.

Eric caught Lia's gaze, and he glared at her. She glared right back.

The blue-eyed man couldn't believe how bold the dark-haired girl was. She must have a death wish.

Four called out for the first jumper, and the last jumper, to enter the ring. That brought a grin to the young leader's face. The Erudite boy would do the job for him.

Lia nervously shifted her gaze to the ring, before she slowly approached the elevated mat. She pulled off her boots, and tied her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head, before she stepped up into the ring.

The large Erudite boy climbed up only seconds after Lia, glancing between Lia's smaller frame, and Four.

"How long do we fight for?" he asked, nervously. Lia couldn't tell if he was nervous he might lose, or if he was nervous he might accidentally kill her.

"Until one of you can't continue," Four answered plainly, folding his arms, and gesturing for the two initiates to begin.

Lia swallowed nervously, glancing at Marc briefly, before her eyes found Eric. He was smirking at her.

She almost scoffed at him, but a hard blow to her ribs made her drop to the mat, clutching her side.

She rolled away, just in time, as the Erudite boy raised his foot to perform an axe kick. She got to her feet, quickly, drawing her hands up in front of her face, ready for the next attack. The large boy attempted a cross, but Lia was watching his shoulders; she knew he was going to fake that jab. She dropped low, and kicked his knees with both of her feet, and when he fell back, she jumped on top of him, swinging for the fences.

She didn't hear her name being called, all she saw was red. She continued her assault on the Erudite boy, until she felt a pair of arms lifting her off the unconscious form below her.

Her eyes went wide when she saw the mess that she had made, and she ran and dropped to her knees beside the Erudite boy.

"Oh, shit," she said, quietly, touching a large bruise forming on the side of the boy's bloody face. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Four, and one of the Candor boys, hurried to cart him off to the infirmary, after announcing that she had won the fight. Lia watched as they left with him, and felt a tear slide down her face.

She turned around to find Eric standing right behind her.

"Why do you keep doing that?!" she said, angrily. She was surprised, when he reached out to brush the tear off of her cheek with his thumb, and was shocked at how gentle he was. She swallowed nervously.

"Will he wake up?" Lia asked, quietly, barely above a whisper. Eric nodded in response, and gestured for her to exit the ring. Marc threw his arm around her, and congratulated her, but she couldn't be consoled. She had beaten the boy to a pulp.

Eric watched her curiously. The Candor girl kept surprising him. She was unpredictable. She talked back to him, demanded answers to questions that weren't any of her business, wins a fight fair and square, and cries about hurting her opponent.

He shook his head, in confusion, stealing another glance at the dark-haired girl. She was shrugging off the Amity boy's shoulder, and then she punched him, lightly, giggling.

 _"Is that a lip ring?"_

Eric shook his head at the thought, scowling.

 _"What the fuck do I care?"_

**Mad World - Gary Jules


	5. Chapter Four- Best of Days Worst of Days

**Author's Note:**

I wanted to thank mrsbishop21, RisughXD, interdictum in aeternum, the guttersnipe, and Feigningintrest for the lovely reviews:) Fave/follow/review, I love reviews! :) Hope you enjoy xoxo

"This board is your life," Four gestured to a blank, black screen that hung on a beam above the entrance to the training room. "This is where your rankings will show up. You train separately from the Dauntless-born, but you'll be ranked together. It's easy to fall in rank, and difficult to rise. Only the top twenty initiates will become members of Dauntless; those of you who fail to earn an acceptable spot, will become Factionless."

Lia's lips parted slightly, and she shared a brief, wary glance with Marc. She didn't know what she would do if any of her new friends were to fail initiation. She couldn't bare to think that she might not pass.

"There's thirty-one of us!" a brunette from Erudite exclaimed, with wide eyes. Four smirked at her, shifting his weight to one leg.

"Yes," he agreed, simply. "Six of you will be leaving the compound after stage one, and five of you will be leaving after the final test."

Four reached inside his coat, and pulled out a small, black remote. He pressed a button on it, and the screen flashed to life. It displayed the ranks, and names, of every one of the initiates; transfer, and Dauntless-born, alike.

Lia's jaw dropped when she found her name on the board; she ranked sixth. Out of all thirty-one initiates competing for the right to make their lives in Dauntless, she ranked sixth.

"Do not let fear consume you; if you're truly Dauntless, you won't be worried that you might fail. You chose us, and now, we get to choose you."

"Aw man," Marc whispered, nudging Lia in the side, and pointing to his name. "I'm twenty-one... I'm never going to make it."

The dark-haired girl noticed her Amity friend trembling, and poked him in the stomach, giggling when he squeaked.

"You are going to make it, Marc," she told him, with a serious tone. She noticed the young, blonde leader watching her from where he leaned against a stone column, with his arms folded, off to the side. "Trust me, I won't let you fail. We're in this together, yeah?"

The ginger-haired boy gave her a small smile, and nodded his head, before they followed Four up to the rooftop shooting range.

Eric watched them go, before he followed them up the stairs, and outside. The Candor girl surprised him, to no end. She had a big mouth, but she adapted to Dauntless with little to no difficulty. Sure, she wasn't perfect, yet, but she definitely had potential. It didn't escape his attention that Lia was the only transfer to rank in the top ten.

The sun was exceptionally bright, and the heat was brutal, up on top of the roof. Lia had to squint her eyes, and still had trouble watching the brown-haired leader demonstrate how to shoot a pistol.

She picked up a gun, and pressed the release to check the clip for bullets, just the way that Four had showed them. She failed to catch the clip, and it fell to the ground, causing her to jump, in surprise.

Lia felt a small blush creep to her cheeks; she really hoped nobody saw that.

She bent down to pick the clip back up, and then clicked it back in place, before switching the safety off. She took her stance, and aimed at the target. When she pulled the trigger, the recoil caused her hands to fly up in the air, and she stumbled back. She had expected to fall to the ground, but instead she slammed back into a brick wall.

A brick wall with hands.

Lia turned her head, and, lo and behold, there was Eric, placing his hands on her shoulders, to steady her. He wore a wicked grin of amusement, and it caused her blush to deepen, substantially.

The young leader pointed ahead of her, in the direction of the target, and Lia turned back to see if she had even hit it.

She had hit the upper, right-hand corner, on the white border; not the actual target. She huffed in frustration, before taking her stance, again. This time, before she could aim down the sights, Eric snatched the weapon from her hands.

"Hey! Wha-!" Eric placed a finger to her lips, again, to shush her. She raised a quizzical eyebrow, and he smirked. The blonde leader gently pushed her to the side, and he grabbed Lia's hand, placing it on his stomach.

The dark-haired girl pulled her hand away, quickly, as though she had been burned, and the young leader rolled his eyes.

He grabbed her hand again, and placed it back over his stomach, and this time, Lia didn't remove it. Eric nodded once, in approval, before taking his stance.

The blonde breathed in, and out, firing the weapon on the exhale, and hit the target dead center. He lowered the gun, and looked down where Lia still rested her hand against him, smirking at the dark-haired girl.

Lia quickly pulled her hand to herself, her cheeks burning, and lowered her gaze. The blonde leader held the pistol out to her, and she accepted it without meeting his eyes, and went to take her stance again.

She gasped when she felt his large, warm hands on her waist, her eyes going wide. She didn't turn to look at him, for fear that she would be eye level with his chin, again.

Eric felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, at her reaction to his touch. He kicked her feet further apart, and pulled her shoulders back a bit, before placing his hands over her smaller ones.

Lia gulped nervously, when she felt the young leader's body pressed flush against her back, his warm breath drifting over her ear, and she shuddered. She could feel his heart beating, and soon her breath fell in sync with Eric's. The blonde removed his hands from the Candor girl's, and let them rest on her shoulders, waiting.

Cordelia aimed the weapon, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger when she exhaled, her feet absorbing the shock of the recoil.

She had missed the center by less than an inch.

She felt Eric step away from her, a chill running through her at the lack of his presence, in spite of the searing heat from the summer sun.

She turned to look at him, in shock, and he nodded, gesturing for her to continue. She felt a small smile tugging at her lips as she fired the weapon again, and again.

Lia had hit just outside the center twice more, and hit the bullseye three times, after receiving the instruction from the blue-eyed leader. She turned to thank him, with a grin on her face, but Eric had already gone. The Candor girl spotted him kicking Marc's feet apart, before he met her gaze with a smirk.

The dark-haired girl glanced back to the target, briefly, before reloading the clip, and continuing to fire.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Marc! Stop!" Sassy screamed, as the Amity boy tickled her relentlessly. Lia, and the rest of their little lunch group, laughed boisterously at the two. The Candor girl was having an exceptionally good day, especially considering her rank, and her improvement with marksmanship.

"Say 'I'm a pansycake'!" the ginger-haired boy retorted, grinning as he continued his assault of the blue-haired girl's armpits, and ribs.

"You're a pansycake!" she screamed, struggling to the get the words out through her hysterical laughter.

Marc chuckled, darkly, as he continued to torture the out-spoken Dauntless-born. "Not me!" he exclaimed. "You!"

"I'm a pansycake! I'm a pansycake!" Sassy yelled, and Marc immediately withdrew his weapon of choice; his fingers.

Several heads in the cafeteria had turned at their little scene, and a lot of people started cheering at Marc's victory. Sassy playfully glared at the ginger, pointing a finger in his face, and poking his nose.

"This isn't over, Amity!" she announced loudly, causing even more of a joyful chorus of laughter throughout the dining hall.

Things settled down, quickly, and Lia grinned at the two.

"Alright, now kiss and make up," she said, smirking when both Marc, and Sassy, blushed a deep scarlet, causing giggles to erupt from Uriah, Todd and Violet.

"Hey, so I heard about how deadly you are with a weapon," Todd spoke up, throwing an arm over Violet's shoulder. Lia grinned, widely, nodding her head.

"Yeah, I'm six, on day four, for a reason," she stated, simply. "We've just got to get Marc up from his twenty-one."

The Amity boy groaned, and placed his head in his hands. "I'm never gonna make it!" he whined, and Lia had to suppress a giggle when Sassy started rubbing his back. Those two totally had a thing for each other, whether they admited it, or not.

"Hey, so our mystery musician left another CD," Violet piped up, attempting to lighten the mood, once again.

"Let's hear it, then," Todd said, kissing the purple-haired girl on the cheek. Uriah whistled, and made kissing sounds, eliciting giggles from everyone.

Violet pulled the CD out of a paper covering, and placed it in the player, turning up the volume.

 _ **That there, that's not me**_

 _ **I go where I please**_

 _ **I walk through walls**_

 _ **I float down the Chasm**_

 _ **I'm not here**_

 _ **This isn't happening**_

 _ **I'm not here, I'm not here**_

 _ **In a little while**_

 _ **I'll be gone**_

 _ **The moment's already passed**_

 _ **Yeah, it's gone**_

 _ **I'm not here**_

 _ **This isn't happening**_

 _ **I'm not here, I'm not here****_

"Damn, this guy has got some problems, huh?" Marc asserts, as the rest of the group laugh. Violet suddenly quiets down, and turns the power off to the CD player.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Lia starts, pouting her lips, her shoulders drooping. "It's depressing, yeah, but I was enjoying that!"

Violet points in the direction behind the Candor girl.

Lia sighs, deeply. "Seriously?" She spins around in her seat, and Eric is standing behind her, yet again. "We were kinda doing something, before you so rudely interrupted." Lia crosses her arms over her chest, staring up at the young, blonde leader. Eric's eyes flicker, briefly, to the CD player before he catches Lia's gaze, again.

"Well?" Lia asks, inclining her head forward. "What do you want?"

Something that the dark-haired girl couldn't decipher flashed across Eric's icy-blue orbs. He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his pad and pen.

Lia watches with interest as he scribbles away over the paper; Eric has never communicated with her in this way. He hands her the small note, and turns to leave.

Lia watches him go, before scanning what he wrote to her: You did good today, for a Candor smart mouth.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Lia!"

Cordelia rubbed her eyes, and groaned, as she stirred under her warm blankets. She sat up slowly, to find Four standing at the end of her cot. She jumped up, quickly, her bare feet hitting the cold, stone floor.

"You need to come with me," he said softly, sighing deeply.

Lia stared at him for a moment, in confusion.

"Why, what's going on? It's the middle of the night," the dark-haired girl glanced to a large, industrial clock above the bathroom. The brown-haired leader shifted awkwardly where he stood, before beckoning the Candor girl to follow him.

Lia thought that this was odd, but she followed her instructor, regardless. The dark corridors were colder than usual, with Lia only wearing the shorts and tank top that she had been sleeping in. Four led her up several flights of stairs, and down another long hallway, before stopping outside of a metal door with a frosted glass window.  
He knocked before opening the door, moving to the side for Cordelia to enter. He closed the door behind her, waiting just outside of the office. Four didn't want to be in there when she was given the news.

The brown-eyed instructor leaned against the cool wall, and waited.

"Lia," a dark-skinned man stood up from behind a desk, offering her a small smile, as he gestured for her to take a seat. The dark-haired girl hesitantly accepted the chair, crossing her arms over her chest to ward off the chill.

"Who are you?" she asked, curiously. Lia didn't think that she had seen this man, before. He leaned against the front of his desk.

"My name is Max. I'm the leader here, at Dauntless," he responded, nodding his head a bit.

"Why am I in here?" Cordelia pressed, growing nervous. She didn't understand why she was woken from her sleep in the middle of the night, and brought before the leader. She had only met the leader of Candor, Jack Kang, once, when she was caught in a lie as a small child.

The older man scratched the back of his neck, and sighed, his actions making the dark-haired girl uncomfortable, and she wiggled in her seat.

"Lia, we've received some unfortunate news," he begin, a sympathetic expression on his face. Lia got an uneasy feeling in her stomach at his tone, and she swallowed, thickly. "There was an accident at Candor..."

 _"Don't say it,"_ Lia thought, as she began to shake her head.

"Three residential apartments caught fire..."

 _"No, please. No."_

"...and your parents were trapped inside..."

 _"No, no, no."_

"I'm very sorry. They didn't make it out."

Lia felt like her entire world had just fallen apart, in a matter of seconds. Sure, she had left her parents behind to join a new faction, but she didn't leave on bad terms. She had even told her parents, beforehand. She still loved them; they still loved her. And, now, to think that they were gone from the world...

"It's not true. You're lying!" she accused, standing up and pointing a finger in the leader's face. Tears began to stream down her face, and she trembled with rage.

"I'm sorry, Lia," the dark-skinned man reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to comfort the girl, but she shrugged him off, violently.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed, before running for the door, swinging it open. She tried to make a run for it; she didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to go. Four sensed the situation at hand, and grabbed her, before she could do anything stupid.

"Hey! Hey, calm down," the brown-haired instructor attempted to calm the hysterical girl. She fought against him, thrashing in his arms, attempting to get away.

"Let me go!" she screamed through her tears, kicking out at the man restraining her. "Let me go!"

The fight eventually left Cordelia, and she dropped, limply, to the floor, sobbing.

"Hey, now," Four hushed her, quietly, kneeling with her on the ground. "Let it out." He let the dark-haired girl hold onto his shirt as she cried, hiccuping, and sobbing.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Eric, you haven't talked about anything other than the Candor girl, for like, an hour," Lauryn asserted, peeling the skin off of an orange. He really hadn't. Eric was impressed. Lia was excelling in every area of stage one, and the young leader had no doubt that she would become Dauntless. In some ways, she reminded him of himself, only a few years ago.

"Let's talk about something else, huh?" the red-head speaks up, again, as she pulls apart the slices of orange, placing them in a bowl. "Like, I don't know..."

Eric grinned at the green-eyed woman; sometimes, things could get pretty boring, and she was grasping for straws to strike up a conversation about something other than the initiates. He wrote Lauryn a note, pertaining to such, and she smirked at him.

"Yeah, but we're not talking about iniates," she said, popping an orange slice into her mouth. "We're talking about the Candor girl."

Eric scowled at his friend, and the red-head laughed, loudly, at his reaction.

 _"What the fuck you tryna say, Lauryn?"_

Clearly, his expression said it all, because the green-eyed woman threw her hands up in the air, in surrender. "Yep, I get it. Shutting up, now."

"Let me go!"

 _"Candor?"_

"Let me go!"

Eric could hear the girl sobbing in the corridor, and stood with Lauryn to investigate. They exited the red-head's apartment to find Lia, on the ground, sobbing into Four's shoulder, while he was rubbing her back.

 _"The fuck is this? The fuck is he touching her for?!"_

"What's going on, here?" Lauryn demanded, placing her hands on her hips. Four looked up, and shook his head, slowly. That meant he wanted them to back off. Lauryn wasn't as good at reading Four's unspoken requests as she was Eric's. "Come on, explain what this is."

The Candor girl pushed away from the brown-haired instructor, her gaze meeting Eric's, momentarily. He could see that her eyes were red, and puffy, and wet trails ran down her face from the tears that she had shed.

 _"Why are you crying?"_

The dark-haired girl's gaze shifted to Four, briefly, before she sprinted away, down the hall. Eric raised a pierced eyebrow at the brown-haired man.

"Her parents died. They got trapped in their appartment, and burned alive," he informed them, glancing down the hall where Cordelia disappeared. "Max just told her."

 _"Why did he tell her? He should've just let her live in blissful ignorance!"_

"I say we split up and look for her, before she does something stupid, or catches the flu," Lauryn suggests, Four and Eric nodding in agreement.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Lia ran until she was out of breath, stopping when she reached the Chasm. She slowly walked out across the rail, leaning over and looking down at the river, rushing below her feet.

The sound was almost deafening, the roar of the water echoing off the walls of the cavern. Cordelia felt the tears start again, silently streaming down her face. _"I shouldn't have left them!"_ she thought, growing angry with herself. _"I could've saved them if I had stayed! This is my fault!"_

Lia jumped, startled, when she felt the rail sway, and she turned around to see Eric, slowly shuffling across the metal planks. He came up beside her, pulling out that pad and pen of his.

Lia accepted the note: Please don't jump.

"Why not?" she responded, making eye contact with the young, silent leader. "It's my fault! I could've saved them if I'd stayed! If not, then I would've died with them..." Lia glanced over the rail again, the water cutting through the Chasm, violently. "Why not jump?"

 _"Now you just sound like an idiot, Candor."_

Eric scribbled on the pad again, passing her the small, yellow paper: You're Dauntless. You belong here. Not your fault.

"You think I belong here?" Lia asked, raising an eyebrow, shivering even more, now that the cold water sprayed up in the air from the river below. Eric nodded, with a small smile.

"You found her!" Four and Lauryn hurried across the bridge, glancing between the leader, and the Candor girl. "Come on, let's get out of here, heights make me nervous."

Eric smirked at the brown-haired instructor, as they walked back into the corridor.

"Lia, why don't you stay with me tonight?" Lauryn offered, and Eric threw her a look. "That way you can get some good rest, and I'll make us some hot chocolate and grilled cheese sandwiches, huh?"

Cordelia turned around, looking to Eric, waiting for permission. She didn't need his permission, though. The blonde offered her a small smile, and nodded.

"Yeah, okay," Lia agreed, shivering; her teeth chattering. She turned to leave with Lauryn, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. The dark-haired girl turned back around, to be met with Eric holding out his jacket to her, leaving him in only a thin, black t-shirt. The Candor girl frowned, and shook her head, but Eric was persistent.

 _"Stubborn Candor."_

The young leader threw it around her shoulders, ignoring her protest, pleased when the shivering stopped. His jacket was still warm, and it did make Lia feel a bit better. She smiled, and mouthed a 'thank you', before following Lauryn back to the red-head's apartment.

**How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead (I changed "Liffey" to "Chasm" though, to Divergentize it, lol.)


	6. Chapter Five - Skylines and Steeples

**Three days later...**

Lia stared at a crack in the floor, with a blank expression on her face; she felt nothing but apathetic about anything, anymore. The loss of her parents had affected her, immensely; she had robotically participated in the daily training exercises for the three days immediately following the grim news.

She had numbly moved through the motions in marksmanship, rope climbing, and fighting. The dark-haired girl had lost her second fight to another girl who transferred from Candor. The depression had set in, and it didn't look to the other initiates, or their instructors, like it would be leaving anytime soon.

Cordelia wouldn't speak to Marc, or even her Dauntless-born friends, and she had felt like she was slowly losing herself.

"Lia, come on," Marc pleaded with the amber-eyed girl, shaking her shoulders gently. "You're scaring me. You're scaring all of us. Snap out of it."

The dark-haired girl didn't raise her eyes to the Amity boy, if anything, she stared at the floor even more intensely.

The initiates were in the training room, pounding relentlessly on the heavy punching bags that were lined up against the far fall. The only sounds in the room were the dull smack of flesh against canvas, and low grunts of exertion, as the instructors looked on.

Cordelia stood off to the side, unable to will herself to participate in the exercise, while Marc begged her, unsucessfully, to join in. The ginger-haired boy gave up, with a sigh, and proceeded with his morning training.

The blonde leader watched the scene, with anger; Lia was the single, most promising transfer, and he was not about to sit idly by while she fell to the bottom. He would not see the Candor girl become Factionless over something so trivial in the long haul of life.

Eric stalked over to the dark-haired girl, crossing his arms over his chest, and he pursed his lips in dissapointment as he looked down on her. She did not meet his gaze, she did not glare at him with that spark of fire in her eyes, and she did not make some snide comment about his invasion of personal space.

Cordelia barely noticed when the tall, silent blonde approached her. She simply didn't care enough to be aware of her surroundings. She felt her breath leave her momentarily, and she stumbled back, when Eric shoved her backwards. Her eyes widened a bit, and she finally met the young leader's annoyed gaze, in shock. She had no sharp retort; she simply stood there, gazing back at him.

The blonde shoved her again, harder this time, and Cordelia lost her footing, falling to the floor. At this point, everyone else in the training room had stopped what they were doing to watch the altercation.

Eric glared down at the dark-haired girl, his icy-blue orbs piercing into her own amber eyes. Something sparked within the Candor girl, when she hit the ground, and she jumped up quickly, hands clenched, and shaking, by her sides. She stood chest to chest with the daunting leader, her amber eyes revealing her inner rage.

The training room had gone eerily quiet, as the two stared each other down.

The blonde shoved Lia, yet again, and the dark-haired girl had barely stumbled back, before she attacked the silent leader. The seething Candor transfer threw a powerful right hook to the left side of Eric's face, before kicking out with her left leg, the blow landing to the young leader's stomach. The blue-eyed man gasped, clutching the sore area as he coughed.

The dark-haired girl wasn't finished yet, though, and she quickly dived under him, rolling onto her back. She kicked out at the back of the blonde instructor's legs, causing him to drop to the floor, on his knees. Cordelia took advantage of his current, vulnerable position, and swiftly jumped onto Eric's back, knocking him forward to lay sprawled on his stomach on the cold, cement ground.

Eric had only just turned his head to the side in time to avoid a broken nose, his head bouncing off the concrete floor, causing his vision to blur slightly.

The Candor girl had him trapped with her legs, immobilizing his left arm with her knee, while she yanked his right arm up, twisting the limb and pulling it backwards, at an unnatural angle, in an arm bar. She was mere miliseconds away from breaking the blonde leader's arm, when she caught the grin that graced his features.

She released her opponent from the submissive position that she had restrained him in, and stood, slowly. Eric rolled over onto his back, before pulling himself to his feet, and continued to grin down at the dark-haired girl.

"You..." Lia shook her head, her eyes flitting closed, briefly, as she tried to wrap her mind around what had just happened. "You didn't fight back... You wanted me to attack you?"

Eric's grin widened, and he nodded, once, in agreement with her statement. This was exactly how he had wanted the top-ranked transfer to react.

Lia wore a confused expression, as her eyes searched his icy-blues for an explanation. She didn't understand why he had done this; why he had allowed her to do this.

"Why?" she inquired, a small frown knitting her sharp eyebrows together, as she struggled to make sense of what was going on.

The young leader pulled out his pad and pen, scribbling quickly, before handing Lia the small, yellow slip of paper: Dauntless never give up. You are Dauntless. Don't give up.

Cordelia swallowed thickly as she read the words that he had written, in his small, neat script. She looked back up into Eric's eyes, his expression difficult to read.

"Thank you," she whispered, as she folded up the small piece of paper, and tucked it away in her pocket. The blonde offered no further acknowledgement to her words, but simply gestured to the punching bags, where the rest of the initiates had already resumed practicing their punches and kicks.

 **Six days later - Two weeks into stage one of training...**

"Initiates! Tonight we will be dividing up the transfers, and the Dauntless-born, evenly. This game will not affect your rank, but don't think for a second that it isn't important. This will prove your abilities to work together as a team, your marksmanship, your stealth."

Four knelt down to the metal, grated floor of the car that the initiates occupied on the locomotive, zipping open one, of two large, black duffel bags. The brown-haired instructor pulled out three red guns, tossing one each to Eric and Lauryn, and holding his own up in the air, for all of the initiates to see.

"This will be your weapon of choice for the war games."

Lia turned her head to the right when she heard a snort eminate from the brunette, Candor girl that had beat her in the second fight.

"You call that a gun?" she muttered to her friends; two boys from Erudite, Jared and Liam, a girl from Amity, Mona, and a boy from Candor, William.

Eric heard the sarcastic statement, and wasted no time in aiming his weapon, and firing at the arrogant transfer. The Candor girl, Sarah, screamed out in pain, and slid down the wall to the floor.

Cordelia noticed the smirk that played on the blonde leader's lips, and she had to force her own smug smile away.

Four approached Sarah, bending down, and plucking the silver dart from the skin at her collarbone. "Neuro-stim dart," he explained, raising his voice, while he held the small, four-pronged cartridge up for all to see. "It simulates the pain of a real gun-shot wound, but only lasts a few minutes. That being said, don't let an opponent get your weapon. In high doses, the serum can cause an adverse reaction, poisoning your blood, and is potentially lethal. Any more questions?"

The brown-haired instructor nodded in satisfaction at the lack of words, and threw the dart to the floor. "Two teams; Lauryn and I are captains. You first," Four directed at the red-head, and she stepped forward, scratching her chin as she looked over the transfers, first.

"Lia," she finally said, with a smile, and a wink to the dark-haired girl. The Candor transfer looked to the green-eyed woman with a grin on her face, while Four made a nervous sound.

"Ouch, guess I shoulda picked first, huh? Okay, um..."

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Lights off!" Lauryn called out to the blue team, switching her own, glowing pocket lamp off. Lia did as ordered, before taking in her surroundings. They had gathered in a large park on the north east side of the city, the sharp, jagged skyline to the east a blue sillhouet in the light of the mostly-full moon.

"Wow," the dark-haired girl breathed, in wonder of the spectacular backdrop to their soon-to-be violent game. Eric smiled, slightly, at the expression on the Candor girl's face, remembering the time he had first witnessed the amazing view.

"I know, right?" Violet nudged Lia in the side, both of them giggling, as Lauryn spoke up, once again.

"I'm your captain, but, mostly I'm just hear to supervise. You will be making the decisions in this game. Four likes to play defense, so what's the plan?"

An incomprehensible chatter started among the initiates, everyone arguing the soundness of their ideas.

"Split into three groups. Seven of us form into two groups, and flank them from both sides, while the other three head straight for the flag."

"No, no! We sneak in, and then run out, guns blazing, and take them by surprise."

"Okay, we split into two groups..."

Lia stopped paying attention, deciding to wait it out, and play whatever part they wanted her to play.

Eric noticed her silence, and pointed the dark-haired girl out to Lauryn, who immediately called for the other initiates to be quiet. The blonde leader strode over to the Candor girl, noticing the reflection of the moon in her amber orbs, as she held his gaze. He raised a pierced eyebrow at her, in expectation.

"Me?" she said, her eyes widening, as she looked passed the young leader's shoulder to the other initiates. The blonde nodded, waiting for her response. Lia looked down for a moment, before looking back to the spooky, yet beautiful, skyline.

"Um..." the dark-haired girl worried her lip ring; she had sinced changed out the ball, in favor of a small, silver ring. The blue-eyed leader's gaze drifted briefly to her lips, before studying her eyes, once again. "If Four plays on defense, why don't we steal the position from him? We could head into the Old City, and find somewhere with a high vantage point to wait it out."

The blonde leader nods, in approval, giving the Candor transfer a small smirk.

"Alright, head out!" Lauryn calls to the other initiates. "Lia, you're leading the way!"

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The darkness began to close in, the farther they trekked into the cover of the tall buildings. The only sounds to be heard, were those of boots crunching gravel, and cicadas chirping in the overgrown trees that lined either side of the road. Lia noticed the young leader walking beside her, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw him tapping his fingers against the side of his leg, nervously.

They rounded a bend in the road, and Lia chanced a glance at the blonde's icy-blue eyes. She was slightly surprised when she saw his gaze darting side to side, and he swallowed multiple times.

It dawned on her, then, that the Dauntless leader was afraid of the dark. The Candor girl giggled, and quickly clamped a hand over her mouth, when Eric turned his head to look at her, with an unamused expression.

 _"Something funny to you, Smart Mouth?"_

"Um... There," Cordelia stopped in her tracks, pointing up at an old church with a large bell-tower on the side. "There should be plenty of places to hole up in there, and then two of us can wait in the tower with the flag."

The dark-haired girl led the troop of initiates across the road, and onto the sidewalk, briefly inspecting an old, crumbling sign: St. Michael's Church

They entered through a set of double doors, and Lia gasped when she took in her surroundings, once inside. The ceiling was high, at least thirty feet, and large, white marble columns went all the way from the floor, to the ceiling. There were rows, upon rows, of long, wooden benches, rotting away over the years, and the moonlight shining through the cracked, or broken, stained-glass windows threw eery shadows throughout the room.

Lia lifted her eyes, catching sight of the intricate, and complex, designs that decorated the high ceiling.

"Whoa," she breathed, in amazement. She really never learned very much about life before the war, but, seeing this made her hunger for it.

"Okay," the dark-haired girl shook her head a bit, in an attempt to focus on the task at hand. "So, I want five of you on each side of the aisle; hide on the floor, between the benches, and spread out. I don't want you too close together. I want two of you here in the back. One on each side of the door, and lean back against the wall. I need one person to climb up on top of that... thing," Lia pointed to the large alter at the far end of the room, slightly mesmerized by the decor. "And when Four's group enters, let them get into the middle of the room before you open fire; you'll have them all surrounded. I want two more of you to come with me, and you can guard the bottom of the tower. And lastly, I need one person to come with me to the top of the tower."

Violet and Todd quickly volunteered to guard the back, by the door, and Lauryn offered to climb the alter. Sassy and Uriah staked their claim to guard the bottom of the tower, and everyone else fanned out through the pews, laying on their bellies, waiting for the attack.

That only left one person available to climb the tower with her.

Eric.

The blonde smirked at the Candor girl, when the realization dawned on her face.

 _"Well, this should be interesting."_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Cordelia and Eric left the two Dauntless-born at the bottom of the stairs, before ascending up into the tower. It was a long climb, up many steps, before they finally reached level ground. Lia pushed open the door, stepping out into the slightly chilly, night air. If the view before was spectacular, then this was enchanting. She could see for miles, out over the empty city, and the stars twinkled in the sky above, along with the dazzling light of the moon.

She reluctantly pulled her gaze away from the scenery, snatching the blue, glowing flag from out of her jacket. Cordelia glanced around, searching for somewhere to tie the flag off, but nowhere immediately struck her.  
Then, she remembered seeing the cross-shaped decoration on top of the bell tower. Even if the green team did manage to infiltrate this far up, they would have a very difficult time retrieving it from there.

"Help me with this," Lia stated simply, walking to the window, and throwing her leg over the side.

Eric's eyes went wide when he saw what she was doing, and quickly tried to deter her from going through with it. He rushed over and grabbed her arm, catching her questioning gaze, and shook his head 'no'.

 _"Are you fucking crazy?! What the hell are you doing?!"_

"What is your problem? I'm climbing the rest of the way up. I'm going to tie it around that statue at the top. They won't make it that far."

 _"That's another fifteen feet, at least!"_

The young leader's icy-blue eyes went wide at her words, and he shook his head, again. Lia scoffed, incredulously, at the blonde's reaction. She had a good plan.

"I can do it by myself then, if you're too scared," the dark-haired girl informed him, as she stood on the ledge, and hoisted herself up, and out of site.

Eric's eyes went dark, and his nostrils flared in anger.

 _"I'm not fucking scared!"_

The blonde leader hurried to follow the amber-eyed girl, refusing to look down at the ground below. He saw her, about seven feet above him, climbing the sharp steeple. He cursed inwardly, before pulling himself to the roof, and ascending the spire.

Lia heard heavy breathing, and looked down, to see Eric climbing up, below her. She grinned when she saw the sweat beading on his forehead. She had let her attention waver, and she gasped when her foot slid against the slick, overlapping shingles.

Cordelia slid down, and she thought that she was about to take that trip, when an arm around her waist halted her rapid descent. The dark-haired girl fought to get her breathing under control, and looked up into the young leader's worried eyes.

He inclined his head to the side, asking if she wanted to go back, and forget this lunatic mission.

"I'm fine," Lia answered, shortly, shrugging out of his hold, before continuing to climb the tower. She reached the top, and grinned in satisfaction, as she tied the glowing, blue flag around the cross.

"See," she said, smirking at the blonde, who glared up at her. "All's well that ends well."

They climbed back down, and entered the tower once more, through the window. The dark-haired girl peering over the side, before settling down on the floor, and aiming her gun at the door. Eric was still breathing heavily, and his nervousness was apparent, though he tried to conceal it. He sat down next to the Candor transfer, and pulled his knees up, angling his head down as he tried to regulate his breathing back to normal.

Lia noticed this, and had to fight back the smirk that threatened to take over her face. "You're scared of heights."

The blonde shook his head, without looking up, and took a few, even, deep breaths before pulling out his pad and pen.

He handed her the small paper, and Lia had to squint to be able to read it in the darkness: Falling.

"Falling?" Cordelia looked up at the young leader, confused. "Seriously?"

Eric glared, dangerously, at the dark-haired girl, and she rose her hands in surrender. "Okaaaaay," she said, drawing out the middle vowel. The blonde rolled his eyes at the sarcasm in the Candor transfer's voice.

Eric fixed his gaze on the door, and Lia shifted her eyes to look at him in the light of the moon. The dark-haired girl noticed a small, sideways, Y-shaped scar on the left side of his head. She wondered how she hadn't noticed it, before. Now that she had discovered it, it was very noticeable, even in the darkness.

"How did you get that?" the Candor girl inquired, gesturing to the scar when he turned to look at her. Eric set his mouth in a thin line, and looked away, ignoring her question.

Cordelia was about to inquire, further, but stood to her feet instead, quickly, as the sound of gun fire sounded below them.

The green team was here.

The fire fight didn't last long, and no one from Four's team ever made it past the sanctuary in the lower level of the church. Violet had grabbed the green flag out of Marc's bag after she had shot him down, and was waving it victoriously in the air, when Lia and Eric descended the tower.

"We won!" she screamed, attacking the dark-haired girl with a violent hug, and a kiss to the cheek. Lia laughed, and Eric smirked at their celebration. Not that he had a problem with winning. He was a winner.


	7. Chapter Six - In Memorium

**Author's Note:**

Shoutout to all my lovely reviewers! Ya'll make me happy! :) Big thanks to Feigningintrest, mona-rose, beautifulviolence, the guttersnipe, RisughXD, Missufishy, interdictum in aeternum, Classybird, mrsbishop21, and Lauren :) Seriously, I love getting the regular reviews from you guys, I hope you enjoy the second update of the day:) Don't forget to fave/follow/review, ya' know I love those reviews! :) xoxo

Lia slowly made her way down to the training room; yesterday was the last day of stage one. Yesterday was her last fight, and she won; she knew she was going to make it, but, she was nervous about if all of her friends would. She was nervous to find out if Marc would be staying.  
The large Amity boy sensed this, as he walked by her side, and shoved her playfully, in an attempt to cheer the dark-haired girl up.

"Hey, I don't suck that bad, anymore, ya' know?" he feigned a hurt expression, causing Cordelia to smile, genuinely, at the ginger-haired boy. She knew that was true, but, she couldn't help but be concerned, just the same.

They entered the large, open training room just in time to see Four press a few buttons on the black remote that controlled the ranking board. Lia felt her heart drop into her stomach for a moment, as she turned around, scanning the names from the bottom to the top.

Ten.

Marc was ranked ten.

"You made it!" she breathed out a sigh of relief, turning to hug her large friend. Marc chuckled lightly, turning the dark-haired girl back around and pointing to the screen.

"Lia, look," he said, with a grin crossing his freckled face. The former Candor scanned up from the Amity boy's name. Nine, Violet. Eight, Justin. Seven, Grey. Six, Sassy. Five, Uriah. Four, John. Three, Liam. Two, Donnie.

Lia had ranked first in the first stage of training. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes went wide when she saw her ranking.

"Better close that," Marc said, flicking her jaw with his thumb, and his middle finger. "Before you swallow a fly!"

"I'm number fucking one!" she screamed, throwing herself at her friend, jumping into his arms, and he spun her around a few times, before setting her back on her feet.

"These rankings can change," the brown-haired instructor spoke up, raising his voice above the loud chatter of the transfers. "Your final rankings will show up at the end of stage two. You all need to fight hard, and don't hold back. If you do... it could be the difference between staying and leaving. Stage two will be focused on your ability to face your worst fears. Conquer them, or they will conquer you."

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"I'm number one!" Lia squeals, as she and Marc take their usual seats at their usual table. Uriah, Violet, Sassy and the Amity boy all start clapping for her, and she playfully bows in her seat. The dark-haired girl notices that their table is one short of a regular occupant.

"Where's Todd?" she inquires, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion. He was always here, sitting right next to Violet. They were always here before her and Marc.

She noticed the expression on Violet's face, when the purple-haired girl's gaze fell on the table. "He's in the dorm. He's low, Lia," she informed the Candor girl. "He should make it, but his pride is hurt, ya' know?"

The dark-haired girl nods, in understanding, worried for her green-haired friend. She picked over her salad, eating only the tomatos and small pieces of cheese that were stuck between the wilted pieces of discolored lettuce.

"This is disgusting," she asserted, as she pushed the brown-tinged greens around with her fork.

"I know, right?" Uriah chirped, throwing a tomato at the amber-eyed girl. "Hey, so did you know our parents are coming after lunch? It's Visitin' Day, ya'll!"

Everyone laughed at the silly, darker-skinned boy; everyone, except for Lia. Marc noticed, and nudged her in the side, his own personal way of letting the dark-haired girl know that he was there for her.

Cordelia smiled softly at the big, Amity boy, and set her fork down with a sigh. "Violet, do you have some more of that positively depressing music? I need to know that somebody feels worse than I do."

The purple-haired girl raised her eyebrows; Lia hadn't told anyone besides Marc what had happened to her parents.

"Yeah," she answered, suspiciously, reaching down and digging through her black bag. Eventually, she pulled out a CD, labeled 'Welcome to My Life', and Lia had to admit, the handwritten script looked familar.

Violet placed the CD in the player, turning the volume up.

 _ **Do you ever feel like breaking down?**_

 _ **Do you ever feel out of place,**_

 _ **Like somehow you just don't belong**_

 _ **And no one understands you?**_

 _ **Do you ever wanna run away?**_

 _ **Do you lock yourself in your room**_

 _ **With the radio on turned up so loud**_

 _ **That no one hears your screaming?**_

 _ **No, you don't know what it's like**_

 _ **When nothing feels all right**_

 _ **You don't know what it's like**_

 _ **To be like me**_

 _ **To be hurt**_

 _ **To feel lost**_

 _ **To be left out in the dark**_

 _ **To be kicked when you're down**_

 _ **To feel like you've been pushed around**_

 _ **To be on the edge of breaking down**_  
 _ **And no one's there to save you**_

 _ **No, you don't know what it's like**_

 _ **Welcome to my life****_

"Oh god, turn it off!" Lia whines, covering her face with her hands. She knows her friends probably think she's just being playfully overdramatic, but she really can't take anymore. "It's too depressing, I think I'm just gonna go for a walk, yeah?"

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The former Candor girl ends up at the tattoo parlor, browsing through the many glass templets, while she listens to what she recognizes as another of the mystery musician's songs.

 _ **No one knows what it's like**_

 _ **To be the bad man**_

 _ **To be the sad man**_

 _ **Behind blue eyes**_

She gazes over several designs, before sighing, and going straight to big, burly Paul.

 _ **No one bites back as hard**_

 _ **On their anger**_

 _ **None of my pain and woe**_

 _ **Can show through**_

"Lia!" he exclaims, happily; an odd look for the tough-looking tattooist. "What can I do ya' for, today?"

"Hey Paul, I wanted to get a memorial tattoo," she explains, quietly, as she settles into the large, reclined metal chair. "I want two white roses, entertwined together on the back of my left shoulder, directly behind my heart."

"Okay," the large man sits in his chair, pulling a slate pencil from behind his ear and begins to sketch the design on a piece of transfer paper. He works quietly, his lips pursing every so often, as he scratches the pencil across the thin sheet of paper.

 _ **But my dreams they aren't as empty**_

 _ **As my conscience seems to be**_

 _ **I have hours, only lonely**_

 _ **My love is vengeance**_

 _ **That's never free**_

Finally, he holds it up for Cordelia to see, a wide grin on his hairy face. The dark-haired girl inspects the drawing, smiling at the image. "That's exactly what I saw in my head," she informs the large man, as she turns over, pulling her shirt up over her head.

She lays on her stomach, with her head turned to the side, while Paul prepares the ink, needles, and her skin, for the procedure. He rubs a clear, sticky substance over her desired placement area, massaging it into the skin, before wiping it clean with a damp rag.

"It's just to numb the area a bit," he explains, as he attaches the needle to the gun, and dips it into the charcoal-colored ink. He begins with the outline, the tiny, sharp pinpricks hurt, at first, but after a while Lia fell into a sort of trance.

 _ **No one knows what it's like**_

 _ **To be mistreated, to be defeated**_

 _ **Behind blue eyes**_

Maybe it was the lighting, or the music, or the overall hypnotic atmostphere of the parlor; whatever it was, the dark-haired girl nodded off to sleep.

 _ **No one knows what it's like**_

 _ **To be the bad man**_

 _ **To be the sad man**_

 _ **Behind blue eyes*****_

Paul didn't mind; it wouldn't have been the first time that a client had fallen asleep while he worked on them. Tattoos were a slow process, if you wanted a good end result. He finished the outline, and colored in with the white ink, before shading with different tones of light grey, and off-white.

Occasionally, Lia would let out a soft snore, and the burly man had to hold the needle away from her skin while he attempted to hold back the laughter. Eventually, he finished, and shook the girl's non-tattooed shoulder to wake her.

Cordelia leaned her head up off the chair, slightly, turning her neck towards Paul, and smiling softly when she realized that she had slept through the process.

"You wanna see it?" the large man asked, and the dark-haired girl nodded, immediately. She turned over, and sat up, stretching her arms out as she woke up the rest of the way. She winced when the action caused her skin to pull taut under her new tattooed shoulder.

Lia swung her legs over the side of the chair, hopping down, and accepted a hand-held mirror from Paul.

He pointed her to a full-length mirror, and she walked over, standing with her back facing the longer glass. She slowly held up the smaller mirror to catch the reflection from the larger mirror, and grinned when she saw the delicate-looking roses. One for her mom, and one for her dad. White for honesty, and openess. Entertwined, to symbolize their loving marriage, and teamwork to raise her, together.

"Thank you," she said, quietly, turning to Paul with a few tears running down her cheeks. "It's perfect."

The burly man, offered the Candor girl an awkward smile, informing her that the tattoo was on the house. Lia protested, but Paul insisted, and she finally gave up, thanking him one last time, before pulling her shirt back on, and exiting the parlor after he had bandaged her up.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Lia!" Sassy exclaimed when the dark-haired girl sat down at their table. "Where were you? I didn't see you in the Pit. Did your parents not come?"

Cordelia sighed, heavily, laying her head on the table. Marc noticed her distress and ran, what he thought, was a soothing hand over her back.

"Ow, shit!" Lia sat up quickly, wincing at the pain on her left shoulder blade. "Tender, Marc!"

"Sorry," he offered, awkwardly, blushing. "What did I do? What happened?"

The dark-haired girl offered a small smile, and slumped her shoulders. "No, it's okay. You didn't know," she says, waving her hand to dismiss the unnecessary apology. "I got a tattoo."

"Oh, I want to see!" Uriah exclaims, bouncing in his seat, while Violet and Sassy giggle at their crazy friend. "Seriously, let's see it, Lia."

The amber-eyed girl shares a wary glance with the Amity boy, and understanding lights his features.

"Guys, it could be personal, ya' know? Don't make her do that," he offered, attempting to help ease the awkward situation that the Candor girl was currently in.

"Aw, come on!" Uriah whines, and Sassy joins in with him, even going as far as to pout out their lips and begging. Lia sighs, in frustration, as she stands up and turns around. She pulls her shirt over her head, and rips off the bandage covering the artistic design.

"That's... that's beautiful, Lia. They would love it," Marc asserts, quietly, smiling up at the dark-haired girl. Sassy gives the Amity boy a confused expression, raising her eyebrows in questioning.

"It's for my parents. They... they died, recently," Cordelia informs her friends, as she pulls her shirt back down, covering her milky-white skin, once more. "I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?"

"Again?" Uriah asks, loudly, before Violet smacks the backside of his head. "Ow!"

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Eric leaned over the short, brick fencing that encircled the roof of the training area. He gazed up at the stars that littered the night sky, breathing in the chilly air that always fell over the city at night. The young leader, shifted his gaze to the ground below, swallowing thickly, as unwelcome memories made their way to the forefront of his mind.

He hated the person that he had become; a recluse, lonely and silent.

He remembered a time when he would've laughed at people like him; if there even was anybody else like him.

Now, he could barely stand to look in his bathroom mirror; he was disgusted with himself. The blonde sighed deeply, and glanced out over the city, the apocolyptic leftovers of a war from a time before he was born. The city was mostly in ruins, buildings toppled or crumbling, abandoned vehicles lining the streets. All the foliage overgrown, and choked by weeds, and the sparse wildlife ran free through empty streets.

He turned at the sound of the door opening, and closing, and was slightly surprised to see the Candor girl walk through.

Lia spotted the blue-eyed leader leaning over the edge of the roof, and she went to stand beside him, mimicking his posture. She could feel his gaze on her, but she didn't turn to look at him.

"I'm sorry I've asked you so many questions," she started, quietly, as she gazed out over the abandoned buildings. "I guess, I realize now that there's some things that are too painful to talk about."

 _"Well, this is unexpected."_

"And, I'm sorry for being a bitch, about everything," she finished, finally turning her head to meet his gaze. She noticed just how blue Eric's eyes were in the low flourescent lights that lined the outside of the training center. There were little silver flecks, that she realized was the reason they always seemed so cold; like ice, or crystal. But out on the roof, in the near-darkness, they appeared to be more like water, secrets swimming just below the surface.

Eric noticed the small, gold flecks in the amber eyes of the Candor girl, making them sparkle, like the stars in the sky. He didn't really know what to make of her apology; no one, with the exception of Lauryn, ever told him that they were sorry.  
This was a new obstacle for him, and he wasn't sure how to respond. So he didn't; he simply gazed into the dark-haired girls lovely, amber eyes.

 _"You have pretty eyes, Smart Mouth... Wait, what the fuck did I just think?"_

"You have pretty eyes," Lia informs the blonde, matter-of-factly, not realizing how awkward she made the young leader feel by her very Candor statement. He raised a pierced eyebrow at the fall of her words, and the dark-haired girl grinned at him.

"It's really nice up here, do you come up here often?" she inquired, turning her eyes to scan over the ruined city, once again. It really was peaceful on the roof, and quiet, though that could just have been because of the lack of words on a certain leader's part.

Eric nodded, when she glanced back over to him, briefly, to find him staring at her. She felt her cheeks redden, and a small smile made it's way to her face, when he turned away, quickly. She knew, that he knew, that he'd been caught staring at her.

The blonde cursed himself, inwardly, for turning away. If he'd simply kept staring at her, she probably wouldn't have thought anything of it.

 _"What the fuck is going on with me?"_

Cordelia caught sight of that sideways, Y-shaped scar again, and before she could stop herself, she reached her hand up, running her fingertips over the white scar tissure. Eric flinched, and she pulled her hand away quickly, muttering an apology under her breath, as she felt her face turn a deep crimson.

She turned an even deeper shade of red, when she felt the young leader glide his thumb over the drying tear trails that she didn't even know were on her cheeks.

 _"You're doing something to me, Smart Mouth."_

"Um... so," Lia gulped, nervously, as she caught Eric's gaze, once more. She realized, in that moment, that she was attracted to her instructor.

The young leader tucked a stray strand of dark-brown, almost black, hair behind the Candor girl's ear. Realizing what he was doing, he quickly returned to his previous position of leaning over the brick barrier on the edge of the roof.

Cordelia didn't know what to make of what had just transpired, but she didn't feel as awkward as she had only moments ago. They stood there, together, gazing out at the city and the stars overhead. Lia occasionally made random comments about training, or her parents, while Eric simply offered a simple smile, or a nod.

Eventually, the dark-haired girl began to yawn, emotionally exhausted from the long day, and she turned to say goodnight to the Dauntless leader.

She surprised herself when she stood on her tip toes, and kissed his cheek, before offering a soft, "Goodnight, Eric," and she left him standing there, on the roof, alone.

The young leader's eyes went wide, and he raised his hand to feel his cheek, where it felt tingly from the unexpected contact.

 _"What are you doing to me?"_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Lia made her way through the dark corridors at a comfortable stride; she felt happier, somehow, after spending time on the rooftop with Eric. She didn't know what had possessed her to kiss him, but she couldn't take it back now. She smiled to herself, glad that she had at least apologized to him for being an ass. She was still curious as to why he didn't speak, but she knew that he had his reasons, whatever they may be.

She hardly paid any attention to where she was going, and she ended up in a part of the compound that she hadn't been to, before. She stopped in the narrow corridor, glancing around at her surroundings. She knew she would have to try and find her way back to the transfer dorms, but she didn't even know where to start.

"Hey, Lia!" The dark-haired girl turned towards the voice that called her name, to be met with Donnie, Grey, and Todd. She sighed in relief at the sight of her green-haired friend, and smiled in spite of her current predicament.

"Todd! I've been so worried about you! Vi said you- Oof!" Cordelia doubled over, in pain, from the harsh blow to her stomach. She didn't know which of the boys it had come from, but as they all forced her to the ground, she guessed it didn't matter who threw the first punch.

"Stop! Todd, what are you doing!" Lia cried out in pain, and confusion, as her friend held her down. She wriggled in their iron hold, trying to break free, but it was three against one.

One of the boys had tied her wrists together, behind her back, and another boy had bound her ankles. They hauled her up, as one, carrying her struggling form through the corridor. "What are you doing?! Where are you taking me?! Put me down!" Lia screamed, as she continued to thrash around, even though she was bound. Donnie, the larger, more muscular of the three boys, ordered for Todd to shut the Candor up. The green-haired boy obliged by sending a sharp elbow to the girl's temple, and she fell unconscious.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Eric was walking through the halls on the way to his apartment, when he heard voices, just below him. "Take a left... No... We... the Chasm, hurry up!"

The young leader peaked over the edge of the railing, looking down to see three initiates carrying a bound, and unconscious Lia. He felt a surge of anger rush through his veins, and he quickly, and stealthily made his way to the Chasm, by way of a shortcut.

The shortened path brought him to the cavernous area before the ill-intentioned initiates arrived, and he waited for them to come, hiding in a crevice at the entrance that they would be using.

Soon, they came dragging the dark-haired girl in, about to step out onto the rail. Eric stepped out first, with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring daggers at the initiates with his angry, icy-blue orbs.

"Oh, shit," Todd said, his voice shaking, slightly. He began to sweat profusely, knowing that he, and his new Dauntless-born friends had just been caught attempting to murder a fellow initiate; the top-ranked initiate, at that.

"Oh, shit, nothin'," Donnie scoffed, "He's just one man, there's three of us. Take him out!" Grey and Todd quickly dropped Lia to the ground, her skull making a sickening, cracking sound against the stone floor. This only caused an increase to the blonde leader's rage.  
The three boys tried to charge him at once, but Eric easily settled into attack mode, knocking Donnie into the side of the wall, where his head caused a second cracking sound. He then threw an uppercut to Grey's nose, the bone sliding into his skull, and he was dead, instantly.

Todd was more hesitant, and rather than be made factionless, or killed by his instructor, he dove past Eric, and threw himself over the rail of the Chasm, screaming as he fell into the violent river below.

Eric's eyes were still wide with rage, when he heard a small groan. He turned around quickly, dropping to his knees to cut the bindings from Lia's hands and feet.

Cordelia slowly opened her eyes, her vision blurry, as she felt a tugging on her wrists before they were finally free. She felt her hair being parted, and warm hands feeling around her scalp.

The young leader scooped the dark-haired girl up into his arms, satisfied that at least there was no blood, though, there was a nasty knot on her head.

He carried her swiftly to Lauryn's appartment, placing the Candor girl on the red-head's couch, and furiously attempted to write a note to explain the situation. His hands were shaking, furiously, but he was able to get the job done.

Eric ordered for the green-eyed woman not to let Lia out of her sight, until this mess was taken care of, and notified her that he would send a medic to check over the dark-haired girl. The blonde leader took one last glance at the, once again, unconscious girl, before making a swift exit.

 _ ****Welcome to My Life - Simple Plan**_

 _ *****Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit**_


	8. Chapter Seven - Instigate

**Author's Note:**

Alright guys, big shoutout to kmcracerx, RisughXD, and mona-rose, you guys are the best! I love your reviews:) So, I think you guys are really going to like this chapter... ;) here ya' go! And please, if you haven't already, don't forget to fave/follow/review, it makes me so happy :D xoxoxo

After Eric had left Lia in Lauryn's capable hands, he sprinted to Four's apartment, just down the hall. He banged on the door, and the brown-haired intelligence officer swung the door open, in annoyance. When he took in the sight of the blonde leader before him, however, his eyes grew wide.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he demanded, stepping out into the hall, scrutinizing the blood spattered over the blue-eyed man's clothing, and hands. Eric quickly pulled out his pad and pen, scratching the message with an urgency, before holding the slip up for the brown-haired man to take.

Four's honey-brown orbs scanned the words, quickly, his confused expression morphing into anger. "Go."

The two men ran to the Chasm, to find Donnie still unconscious on the ground. The brown-haired man knelt down, placing two fingers to the boy's jugular, checking for his pulse. The expression he wore when he did find a heartbeat, could only be described as dissapointment.

"Can't believe you didn't kill this one, too," the brown-haired instructor commented, as Eric rolled his eyes. Eric had only killed Grey; not intentionally, but not purely by accident, either. Todd had killed himself.

 _"Cowards."_

"Let's get him to the infirmary. We'll cuff him to the bed, and formally arrest him when he wakes up. I'll send a team to clean up the rest of this mess."

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"I won't be able to make a definitive diagnosis until she wakes up."

Lauryn sighed as the older, grey-haired man lifted Cordelia's eyelids, shining a small, but bright, light across her unresponsive pupils.

"I think we need to move her to the infirmary, at least until she regains consciousness," he continued, clicking the light off, and placing it in his medical bag.

"I'm sure Eric and Four will be back soon, Cobra," the red-head stated, crossing an arm over her chest, and placing her free hand to her forehead. This was definitely not how the green-eyed woman had envisioned spending the evening of her first day off.

"Speaking of Eric," the older man began, as he placed his tools back in his black bag. He didn't say anything else, he simply waited for a response from the red-head. Lauryn sighed, deeply, shaking her head. "Don't get me started on that asshole," she grumbled, in annoyance, as she moved to sit down in one of the two grey chairs placed across from the couch that the dark-haired girl rested on. "It's been over a year, now. You saw his face when you told him," the green-eyed woman closed her eyes, exhaling slowly, before continuing. "I still remember the last words he spoke," she laughed darkly, and sarcastically. "'This isn't happening'."

Cobra offered an apologetic smile, one that did not reach the corners of his slightly wrinkled eyes. "Just give him some time, Lauryn, I'm-."

"Time?" the red-head scoffed, crossing her legs, and leaning forward. "It's been over a year! How much time does he need? He may as well have died! He's fucking stupid-!"

Lauryn stopped her emotionally-fueled rant, immediately, when she heard someone clearing their throat, from behind her. She stood quickly, turning around to face the door, and saw Four, and Eric, standing just inside the doorway.

The brown-haired man gave the red-head an understanding expression, but Eric would not look at her.

"We need to get the initiate to the infirmary," the doctor informed the two men, scratching his tattooed neck, awkwardly. Cobra had been the physician to treat the young leader's injuries just over a year ago, and he had also had the displeasure of informing the blonde of the extent of those injuries.

Eric could not meet Lauryn's gaze; her words had been brutally painful. He quickly, and silently, walked over to the couch, bending down to scoop the dark-haired girl into his arms. She had a large, purple bruise forming on her temple, and she had long, red scratches running up her bare arms. Her smooth, milky-white skin was mottled with bruises and scratches. The blonde was unsettled at the sight.

 _"Why does this bother me as much as it does?"_

It wasn't the first time that lower-ranked initiates attempted to remove the first-ranked initiate from the competition, and it wouldn't be the last. The blue-eyed man didn't understand what it was about the Candor transfer that felt different.

The young leader turned to head out the door, training his gaze on the floor, so he didn't have to meet Lauryn's eyes.

The red-headed woman hurried to follow, placing her hand on his shoulder at the door. "Eric, I-," her words stuck in her throat, as the blonde shrugged away from her touch, quickly slamming the door shut behind him, with his foot.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Fuck."

Marc had dozed off, sitting upright, in the chair beside the bed that Lia occupied in the infirmary. He awoke when he heard the dark-haired girl curse. He scooted the plastic chair closer to the bed, a concerned frown etched over his pale, freckled features.  
"Lia? How are you feeling?" the worried Amity boy inquired, his eyes searching the other girl's amber orbs, scrutinizing her face. Cordelia attempted a small smile, but it rather resembled a grimace.

"Like shit, but I think I'll live," she groaned as she pulled herself up a bit, so that she was sitting up, slightly. "What happened to my clothes?" The dark-haired girl noticed that she was wearing a dark, grey gown. "Where are my clothes, Marc?!"

The ginger-haired boy blushed, and averted his eyes a bit. "They're under the bed. Eric got me up, he wrote me a note saying that you were here, and he walked me over."

The Amity boy cleared his throat before continuing. "They needed to make sure you had no other injuries, so they wanted you to wear that gown so they could examine you easier. Eric told the nurse that I was your boyfriend, so they asked me to change your clothes."

Lia's eyes went wide, her mouth falling open, slightly. "What? But-."

"I know," the larger boy interrupted, his cheeks a deep red. "I didn't say anything because I had to make sure you were okay, ya' know? I didn't want to leave until I knew you were gonna be alright."

"Thank you, Marc," the amber-eyed girl sighed, grateful for the other boy's kindness. "Ya' know, your Amity is showing."

The two initiates both chuckled at the dark-haired girl's statement.

"Can you hand me my pants?" she asked, hoping that what she needed was still in her pocket. Marc reached underneath her bed, and pulled out her jeans, which had been folded neatly, and handed them to his friend.

Cordelia began to frantically search the pockets, reaching her hand in each one, until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the crinkled, yellow piece of paper, sighing in relief.

"What's that?" the Amity boy inquired, his curiousity piqued. "Is that one of Eric's notes?" He raised an eyebrow when the other girl blushed, and nodded.

"Yeah," she said, unfolding the small note. "It's the note he wrote me when he let me attack him. It helps to read it, when I don't feel very brave."

The larger boy leaned over, kissing the dark-haired girl's forehead. "You are braver than me," he said, sincerity in his voice. Lia laughed, loudly, slightly shocking the ginger-haired Amity transfer. "What's so funny?'

"You said I was braver than you!" she responded, still giggling, as she pulled a stray strand of dark, brown hair out of her eyelashes.

A look of honest confusion came over Marc's face. "So, what's the funny part, then?"

His response caused the dark-haired girl to laugh even harder, the heart monitor beeping rapidly, as she laughed so hard she began to cry. "Oh, Marc, that's not saying much, but thank you anyway."

"Hey!" the Amity boy retorted, frowning, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The next day, Lia was released from the infirmary, leaving her only one more day of free time before the start of stage two of training.

She entered the Pit by herself, hearing loud, angry music blasting throughout the stone auditorium.

"There she is!" Sassy ran into the dark-haired girl, almost causing her to fall over, and pulled her into a tight, friendly hug. "I'm so glad you're okay! Come on, we're having a party!"

The blue-haired girl dragged Cordelia out into the sea of bodies, swaying to the music. "Hey, Judd! Play the new one again, for Lia!"

She turned back to the amber-eyed girl, leaning close, and spoke loudly into her ear. "It came in last night! It's our mystery musician!"

 _ **Wake in a sweat again**_

 _ **Another day's been laid to waste**_

 _ **In my disgrace**_

 _ **Stuck in my head again**_

 _ **Feels like I'll never leave this place**_

 _ **There's no escape**_

 _ **I'm my own worst enemy**_

 _ **I've given up**_

 _ **I'm sick of feeling**_

 _ **Is there nothing you can say?**_

 _ **Take this all away**_

 _ **I'm suffocating**_

 _ **Tell me what the fuck is wrong**_

 _ **With me!**_

Sassy forced the Candor transfer to dance with her, as they listened to the music; jumping, and spinning, as they enjoyed their next to last day of vacation.

 _ **I don't know what to take**_

 _ **Thought I was focused but I'm scared**_

 _ **I'm not prepared**_

 _ **I hyperventilate**_

 _ **Looking for help somehow somewhere**_

 _ **And no one cares**_

 _ **I'm my own worst enemy**_

The young, blonde leader watched the joyous riot from above, leaning over the metal railing. Everyone else in the Pit was laughing, having a good time, and getting lost in the music. This song had an entirely different meaning, for him, though. His mind drifted to Lauryn's words the other night...

 _"It's been over a year! How much time does he need? He may as well have died! He's fucking stupid!"_

Lia looked carefree, twirling and jumping around; he envied her happiness. He couldn't help the small smile that came to his face when he thought about their conversation on the roof of the training center; if it could be called a conversation.

 _ **I've given up**_

 _ **I'm sick of feeling**_

 _ **Is there nothing you can say**_

 _ **Take this all away**_

 _ **I'm suffocating**_

 _ **Tell me what the fuck is wrong**_

 _ **With me!**_

 _ **Goddddddddd!**_

"Hey! There's Eric! You should go talk to him!" Sassy yelled, straining to be heard over the blaring music. Lia turned around, and looked up, to where the blue-haired girl had been pointing. She spotted the blonde two floors up, leaning over the rail. He was staring at her, and turned his head away, quickly.

Cordelia grinned, realizing that this was the second time that she had caught him staring at her. She made her way to the stairs, climbing slowly, and gripping the rail firmly.

 _ **Put me out of my misery**_

 _ **Put me out of my misery**_

 _ **Put me out of my**_

 _ **Put me out of my fucking misery!****_

When Eric turned his gaze back to the frantic crowd, Lia was gone. He frowned, dissapointed, and concerned.

"Can I talk to you?!"

The blonde spun around, coming face to face with the dark-haired girl. She offered him a small smile, leaning closer so she didn't have to yell quite as loud. "Can we go somewhere, to talk?"

Eric nodded, slowly, and gestured for her to follow him. The young leader led her up a flight of stairs, and down a short corridor, stopping outside of his apartment. He unlocked the door, stepping aside for the younger girl to enter.

Lia glanced around the room; it was clean, for the most part. There were a few, dirty coffee cups in the sink, there were a few articles of clothing laid across different pieces of furniture, and there were several, wadded up, pieces of white paper strewn across the coffee table in front of his couch. The dark-haired girl noticed a light-colored, acoustic guitar leaned up against a chair, by a door to another room, and she was intrigued.

Eric moved past her, quickly gathering up the wadded pieces of paper, and he dumped them into a waste basket. The blonde gestured for her to sit down, and he joined her on the opposite end of the couch.

"So," Lia started, turning to face the blue-eyed leader, nervously. "I wanted to thank you, for getting my friend to sit with me while I was in the infirmary."

 _"Friend? Amity's just her friend?"_

"And," the dark-haired girl fidgetted awkwardly in her seat, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. "I was wondering if you would possibly be able to tell me what happened... the other night?"

Eric turned his gaze to the floor, leaning forward to clasp his hands together, and resting his elbows on his knees.

 _"Ah, fuck."_

The blonde nodded, chewing on his bottom lip, as he did so.

The amber-eyed girl inched closer to the young leader, raising an eyebrow, and waited patiently; as patiently as a Candor was able.

The blue-eyed instructor finally grabbed the white tablet off the coffee table, and pulled his pen out of his back pocket: What do you remember?

Cordelia furrowed her brow, glancing between his icy-blue eyes, and the note in her hand. "I was walking back to the dorm... I was dis-, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and I got lost. I was trying to find my way back when I saw Donnie, Grey, and Todd..." The former Candor took a deep breath, remembering how her friend had attacked her.

"One of them punched me, and then they tied me up. I tried to get away, I swear! I was kicking, and screaming at them, and then-, and then-!" The young leader placed his hand on her shoulder, gently, while the dark-haired girl forced herself to calm down.

"I don't remember anything after that," she finished, quietly, looking up into the blonde leader's eyes. The amber-eyed girl scrutinized Eric's expression; he appeared to be torn about how much of the story to tell her. "Just tell me the truth; I'm used to it."

That got a small smirk out of the blonde. He started to write, covering more, and more of the page with green ink. Lia attempted to catch a glimpse of what he was writing, but, every time she did, he shifted the paper further away. The dark-haired girl noticed how, at times, he appeared angry. Whether he was angry at her, or not, was unclear.

Eventually, he finished, and handed her the whole tablet, an unreadable expression on his face.

Cordelia read the words that he had written, gripping the tablet tightly, with shaking hands. When she got to the bottom of the page, and read about how Todd had jumped into the churning river below the Chasm, she started shaking her head.

Eric watched her expressions change, as she read over the events of the night before last; anger, shock, and hurt, among them. She was trembling, and shaking her head back, and forth. He knew she was about to lose it.

"No! He jumped?!" she screamed, as she placed her head in her hands, and began sobbing. "He was my friend! He's Violet's boyfriend! What if she blames me?! What if all my other friends blame me?! He's dead! He's really fucking dead!"

She threw herself at the young leader, wrapping her arms around his waist, needing something to cling to. She didn't care if he minded, or not; she needed a shoulder to cry on, and he was going to be it.

Eric's eyes went wide, when the dark-haired girl grabbed onto him; this, he was not expecting.

 _"Um... Okay."_

He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, patting her back gently, and let her cry it out. The blonde was uncomfortable, to say the least; he wasn't a hugging kind of guy.

Eventually, Lia calmed down a bit, though she still couldn't contain the occasional sob, or hiccup.

After several, tension-filled moments, the former Candor realized that her hands were still fisted into her instructor's shirt, and her head was leaned against his chest. She let go immediately, moving back a bit, her cheeks burning red.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered, barely loud enough for the young leader to hear. "I probably got snot, and shit all over your shirt." She raised her eyes to look at the blonde's face, and he threw her an amused grin. She giggled, in spite of the emotional turmoil she was going through.

Eric quickly scribbled another note, and handed it to the dark-haired girl: I have more than one shirt, Lia.

This caused Cordelia to chuckle again, while Eric smirked at her, in amusement. The blonde was grateful that they had veered off of the previous subject; he honestly had enough to be depressed about. He held up a finger, signifying that he needed a moment, and when Lia nodded, he stood from the couch.

The amber-eyed girl watched him walk down the hall, towards what she guessed was the young leader's bedroom, pulling his shirt over his head as he went.

He turned around at the door, with a wicked smirk on his face, before entering the room.

 _"See something you like, Smart Mouth?"_

Lia knew that it would have only been a matter of time before she got caught staring, as well; it just happened to be that night.

Eric emerged a few moments later, wearing a clean, white tshirt, and the dark-haired girl was still blushing at having been caught, this time.

The blonde took his previous seat, though, maybe a few inches closer to the Candor transfer, and wrote out another note, hesitantly: You're gonna be okay, Lia. You're stronger than you think you are. I don't really say shit like this, so trust me.

The amber-eyed girl looked up from the note, into the crystal-blue orbs of her instructor, her eyes searching his. "I do trust you," she replied, surprised that she found her words to be true; she didn't know why, but she really did trust the blue-eyed man. She noticed the way Eric's eyes lit up at her admission, the way his tongue darted out to moisten his slightly chapped lips.

The dark-haired girl leaned in, slowly, towards the young, blonde leader, her long eyelashes fluttering shut.

The blue-eyed man found himself leaning in, as well, his gaze on Cordelia's pink, full lips. He panicked when they were only centimeters apart, and he could feel her warm breath against his chin.

 _"What am I doing?!"_

The blonde jumped back, his eyes wide, as the reality of what they almost did sunk in. Lia was an initiate; he was her instructor. Besides the fact that there were laws preventing him from having relations with his initiates, there was the fact, in his mind, that she deserved better than him.

"Oh my god," the dark-haired girl muttered, covering her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry! I-, I-..." Cordelia stood, quickly, and sprinted out the door, leaving the young leader in his apartment.

Eric shoved the coffee table over, kicking the piece of furniture, repeatedly.

 _"Fuck!"_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Lia was embarrassed, and ashamed, and she couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. She had never been good with rejection, but, this felt worse than she could've imagined. She felt so stupid that she had mistaken Eric's kindness for something more.

The dark-haired girl hurried through the corridor's, bypassing the Pit, and made her way to the rooftop of the training center. There was no one else up there, so she settled against the wall, gazing at the stars with disdain while the tears continued to leak from her puffy, amber eyes.

She almost jumped out of her skin, when none other than Eric, skidded to a stop in front of her. She stared at her instructor with wide eyes, watching as he bent down with his hands on his knees, attempting to catch his breath.

The blonde had, only momentarily, hesitated, before running after Cordelia. He didn't know why, but he strongly felt that owed the former Candor some sort of an explanation, and an apology. His breathing now regulated, the blue-eyed leader felt in his pocket for his pad and pen, only to find that there was no pad and pen.

 _"Shit! Seriously?!"_

Eric had forgotten the tools necessary for his form of communication; now he was going to look like even more of an asshole.

"What are you doing here?" Lia asked, small traces of venom laced throughout her words, as she glared at him. "Don't you have other _initiates_ to lead on? You like using the tall, dark and silent thing, don't you? That how you pick up girls? Being a good listener?"

The young leader rolled his eyes, hating himself for leaving his writing tools. He shook his head to answer her questions, but she didn't pay any attention.

The dark-haired girl stood, crossing her arms over her chest as she scoffed. "While we're on that subject, let's talk about what a great _listener_ you are..."

The blue-eyed man found himself growing annoyed, and angry, at the Candor girl's rant, tightening his jaw, and fixing her pacing figure with an icy glare.

"...You must get off on my problems, huh? Listening to all my pitiful little feelings..."

Eric clenched his fists so hard, his knuckles were turning white.

"... and you must be a real masochist, too! Letting an _initiate_ beat you to the ground..."

 _"You can stop talking any day now, Smart Mouth."_

"... Oh! And I guess you're a sadist, as well, huh? Slapping an _initiate_ because she's curious..."

 _"Shut up, already!"_

"... about why, if you're not mute, you choose not to speak to her! What the fuck is that about?! I mean..."

 _"Please, just shut the fuck up..."_

"... really? Did the little attack on your patrol fuck with your mind that much? You got scared, huh? Did you piss your pants, too? Do you cry at night? Do you curl up in a little ball, and-."

"F- f- fucking sh- shut up al- already!" Eric screamed, his eyes going wide in horror, as he realized what he had just done.

 _ ****Given Up - Linkin Park**_


	9. Chapter Eight - Out in the Open

**Author's Note:**

GIANT shoutout to RisughXD, JohnnyStormsGirl, Lauren, mrsbishop21, Feigningintrest, zammy156, EvieLyn, mona-rose, kmcracerx, Sasha, interdictum in aeternum, and murmelinchen (LOVE YOU MURMY!). Gosh, I can't believe I've gotten so many reviews and followers! You guys flatter me! And make me so very happy to boot :) I actually danced around the kitchen with my little boy earlier today when I saw that I had passed 50 reviews! That's a lot for me:) And 36 followers! Okay, I hope I can continue to deliver for you guys, so here's the next chapter; I hope ya'll enjoy:) xoxo

Lia stared at the blue-eyed man in front of her, with her eyes wide, and her lips parted, in shock. She thought that maybe he would end up slapping her, again, to put a stop to her insulting accusations; she didn't expect him to scream at her.

 _"What the actual fuck have I done?"_

Eric began backing away, slowly, about to make a run for the stairs, but the dark-haired girl grabbed his wrist, gently.

"Don't go," she pleaded, softly, feeling an immense sense of guilt, and shame, at her previous comments. "Please... Sit with me?" Cordelia moved back to her spot on the floor of the roof, leaning back against the wall, and pulled the blonde leader down beside her. She could feel her instructor trembling, whether from rage, or fear, she couldn't be certain.

Eric desperately tried to control his nerves, rubbing his face with his hands, and turning his gaze to the clear, night sky. He couldn't believe that he had lost control so easily, after more than a year of silence. The young leader could feel the amber-eyed girl's gaze, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her; he was too ashamed of himself.

Lia cleared her throat, quietly, and nudged the blonde with her elbow. "So," she began, forcing a small smile on her face. "I didn't expect you to have a deep voice; I like it."

Eric scoffed, incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief; this Candor girl was ridiculous. "Y- y- you c- can't be, can't be s- s- serious."

"Oh, I'm dead serious," Lia stated, matter-of-factly. "I don't lie; Candor, remember?" When the young leader didn't say anything else, she continued. "So... that's why you don't talk to anybody. How did it happen?"

The blue-eyed man sighed, deeply, and ran a hand through his hair, in frustration. _"Well, why the fuck not, I guess."_

"I- It was o- over, over a y- y- year ago, an- an- and I- I- I was-, th- th- there w- was a, was a b- b- bunch of f- f- faction- factionless riot- rioting, an- an- and some sh- sh- shit, some shit w- w- went d- down," Eric released a long, shaky breath, his lower lip quivering. Not only had he not spoken to anyone in over a year, but he hadn't heard his own speaking voice in as long; the severity of his affliction becoming more apparent with each word that he uttered.

Cordelia remained silent, her heart aching for the young leader, while she waited patiently for him to continue. She scooted closer to her instructor, when Eric hesitated, and placed a comforting hand on his knee.

The blonde finally met the dark-haired girl's gentle gaze, his own icy-blue orbs glistening with unshed tears of shame.

When Eric began speaking again, Lia noticed how the corner of his right eye twitched, and that he would blink, rapidly, while talking.

"L- l- long s- story sh- sh- short, I- I- I f- fell, I fell t- t- two st- stories f- f- from a, from a b- b- building. L- l- landed o- on a, on a c- c- car, a car," he pointed to the white, sideways, Y-shaped scar on the left side of his head. "B- b- brain, brain d- d- damage; l- l- long w- w- words, I- I- I don't th- th- think, I don't think I c- c- can... g- get th- th- them, get them o- out. F- f- fuck..."

The young leader groaned, and averted his gaze from the dark-haired girl, detesting his struggle; he abhored the constant stammering, and repitition of his words. Eric felt his entire body shaking, involuntarily, with a mixture of self-loathing, and anxiety.

"M- m- my s- stut- stutter m- makes me, makes me s- s- sound s- slow, b- b- but I'm, but I'm n- not."

Lia had listened intently, a lump forming in her throat, as the blonde strained to tell her his story. She knew this had to be a crucial juncture for the blue-eyed instructor. The dark-haired girl could tell, from the way he clenched his jaw, that Eric was struggling to keep his emotions under control. She opened her mouth to speak, but the blonde beat her to it.

"Th- th- that w- was one, was one of th- the r- r- reasons I- I- I f- f- freaked o- out w- when you, when you t- t- tried to k- k- k- kiss, kiss me." The blue-eyed man turned to face Cordelia, once again, his icy-blue orbs swimming with disenchantment. "I- I- I'm not, I'm not g- good en- en- enough for y- y- you; I- I'm n- not g- g- good en- enough f- f- for an- any- anyone, for anyone. I- I'm def- def- defective, I'm defective."

The dark-haired girl forced herself to, momentarily, forget his demoralizing statement; opting to address his idiotic reasoning later in their conversation. "And what would the other reasons be?"

Eric sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the floor, when his posterior started to go numb. "Y- y- you're s- still an, still an in- in- intiate, an- and I- I- I'm y- your in- ins- instructor, n- not t- to m- m- mention, y- your l- l- leader, your leader. I- It's against th- the l- l- law, L- l- lia, Lia."

Cordelia couldn't help but smile when the slightly older man said her name; she liked the way it sounded, stutter and all. The amber-eyed girl scooted even closer to her instructor, their arms and knees touching. "Why do feel like you're defective?"

The young leader scoffed, an aporetic expression crossing his defined features. "M- my st- st- stut-, my stutter. D- d- duh." Lia couldn't help the laugh that escaped from her throat; the way he had said 'duh', with a slight slur, was exceptionally humorous.

Eric drew his mouth into a thin line, his brow furrowing with hurt, and attempted to stand; he didn't plan on sticking around to be humiliated, more than he already felt.

"Wait! Wait. I'm sorry," Lia apologized, quickly, offering a small smile as the blonde sat back down. "I just mean, do you realize how incredibily ridiculous you sound?" That was clearly the wrong way to word her explanation, judging by the glare that the young leader graced her with.

"A- a- actually, y- yeah. I- I- I do. I- I st- stut- stutter, I stutter, I- I- I'm n- not, d- d- deaf."

"That is completely not what I meant," Lia sighed, rolling her eyes at the blue-eyed man. "I meant the fact that you think you're defective because you have a speech impediment. I actually really like the way you talk..." Cordelia blushed, averting her eyes momentarily, before meeting Eric's crystal-blue orbs, once again. "I could listen to you talk all day."

The blonde raised an eyebrow, in confusion; he didn't understand how she could truly mean that. It was the part of himself that he hated most, and here was this Candor transfer telling him that she liked his stutter.

"You already know that I'm attracted to you," Lia stated, her face reddening all the more. "This just makes me even more attracted to you."

Eric was taken aback at her candidness; he almost didn't believe her, save for the sincerity in her voice, and the scarlet color of her cheeks.

"Eric?"

The two turned, in sync, at the sound of Lauryn's voice, the red-head raising a quizzical eyebrow. "What are you guys doing up here?"

The young leader turned back to Cordelia, shaking his head, willing her not to say anything to the Dauntless-born instructor. The dark-haired girl smiled at him, gazing into his eyes while she addressed the green-eyed woman.

"Just stargazing," she replied, and stood, holding out a hand for Eric to take. The blonde stared at the offered hand, momentarily, before accepting it. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" she whispered into his ear, before taking her leave.

Lauryn had watched all this with an odd expression; she felt like she was missing something big. "What the hell was that about?"

 _"Wouldn't you like to know."_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Where were you last night?" Marc inquired, while lacing his black, combat boots. "I saw you dancing with Sassy, and when I got over there, you were already gone."

The dark-haired girl had to fight back the grin that threatened to pop on her face, forcing her features to maintain their usual, void expression. "I just needed some time alone," she replied, glad that it wasn't entirely a lie. She was so sad for what Eric had gone through, what he _was_ going through, and yet, she was oddly excited that he had opened up to her.

Lia knew that the conversation they had on the roof, the night before, had to have been a huge step for him; one that he didn't seem comfortable with, to say the least.

"So, did you dance with Sassy?" she joked, smirking as she tied her long, dark hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. When she was met with silence on the Amity boy's part, she turned to look at him. The ginger-haired transfer had turned the deepest shade of ruby red.

"Marc, did you do you more than dance?" Cordelia pressed, her hands paused in her hair, as her eyes widened, even more, when the other boy failed to reply, yet again.

"Oh my god! What did you two do?!" she squealed, releasing the band around her hair, the silky strands falling loosely over her shoulders. She wouldn't have expected the quiet, ginger-haired boy to make a move; he was so shy.

"She kissed me..." Marc replied, sheepishly, slightly shrugging his shoulders. Cordelia thought that he looked so cute, and innocent. "And then we made out in the middle of the Pit."

The amber-eyed girl started jumping up, and down, unable to contain the giddy feeling of excitement for her friend. "Oh my god!"

"Okay! Okay, calm down!" the Amity boy pleaded, feeling awkward discussing his love life. "Let's just go get breakfast, already."

"Fine, fine," Lia conceded, still grinning goofily, as she reached over to pinch Marc's freckled cheeks.

The two initiates made their way to the dining hall, quickly finding their table, and slid onto the bench with their friends. The dark-haired girl noticed that Marc sat next to the blue-haired girl; he really couldn't have gotten much closer to her.

"Hey you!" Sassy exclaimed, leaning over, and laying her head, briefly, on the large Amity boy's shoulder. Marc smiled, and kissed her head, before filling his plate with eggs, and toast. "And hey, you," the blue-haired girl directed to Cordelia, with a sly smirk on her face. "I didn't see you come back, after you left with- Ow!" Sassy bent down, rubbing her shin furiously, to try and alleviate the pain. "Why did you kick me?"

"Please shut up," the dark-haired girl pleaded, through gritted teeth, as she tried to convey her wishes with her eyes, and the tilt of her head.

"So, have you guys seen Todd? He hasn't been in the dorm for days; I'm starting to get really worried," Violet frowned, chewing her lip, and staring at the untouched plate of food in front of her. "I just don't understand why he hasn't at least come to talk to me, ya' know?"

Cordelia instantly lost her appetite.

"N- no," she responded, shaking her head, and refusing to meet the purple-haired girl's gaze. _"I should have skipped breakfast."_

"Well," Violet sighed, picking up her fork, and pushing the fluffy, scrambled eggs around her plate. "If you guys run into him, tell him I need to talk to him; it's kinda urgent."

"Yeah, definitely," the amber-eyed girl replied, a little too quickly, and her friends looked at her, in suspicion. "I'm not really feeling well, guys, I think I'm gonna go lay back down."

"Sit your ass back down, Candor," Uriah ordered, crunching loudly on his slightly burnt toast. "You've been avoiding us like were a disease, or something. We've missed you."

Lia smiled at the slightly darker-skinned boy, sliding back into her seat. "Awe, I've missed you too, Uri. There's just been a lot going on the last few days."

"Yeah, it would actually be really nice to know what exactly has been going on," Sassy piped up, frowning at the dark-haired girl. "You just disappear, and then show up during a party? What the hell, Lia?"

"Yeah, I agree," Violet said, crossing her arms over her chest, and leaning forward, with an expectant expression on her face.

Cordelia sighed, deeply; she didn't want to lie, but she couldn't tell them the whole truth, either. "Look guys... with Visiting Day just a few days ago, things have been really hard, alright? You all got to see your parents, right? Well, guess what? Mine are dead, okay? So get off my fucking case! If I want to disappear, I'll fucking disappear!" she didn't realize that she had started crying, until she also realized that she was stood up, leaning on her hands against the edge of the table. While the more recent event of the attack only a few days ago was fresh on her mind, the grief that she had experienced on Visiting day was still an open wound, as well.

Her friends had fallen quiet, all of them training their eyes on the table in front of them. The dark-haired girl growled, though it sounded more like a whimper, and spun around, stalking out of the cafeteria.

She made her way to the Pit, glancing through the open doors of the many different shops in the compound. She stopped outside of the music store, remembering that Violet told her father ran the shop.

She walked inside, glancing around at the rows of shelving that held hundreds, and hundreds of CDs.

"Can I help you find something?"

Lia turned around to find an older man, probably in his forties, smiling down at her. She could tell that this was her friend's father; Violet had clearly gotten her tall, thin stature from this man.

"I don't thi-... Actually, yeah," the dark-haired girl changed her mind, a thoughtful expression on her milky-white face. "Vi has been playing music in the cafeteria by a mystery musician. Where can I find some of his CDs?"

"Oh, you know my daughter?" he asked, a pleasant smile on his slightly rough, and wrinkling features, as he held out his hand. "I'm Judd."

Cordelia forced a smile to her face, as well, and shook the offered hand. "Lia."

"Well, Lia, they're right here, actually," Judd turned around, and stepped to the side for the amber-eyed girl to browse. "You can listen to them over there," he continued, pointing to a large CD player sat on a counter near the back of the shop. "Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" And with that, he went back to sorting through boxes behind the front counter.

Cordelia flipped through the selection; there were more than she would have expected. She found the recordings of the songs that she had already heard, and several that she never had. Lia decided to check out a CD labeled 'Pages', and one labeled 'The Sound of Silence'.

She walked over to the CD player, removing the first one from the paper pocket, placing the overly-large headphones over her ears.

 _ **What happens to a man when**_

 _ **He spills his heart on a page and**_

 _ **He watches words flow away then**_

 _ **His feelings lie on the page alone**_

 _ **They're waiting**_

 _ **For someone who cares to read them**_

 _ **To open their eyes to see them**_

 _ **To see if they can make his thoughts their own**_

 _ **To find out that maybe your life's not perfect**_  
 _ **Maybe it's not worth what he gives away**_

 _ **You can see that this broken soul is bleeding**_

 _ **So you condede your feelings inside yourself**_

 _ **And wander through my heart**_

 _ **Letting you see through me**_

 _ **Now only consumes me**_

 _ **Forget your pain, watch me fall apart****_

Lia paused the CD, removing it from the player, and placed it back in the case. She put the next one in, pressing the 'play' button, and turning the volume up a bit, when she heard how quiet this one was.

 _ **Hello darkness, my old friend**_

 _ **I've come to talk with you again**_

 _ **Because a vision softly creeping**_

 _ **Left its seeds while I was sleeping**_

 _ **And the vision that was planted in my brain**_

 _ **Still remains**_

 _ **Within the sound of silence**_

The dark-haired girl had closed her eyes, swaying along with the melancholy notes.

 _ **In restless dreams I walked alone**_

 _ **Down narrow streets of cobblestone**_

 _ **'Neath the halo of a street lamp**_

 _ **I turned my collar to the cold and damp**_

 _ **When my eyes were stabbed**_

 _ **By the flash of a neon light**_

 _ **That split the night**_

 _ **And touched the sound of silence**_

The former Candor transfer had fallen into a trance, the low drum beats, and slight reverb of the guitar echoing around in her brain.

 _ **And in the naked light I saw**_

 _ **Ten thousand people, maybe more**_

 _ **People talking without speaking**_

 _ **People hearing without listening**_

 _ **People writing songs**_

 _ **That voices never share**_

 _ **And no one dares**_

 _ **Disturb the sound of silence**_

 _ **"Fools," said I, "You do not know**_

 _ **Silence like a cancer grows**_

 _ **Hear my-." *****_

The headphones were suddenly pulled off of Lia's head, and she spun around quickly, startled out of her hypnotised state of mind. "What the fuck, Marc?! You tryna give me a heart attack?!"

"Sorry," the larger, Amity boy mumbled. "I just wanted to check on you."

The amber-eyed girl sighed, a small, but genuine, smile creeping over her lips. "I'm fine, Marc," she said, nudging the ginger-haired boy, playfully. "I guess I just lost it, earlier, and needed to cool off. Sorry I yelled at you."

"You can yell at me whenever it makes you feel better," the other boy replied, pulling the smaller girl in for a warm, friendly embrace. "The guys feel really bad, by the way. They told me to tell you that they were sorry, and please don't hate them."

Cordelia giggled, pushing the freckled boy away from her. "They're forgiven, and I don't hate them. Now, go back and finish your breakfast, I seriously do need the alone time."

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Lia bought both CDs, and a player, that she asked Judd to hold onto with the promise that she would pick her purchases up later. She wasn't ready to face her friends again, after the scene that she had made, and she didn't actually want to be alone. Cordelia decided that this would be the perfect time to find Eric, to continue their conversation.

She was surprised that she remembered how to get to his apartment, so easily, and it didn't take her very long to walk there, from the music shop. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. She waited for a few moments, and knocked again. Still no answer.

The dark-haired girl tried the doorknob, surprised to find that it was unlocked. She turned the handle, and slowly opened the door, before entering the young leader's home, cautiously.

"Hello?" she called, as she tentatively entered his living room, glancing around for any sign of the blue-eyed man.

 _ **"Well I wish there was someone**_

 _ **Well I wish there was someone**_

 _ **To love me**_

Cordelia turned around, quickly; there was music coming from the other side of the door in Eric's living room.

 _ **"When I used to be someone**_

 _ **And I knew there was someone**_

 _ **That loved me**_

The amber-eyed girl tiptoed over to the door, pressing her ear against the cool metal.

 _ **"As I sit here frozen alone**_

 _ **Even ghosts get tired and go home**_

 _ **As they crawl back under the stones**_

The sweet, sad chorus flowed together, in a beautiful, dark symphony of longing. Lia supposed that Eric must be in the room, listening to the mystery musician. She turned the handle, slowly, cracking the door open.

 _ **"And I wish there was something**_

 _ **Please tell me there's something better**_

The former Candor moved so she could peak through the door; she didn't want to just walk in on the young leader if he happened to be dressed less than appropriately. She gasped when she saw Eric, sitting on the floor against the wall, strumming a guitar with his eyes closed, and singing. Without a stutter.

 _ **"And I wish there was something more than this**_

 _ **Saturated loneliness..."******_

The blue-eyed man let the notes fade out, shoving the instrument away from him, harshly, causing it to bang onto the floor, loudly. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and pushed his hands into his hair, letting them still in his blonde locks with his head bowed.

Cordelia pushed the door open, hesitantly, and Eric snapped his head up, his eyes wide. The blonde hurried to stand to his feet, leaning against the wall, almost as if he wished it would suck him into it.

"That... that was absolutely beautiful," Lia whispered, as she approached the blue-eyed man, slowly. "But, how...?" she let the unspoken question hang in the air, as Eric swallowed thickly, clearly uncomfortable.

"I- I- I d- don't, I don't kn- kn- know," he answered quietly, pushing away from the support of the wall, attempting to regain some composure. "I- I- I j- just... I- it's th- th- the o- only t- time, only time I d- d- don't s- st- stutter."

Lia moved close to the young leader, shocked that _this_ man, was the mystery musician. She thought back to all the lyrics of the songs that she had heard, a strong sense to comfort him overwhelmed the amber-eyed girl.

"Why is it so sad? The lyrics, I mean," she spoke softly, in a very hushed tone, as she stood only inches in front of the young leader.

The dark-haired girl gazed into Eric's eyes, and he was unable to look away from Lia's sparkling, amber orbs. "I- I- I'm l- l- l- lonely, I'm lonely..."

Cordelia leaned up, before he could stop her, and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Eric's lips.

 _ **** Pages - 3 Doors Down**_

 _ ***** Sound of Silence - Disturbed (Orig. by Simon and Garfunkel)**_

 _ ****** Tearjerker - Korn**_


	10. Chapter Nine - My Mind is a Fortress

**Author's Note:** So, to thank my beautiful reviewers:

Feigningintrest - I will totally be using that song! Are you psychic?,

Lauren - I know! I want to squeeze him, too!,

JohnnyStormsGirl - In the words of Eric, "I guess you'll find out, or not." lol,

murmelinchen - I love all of your make-up reviews! You know I love ya'! :),

RisughXD - You are welcome! And thank you so much!,

Please don't explode, Girloftheshadowsx! Here's a chapter to defuse the situation!,

mona-rose - Thank you:),

Sasha - I know, it made me cry, too:( Thank you so much:),

interdictum in aeternum - I'm so glad I made you fall in love with Eric all over again in a different way!

Things are going to be quite rough, and gritty, for a while yet, but their will definitely be some fluff, and maybe even some smut, depending on if you guys want to see that, lol :). I love all you guys so much! Thanks for encouraging me to continue this, and for supporting me! A few of you a different type of support (you know who you are), I'm indebted:') **xoxo**

Eric's eyes went wide when Lia pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth; he wasn't expecting her to kiss him, especially after he had already explained to her that there were laws against them being together. Not that he didn't enjoy it; he did. He had never wanted to be so close to anyone, before, and it absolutely terrified him.

The dark-haired girl pulled back, blushing furiously, and twiddled her thumbs together, nervously. "I- I- I'm, I'm sorry," she said, quietly, stammering in her awkwardness.

The young leader swallowed, and cleared his throat, before smirking, mischievously. "I- I- Is m- my s-, my s- s- stutter c- con- contageous?"

A reticent giggle escaped Cordelia; she was slightly astounded at the blonde's witticism. The former Candor shook her head, bashfully, and lowered her gaze. "No," she said quietly, scrutinizing the gold hooks that held the laces of her boots. Lia hastily snapped her eyes to the blue-eyed man in front of her, when he released a loud, animated laugh. She couldn't help the smile that cracked her face at hearing the slightly high-pitched giggle; the dark-haired girl had never seen this side of the young leader, and she doubted that anyone had, in a while at least.

After Eric had calmed down, he took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed, and it surprised him when it came so easily. "I- I- I d- didn't, didn't ex- ex- ex- expect you t- to an- an- answer that," he explained, amazed at the sense of ease that seemed to have fallen over the two after his outburst. "N- not th- th- that I, that I d- didn't en- en- enjoy that, b- b- but y- you c- can't, you can't d- d- do th- that, do that a- again."

"Can I ask you a question?" Cordelia inquired, and the tone of her voice told Eric that she was going to ask anyway.

"I- I- I, I g- guess," he replied, nervously, fidgeting a bit, where he stood with his arms folded across his chest. He was almost afraid of what she would ask him, as he found himself almost unable to deny her the answers. Even the time that she had asked him if he was mute, the dark-haired girl had broken through a barrier; one of the many walls that he had put up to protect his fragile state.

"Why do hide your stutter? Why don't you want anybody to know that you're the famously-unknown, mystery musician? Everybody loves your music."

Eric sighed, exhaling loudly, as he prepared to answer her. "I- I- I j- just, I just d- d- do," he replied, shortly, the coldness that usually radiated from the young leader returning, quickly. He might have been a miserable wreck when he was alone, but he was still hardened by his affliction, and he doubted, strongly, that he would ever turn soft, or sensitive, even if he did have his moments of weakness.

"Well, that's not a good answer," Lia retorted, as she frowned at the blue-eyed man.

"N- n- not my f- fault y- y- you d- don't, you don't l- l- like m- my an- an- an- answer, my answer," the blonde huffed, annoyed at the amber-eyed girl's persistent nature. He respected her bluntness, but at the same time, it drove him insane.

"I kinda thought we were making some progress; you opening up to me," she said, a flash of hurt crossing her features at the suddenly icy tone in her instructor's voice. "I just want to understand-."

"N- n- nobody c- can u- u- under-, understand m- me," he growled, angrily. "W- what? T- you want m- m- me t-, me to t- talk? Y- y- you w- want t- t- to f- fix, to fix me? I- I- I c- can't be, can't be f- f- fixed, o- okay? Th- th- this i- is f- f- fucking p- p- permanent, a- al- alright, alright?!"

Cordelia's eyes went wide, not understanding why the sudden change in the other man's personality. "Why are you acting different, now? I mean, I think you've made a big step, letting me hear your voice. And, I thought you were letting me in?"

Eric scoffed, pacing for a few moments. He was scared; he was terrified that he had let her in as much as he already had, and he regretted it. He didn't want to let her in; he didn't want to let anybody in.

He didn't want to show any weakness, and here, he had shown two of the most intimate parts of himself to this Candor transfer. Whether or not he was attracted to her, he couldn't afford this; he couldn't afford to be so exposed.

"I- I- I'm s- sorry th- th- that I, that I d- did," he deadpanned, mentally berrating himself for the way he had previously lost control around this particular initiate; he was going to put a stop to that. "I- I- I m- made a, made a m- m- mis-, mistake w- w- with y- you."

The young leader hated that he had to push her away, he really did, but, in his mind, there was no choice in the matter. She was doing something to him, and he couldn't let it go any further, for both their sakes.

Lia stood, as well, confusion etched across her fair features. "Eric, I-."

"Y- y- you n- need to, need to l- leave, i- in- initiate."

The amber-eyed girl glared at him, the pain of the young leader's words bringing to surface a strong loathing at his rejection of her advances. Cordelia was so confused; the way had treated her the night before, and this morning, causing a struggle within her to understand why he was suddenly throwing her away.

"Yes sir," Lia spat, as she pushed past him, angrily, storming out of the blonde's apartment.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"What crawled up your ass, and died?"

Cordelia glared at Uriah, and he quickly held up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry! Sorry," he apologized, hastily, taking a seat on the floor of the roof that the initiates had jumped off of to enter the compound for the first time. "I don't try to be an asshole, I swear I don't mean it; I'm a meat-head."

The dark-haired girl sighed, deeply, dropping down beside the slightly darker-skinned Dauntless-born. She watched as he pulled a bag out of his jacket pocket, opening it, and inhaling deeply. "Yes!" he all but moaned, grinning and closing his eyes.

"What the hell is that?" the amber-eyed girl inquired, her curiosity spiked as she scrutinized the green and orange substance contained within the plastic. The Dauntless-born held the bag out to her, and she leaned over, taking a large whiff.

"Oh my god!" Lia's face crinkled with disgust, and she pulled away quickly at the harsh sent. "That smells like fucking rotten fruit, and dog shit!"

The dark-skinned boy grinned at the expression on the former Candor's face, nodding his head in agreement. "One thing you'll learn while at Dauntless," he started, as he pulled out a few of the buds, and began breaking them into smaller pieces. "The worse it smells, the better."

Uriah continued breaking the colorful substance, pulling out pieces of stems and small seeds. "This my dear Candor, is Vortex." Cordelia raised an eyebrow; she had absolutely no idea what Vortex was. She knew it had to be some sort of plant, but she had never seen it before, in her life.

"It's weed, Lia," he sighed, with a smile, at the transfer girl's innocence. "You break it up, like this. Then you roll it up, or pack it into whatever, and smoke it." The other girl frowned, scrutinizing the orange hairs that peaked out through the buds, and the little crystals that resembled snowflakes.

"What does it do?" she inquired, unsure of whether she really wanted to test the effects, or not. Given her current state of misery, however, she was ready for any distraction.

Uriah just smirked, as he pinched the desired amount into a brown paper, rolling the blunt with skilled expertise. "You'll find out."

The darker-skinned boy passed the rolled, and finished product to Lia, and she took it, hesitantly. "Light up," he ordered, still smirking at the dark-haired girl, as he handed her a red lighter.

Cordelia took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for whatever was about to happen, and placed the brown roll between her lips, flicking the wheel on the lighter until it produced a small flame. She held the flame to the end of the blunt, inhaling to get it lit, and she began to cough, harshly, as tears came to her eyes from the intense fit of hacking.

The Dauntless-born boy laughed at her, slapping her on the back, to help her get her breath back. "What the fuck... did... you... do to... me?" The amber-eyed girl inquired, her frown morphing almost immediately into a goofy grin, as the effects of the drug took over her mind, and body.

Uriah took a long drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for an extended period of time, before releasing it, with a happy sigh. "Yeah..."

Cordelia wasted no time in hitting the blunt again, when the Dauntless-born passed it back to her. " _I like weed,_ " she thought, with a giddy smile on her face, as she laid back on the ground, stretching out and absorbing the light of the sun. She could feel the rays piercing through her skin, but it didn't burn; it felt amazingly blissful.

Uriah joined her, and they stared at the vivid blue sky, together, drinking in the beauty of the day. "I always forget how pretty everything is," he commented, with a loving smile. Lia giggled, uncontrollably, for about two minutes, before accepting the slow-burning roll, once again.

She pouted, when she saw that half of the blunt was already gone, before taking several, intense hits, the smoke going straight to her head. Cordelia could feel the ends of her hair, and her skin tingled with hyper-sensitivity; she relished in the ecstacy that flooded her being.

"I love this roof," she stated, feeling a strong, spiritual connection to the concrete surface she was laid out on. She turned over onto her stomach, with her face pressed against the warm, gravelly floor. "I'm hugging the roof, Uriah."

The dark-skinned boy chuckled at his Candor friend, nodding his head in agreement. "We need music; you would love listening to music when you're high. You can fucking feel it," he stated, standing up slowly after they finished off the rest of the blunt. He held out a hand for the dark-haired girl to take, and she accepted it, as he helped her to her feet.

"Wow, I love standing up," she said, a sense of wonder apparent in her voice, and her bloodshot eyes squinted even more, as she grinned from ear to ear.

The pair made their way to the cafeteria, for lunch, and sat at their usual table, smiling like idiots. Their friends gave them a knowing look, as they took in the spectacle that was Uriah and Lia.

"We need music, Vi!" the darker-skinned boy whined, as he pulled the amber-eyed girl onto his lap, hugging her tightly. Cordelia was too giddy to care, and just let her friend hold her, as the purple-haired girl pushed 'play' on the CD player.

 _ **I hurt myself today**_

 _ **To see if I still feel**_

 _ **I focus on the pain**_

 _ **The only thing that's real**_

 _ **The needle tears a hole**_

 _ **The old familiar sting**_

 _ **Try to kill it all away**_

 _ **But I remember everything**_

Lia felt her face fall at the pained lyrics, remembering the honesty, and raw emotion with which her instructor sang. Just remembering that these were his true feelings, caused her heart to ache.

 _ **What have I become**_

 _ **My sweetest friend**_

 _ **Everyone I know goes away**_

 _ **In the end**_

 _ **And you could have it all**_

 _ **My empire of dirt**_

 _ **I will let you down**_

 _ **I will make you hurt**_

The dark-haired girl slid off of Uriah's lap, opting to sit on the table, as she listened intently to the melancholy tones.

 _ **I** **wear this crown of shit**_

 _ **Upon my liar's chair**_

 _ **Full of broken thoughts**_

 _ **I cannot repair**_

 _ **Beneath the stains of time**_

 _ **The feelings disappear**_

 _ **You are someone else**_

 _ **I am still right here**_

Lia placed her head in her hands, resting them on top of her knees, as she rocked back, and forth.

 _ **What have I become**_

 _ **My sweetest friend**_

 _ **Everyone I know goes away**_

 _ **In the end**_

 _ **And you could have it all**_

 _ **My empire of dirt**_

 _ **I will let you down**_

 _ **I will make you hurt**_

The steady beat drummed in her ears, and she could feel the forlorn notes all the way through to her very soul, as the words gave way to a smooth, instrumental bridge. When the outro began, slower, and with even more grit, and raw emotion, she felt the first tear run down her cheek.

 _ **If I could start again**_

 _ **A million miles away**_

 _ **I would keep myself**_

 _ **I would find a way****_

The dark-haired girl was sobbing, now, and Sassy, Marc, and Uriah all hurried to wrap their arms around the emotionally-wrecked transfer. "It's not fair!" she cried out, loudly, drawing more attention than she normally would have liked. "It's not fucking fair!"

Eric stood on the other side of the cafeteria, alone, watching the scene. The Candor girl was crying for him? He shook his head, as he looked on, with the majority of Dauntless. Lia was sobbing, and her friends were trying to console her, unsuccessfully.

His eyes went wide when she ceased her breakdown, and called out, loudly, "Are you gonna eat that?", and she started laughing, uncontrollably. The young leader furrowed his brow, in suspicion.

 _'Uriah, that fucking little prick...'_

"Oh my god, I'm like, starving," the dark-haired girl announced, as she took a bite of Marc's hamburger. It didn't take her long to finish off the delicacy, and she licked her fingers, moaning, as she did so. "Thaaaaank you, Maaaarc," she drawled, grinning goofily at her Amity friend. The ginger-haired boy chuckled at her crazy antics, ruffling her hair. Sassy was desperately trying to keep her own laughter under control, as was Violet, at the expression on Uriah's face.

"What are you looking at, Uri?" Cordelia inquired, curiously, climbing back onto his lap. The darker-skinned boy just grinned, squinting, and pointed at the windows lining the far end of the room. Cordelia followed his finger, catching the sight as well, and stared in wonder at the sun beams stabbing through the cracks around the glass, specks of dust particles causing a shimmer in the light.

"Whoa," she breathed, sighing dreamily, in sync with the darker-skinned Dauntless-born, as their mouths hung open. Everyone else at the table could no longer contain their amusement, and burst into fits of knee-slapping laughter.

The group had barely settled back down, when Lia felt a familiar presence behind her, and she turned around slowly.

The young leader glowered at the dark-haired girl, with a chastising expression, as he pulled his pad and pen out of his pocket. Lia stared, blankly, as Eric scribbled over the paper, pouting at his choosing to remain silent.

She accepted the note, with a frown, and she squinted her eyes to read the blurry letters: Are you high? What did HE give you?

Cordelia glanced up into the icy-blue orbs of her instructor, her eyes wide. "Oooooh, so we're back to that eh, Mr. Leader Man, Sir?"

The blonde rolled his eyes, waiting for a real answer, while he folded his arms. _"Smart Ass..."_

"Yes," she responded, finally, attempting to match the young leader's glare, but failed, miserably. "I _am_ high. On _weed_." The dark-haired girl glanced to the CD player, before looking back to him, and her distraction didn't go unnoticed by Eric.

"Have you heard this?" the amber-eyed girl sneered, reaching over the table to turn the CD on, again. "It's so sad that our _mystery_ musician _chooses_ to be alone. I _wonder_ why he won't let _anyone_ in?"

The blonde chose to stare at the table; the haunting lyrics reminding him of the events of _that_ day...

"I wonder why he _chooses_ to be a _coward_? _Hiding_ in the shadows, like a-, hey! You're just gonna walk away?"

Eric stormed out of the cafeteria, the dark-haired girl's words fading into nothing when he exited through the double doors, and into the corridor. That was when he broke into a sprint, moving swiftly towards the training room.

He shed his light jacket, tossing it to the floor, as he began to pound mercilessly on one of the heavy punching bags. He started to think that it had been a mistake to release that particular song; he hadn't known that it would come back to haunt him, with a vengeance.

He began to sweat, profusely, as he continued to assault the heavy bag, his knuckles cracked, and bleeding. But Eric didn't stop, his angry fists leaving smears of blood across the faded, yellow canvas.

He could barely see the scars anymore; that was why he gotten the intricate, maze-like tattoos on his forearms, just a few months ago.

 _"I'm a fucking coward!"_

Not only did he constantly feel like he was running away from his problems, but he had pushed away the only person that he had spoken to in over a year. The Candor girl was attractive, and she had admitted to being attracted to him; even going as far to say, that she liked his stutter.

 _"What are the chances of that happening, again?!"_

The blonde was angry, and hurt, and he knew it was his fault. Cordelia was right; he chose to be this way.

 _"I'm a fucking coward..."_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Lia, can I talk to you, please?" Lauryn walked over to the dark-haired girl, and the Candor's friends, when she saw what had happened. The red-head really wanted to follow Eric, but she needed to know what she was dealing with.

"Um... okay," Lia answered, slowly, still baffled about the unusual reaction from the blue-eyed instructor. The Dauntless-born instructor gestured for Cordelia to follow her, and they made their way to an empty hallway near the training center.

"You know about him, don't you?" the green-eyed woman accused, crossing her arms over her chest, as she glared at the initiate in front of her. She noticed how she made the younger girl squirm, and attempted to soften her approach. "What do you know?" she asked, gently this time, and the amber-eyed girl seemed to ease up a bit, as the tension lifted.

"I-... I kinda forced it out of him," Lia admitted, a shameful expression crossing over her soft features. "I said awful things to him... terrible things, and he screamed at me."

"He screamed at you?" the red-head asked, incredulously, in disbelief. "What did he say?" Lauryn was exceptionally curious, after all, it would have been the first words he had uttered since Eric found out about his condition.

The dark-haired girl sighed, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "He told me to fucking shut up already," Lia chuckled, darkly, before continuing; quickly coming down from her high, much to her discontent. Lauryn was giving her a look, so she hastily told the rest of the story.

"And then, we went to the cafeteria, because Uri said music was awesome when you're high, and the song made me sad, because... ya' know?"

"I honestly had no idea about that part, until you told me," Lauryn informed the dark-haired girl, honestly. The red-head was still in amazement that Eric could sing like that; even before he had a stutter, she had never heard him sing. "So, what happened next?"

The amber-eyed girl frowned, and kicked the floor with the toe of her boot. "He wrote me a note, and I got mad... I called him a coward, discreetly, and-."

"Fuck! Eric?!"

 _ ****Hurt - Nine Inch Nails (Orig. by Johnny Cash)**_

 **A/N:** I want to know what ya'll think happened; drop me a review and tell me your thoughts:) I promise I won't take as long to update next time; I've just been REALLY sick. Love you guys! **xoxo**


	11. Chapter Ten - Disillusion

**Author's Note:**

As always, a huge 'Thank you!' to all of my lovely reviewers! You guys always make me smile! :)

 **mona-rose** \- I love a vulnerable tough guy, too! Especially, when it's Eric, lol :)

 **Girloftheshadowsx** \- Don't worry! He'll let her in more and more:) And thanks, I kinda used some of my own experiences with being captivated by little things for Lia's Vortex experience, lol :)

 **kmcracerx** \- Don't worry, things are going to change for Eric! And Lia!... And everybody! I'm so excited for what I have planned :D I know! Y chromosome be damned, ergh D

 **JohnnyStormsGirl** \- I'm so glad I made your day! And I'm guessing your going to like this chapter, then *wink wink*.

 **RisughXD** \- Yeah, turbulent relationships leave room for make-up sex (tee-hee-hee!). And thank you for the compliment on my smut-writing! :)

 **Interdictum in aeternum** \- WOW, lots of compliments there! Thank you so much! Yes! I totally got the SKWAD reference;) [I'm so glad he gets to use his Australian accent!] Yeah... he does have a rather dark past; pre-Dauntless, to be exact. But, he's had it rough at Dauntless, too... Pretty much, the majority of his life, is a big, sad sob story. Is this update soon enough? :)

 **Simana** \- Thank you so much for reviewing! I love getting new reviewers! I'm glad you're enjoying this, and please feel free to keep giving feedback:)

 **Feigningintrest** \- It won't be long, until he has an "epiphany" :D And yes, Eric is a total coward right now. He has completely forgotten what it means to be Dauntless, and he needs Lia to remind him... Even if it means pushing his buttons! :) He's got to face the music, so to speak, lol. More accurately his fears :) Thank you for reading!

 **Electric Blue Reader** \- Ready to find out? ... Dah Dah!

 **EvieLyn** \- Oh, girl, you got no idea how close you were to being right! In the first draft of the plot outline, I actually did have Eric attempt to off himself... it was bloody, lol.

 **Nephica** \- We got a new reader in the house! Whoop whoop! So glad you're enjoying it, and I can't wait to here more back from you!

 **Classybird** \- I am right there with ya' Classy, but sometimes it takes a major wake up call to turn your life around, huh? And, I'll make sure she tones it down soon, there's only so much a guy can take, lol :) And I know, it makes me sad even writing about how he feels, and we haven't even delved that deep into his mind, or the way he thinks, yet. Lots of ups, and lots of downs, coming to an update near you!

Guys, seriously, I love you... I love you! You guys make my days; I have been going through so much bullshit in my life right now, and writing and reading your guys reviews seriously helps me keep going. Ya'll just don't understand, seriously, thank you guys:') **xoxo**

"Fuck! Eric?!"

Lauryn and Cordelia sprinted through the doors of the training room when they heard Four's panicked voice. The brown-haired instructor was kneeling beside Eric, who had his head in his hands, an anguished grimace on the blonde's face.

Eric's vision was blurry, and the pain in his head was excruciating; he couldn't believe this was happening, again. One minute, he had been beating his stresses away on the heavy bag, and the next, he was dropping to his knees.

"Is it happening?" Lauryn spoke quietly, when they reached the two men, fear apparent in her green orbs. Cordelia looked from Four, to Eric, to the red-head, in confusion. The dark-haired girl was exceptionally concerned; she didn't understand what was going on.

"I don't know," Four responded, his brow furrowed, equally worried at the state of the young leader. "Eric? Eric."

The blonde squeezed his eyes shut, tightly, as another stab of pain shot through his brain. He couldn't prevent the shout of agony that escaped from his lips, and his breathing was heavy, and ragged.

 _"Please,"_ he thought, with an overwhelming sense of regret. _"Not now; not yet. Not yet..."_

Eventually, after several fearful minutes, the pain receded, though the young leader still had a throbbing headache. He laid back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling as he allowed himself a brief moment of rest after the harrowing ordeal that he had just endured, his chest heaving as his breathing regulated back to normal.

"Somebody, please tell me what the hell that was?" Lia demanded, her voice trembling; she hadn't seen the blue-eyed instructor behave like this before, and it scared her.

Four and Lauryn shared a look, while the blonde forced himself to his feet, wobbling unsteadily for a moment from the lingering vertigo. The red-head opened her mouth to speak, but Eric turned to glare at her with icy daggers, and she quickly backed down.

"What the fuck is going on?" the former Candor directed her words at Eric, growing angry at the instructors' hesitance to provide her with information. The dark-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest protectively, knowing that whatever _this_ was, it wasn't good.

The young leader reached behind him to pull out his pad and pen, but Lia's voice caused his hand to stop midway into his pocket.

"Don't write me another bullshit note, Eric!" her tone of voice surprised not only the blonde, but Four and Lauryn, as well. "Prove that you aren't a coward! Fucking _tell_ me!"

The blue-eyed man hesitated; sure, everyone in this room knew that he had a stutter, but, it didn't mean that he wasn't self-conscious. Nonetheless, the fair-skinned transfer had struck a chord within him, with her harsh statement, and Eric knew that he had to face this fear.

"I- I- I'm d- d-, I'm dying, L- lia."

The dark-haired girl laughed, incredulously, in denial. "Very funny, asshole. I'm serious." When the young leader shifted his gaze to the floor, his jaw set, Cordelia knew that he wasn't joking, and her face fell. "What?"

Eric continued to stare at the floor, and he cleared his throat a bit, awkwardly. "C- c- chr- chronic, chronic s- s- subdural h- hema- hematoma, c- c- caused, caused by T- t- t- t- t- t- t-."

"Traumatic Brain Injury," Four finished, quietly, flanking Eric's right side, and placing a hand on the other man's shoulder, in support. At Lia's confused expression, he continued. "It means his brain is bleeding, and where it's located, is inoperable."

The dark-haired girl felt oddly numb, and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "When?" Eric met her gaze then, his usually icy-blue orbs, looking more grey, and tired.

"W- w- when-, whenever," he replied, simply, a despondent expression on his face. "C- c- could- could've, could've gone y- y- yester-, yesterday; c- could be, could be t- t- tom- tomorrow... C- c- could b- b- be y- years, years."

Lia glanced at Lauryn, the red-head's green orbs full of sorrow, and relief, at the same time. The former Candor realized that the Dauntless-born instructor had really thought that Eric was going to die, only moments ago. The numbness began to fade, and gave way to fear, and trepidation. The dark-haired girl understood, now, the blonde's unwillingness to let her in.

"I've misjudged you," Cordelia started, her lower lip trembling, as she felt the tears sting her eyes. When the young leader raised an eyebrow in confusion, she continued. "You choose to be lonely, because you don't want to hurt anybody else, when you... when you go."

Lia knew that she had hit the nail on the head, judging by the resigned look that she received from the blonde. She drew in a shaky breath, willing herself to remain calm; it would obviously not do anyone in the room any good if she were to break down.

"Why do you gotta act like such a damn Stiff?" she inquired, unable to prevent her very Candor upbringing from rearing it's ugly head.

Eric's eyes went wide at the amber-eyed transfer's laconic suggestion, but it didn't slow her down. "The fuck you wanna be selfless for? You're supposed to be brave, remember? You've already given up! You should be living your life, doing whatever the fuck you want! Not waiting around to die! Don't worry about the people that will be sad when you're gone; it's a good thing, if they are. Leave a fucking legacy, for heavens' sake!"

Cordelia didn't realize that she was screaming at the blonde, or that she was crying, until she paused for air. She growled, in frustration, before storming out of the training room, leaving the others behind.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Eric is the mystery musician," Lauryn stated, after the blonde had trudged off to his apartment, in silence. "Did you know that?"

Tobias' eyes went wide, with shock, and his mouth hung open. "What? But, that doesn't make sense; the mystery musician doesn't have a-."

"I know, I don't understand, either," the red-head responded, sighing deeply. She shuffled her feet where she stood, wrapping her arms around her waist to ward off the chilly air in the training room.

Four scratched his head, chewing on his lip, while he stared at the green-eyed woman. "Okay, well, that explains a few things, anyway... I swear to God, when I saw him on the floor, I thought that was it, too."

"Yeah," the Dauntless-born instructor agreed, nodding her head a bit, and frowning. "So, I guess that's one of the episodes that Cobra was talking about would happen... Does that mean it's going to happen soon?"

"I don't know," Four answered, frustrated with the whole situation; his former enemy, turned friend, was dying a slow, and painful death, and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. "Maybe this isn't the first time he's had an episode, either... Maybe that's why he... well, you remember _that_ day."

Lauryn exhaled, shakily, at the memory of finding the man who saved her life, lying unconscious on the floor of his bathroom, blood pulsing out of the long, deep gashes running down his forearms with each, irregular beat of his heart. The image haunted her; she had night terrors that they weren't able to get help to him, in time. "You're saying that there's a possibility that this has been happening for more than six months?"

"I think we need to go have a talk with Cobra," Four said, evenly, as he turned around, heading for the exit. "Right now."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Lia had no appetite at dinner, which surprised everyone who had witnessed her previous, drug haze. The dark-haired girl didn't seem to notice when her friends addressed her; she just stared off, into space, with her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

"I'm still high, what's wrong with you?" Uriah shook the former Candor's shoulders, roughly, to get her attention. "Come on, your negative energy is totally killing my buzz!"

"Nobody cares, Uri!" the amber-eyed girl growled, scowling at the darker-skinned, Dauntless-born. Marc and Sassy exchanged a wary glance, and Violet simply fidgeted, awkwardly, in her seat.

"Hey," the purple-haired girl chirped up, forcing a smile. "You want to listen to some music? I made a mix-tape of the mystery-."

"Shut up, Vi!" Cordelia screamed, standing from the table, and marching towards the Pit. Marc hurried to follow his seemingly distraught friend, grabbing her arm before she reached the exit.

"Hey! What's going on with you, Lia?" he demanded, concern, and irritation evident in his tone. "Are you fucking bipolar, or something? Because every couple of hours, it's like the difference between night and day with you!"

Cordelia's expression was one void of emotion; a blank mask, to hide her inner turmoil. "Just leave me be, Marc."

The amber-eyed girl turned to leave again, but the Amity boy blocked her escape route. "No," he said, firmly, pointing a finger in her face. "I care-, _we_ care about you, too much, to let you keep running away. Tell me what the hell is wrong with you, now."

The dark-haired girl sighed, in exasperation, crossing her arms over her chest, and placing a cool hand to her forehead. "Marc, I can't, okay? I-... I actually need to go talk to somebody, right now."

Lia shoved past her ginger-haired friend, swinging the doors open, and leaving a very concerned, freckled boy behind her. She didn't know if Eric would be at his apartment, or on the roof, but she had a feeling it was the latter.

The Candor transfer hurried through the damp corridors, taking the back entrance to the stairwell that led up to the roof of the training center. She jogged up the stairs, pushing through the door at the top, and stepped out into the chilly, night air.

There were no stars out, tonight, and the moon was mostly hidden by dark, grey clouds overhead. Just as she had expected, the young leader was already there, sitting in the same place he had when they had their first conversation. He looked up at Cordelia, an expression that was difficult to decipher in the darkness, spread over his face.

"Hey," Lia said, quietly, as she moved to sit next to the blue-eyed man on the floor. "I'm sorry... for what I said earlier. I just-."

"D- d- don't be," the blonde cut in, meeting her soft gaze, as he stared into her gold-flecked amber orbs. "Y- you-, you're r- right... I- I'm a, c- c- coward." The young leader hung his head, in shame, exhaling loudly. "I- I- I d- don't, don't w- want t- t- to be, th- though."

The dark-haired girl felt a strong ache in her heart, at the despair in her instructor's voice, and she scooted close to him, satisfied when he didn't flinch away. "Then do something about it," she suggested, gently, mentally chastising herself for her earlier choice of words; though, if it made a difference, she could forgive herself. "You don't have to do everything at once; you can take it one step at a time."

"H- how, how do I- I s- start?" the innocence that the feared and silent leader projected caught the Candor girl off guard. Eric met her eyes again, his crystal-blue orbs filled with a mixture of various emotions; the most prevalent, disappointment.

"What's something you want? That's where I would start," Lia informed him, matter-of-factly. "If-... If time is of the essence, then there's no use depriving yourself of what makes you happy."

"I- I- I w- want... s- some- something I- I c- c- can't, can't h- have," he replied, and the honesty and disenchantment in his stammered words made Lia's eyes burn.

"You're Dauntless; take it anyway," she ordered, forcing down the lump in her throat. "Just take it."

Eric gulped, audibly, and the attention that his blue orbs paid to her lips caused Cordelia to shudder. "D- do you, do you r- r- really l- like m- my, my s- s- stutter?"

The lower octave that the young leader's voice had dropped to, had Lia's breathing picking up. "I do."

"C- c- can, can I- I-?"

"Yes," the dark-haired girl responded to his unspoken request, shifting around so that her entire body was facing her instructor, suddenly feeling bold, as her pulse quickened. "Don't think; just do it."

The blonde leaned in, slowly, his blue orbs never breaking Lia's gaze, as he pressed his lips to hers, gently. The feeling of magneticism prevented him from pulling away, and he deepened the kiss, moving his mouth against Cordelia's. He moaned, when the dark-haired girl slid her tongue across his lower lip, and he opened his mouth to allow her entrance.

Lia's tongue danced with his, as she found the hem of the young leader's shirt, her hands pushing up to explore Eric's toned stomach, and chest. The blonde slid his fingers into the Candor transfer's silky, dark-brown hair, tugging her closer, relishing in the unconceiled passion that his initiate had ignited within him.

The blue-eyed instructor leaned back against the wall, pulling Cordelia onto his lap, where she straddled him, never breaking apart; never coming up for air.

Eric moved his arms around her waist, pulling the dark-haired girl flush against him, as his hands explored the soft skin of her back, under her thin shirt, eliciting whimpers of gratitude from Lia. The blonde tugged on the ring in the amber-eyed girl's lip, the taste of metal and mint swirling on his tongue.

The former Candor eventually broke away, for a breath of much-needed oxygen, and Eric pushed her head to the side, moving her hair out of the way to gain access to the milky-white skin of her throat. He sucked, and nipped, at the sensitive skin, slowly making his way to Lia's collarbone, and the amber-eyed girl couldn't prevent the moans of pleasure that fell from her lips, even had she wanted to.

"Eric," she breathed, as she felt him harden beneath her, groaning as she rolled her hips down to relieve some of the friction. The blonde moaned at the contact, gripping her hips firmly, as his mouth captured Cordelia's pink lips, once again.

"What the hell is this?"

Eric jumped, startled at the sound of his superior's voice, and he quickly pushed the dark-haired girl off of him, offering her an apologetic look, before turning to face the leader of Dauntless.

"Down boy," Max ordered, smirking, as the blonde quickly covered his noticeable desire with his hands. Lia was blushing, furiously, though she was already flushed from the heated make out session with her instructor.

"I swear, I don't even remember why I came up here, now," Max announced, chuckling, and shaking his head. "Just do me a favor, and keep this thing a secret until after initiation."

The dark-skinned man took his leave, laughing as he made his way down the stairs.

"Well," Cordelia began, grinning, as she turned to face Eric, once more. "That was-... Are you _blushing_?"

The blonde's eyes had gone wide, as he pursed his lips a bit, and shook his head slowly. The expression caused Lia to giggle, incessantly, turning into a full-blown cackle when the young leader responded with a 'U- um... N- n- no?'.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The former Candor girl had parted ways with her instructor, giving him a brief, chaste kiss on the lips, before skipping down the stairs. She made her way to the dorm, shedding her clothes on her way to the showers.

The dark-haired girl felt giddy, as she stepped under the hot spray of water, and found herself humming to one of Eric's songs, which had her giggling.

"Seriously?!" Marc turned when he noticed his friend had joined him, shampoo dangerously close to dripping in his left eye from where the suds hung from his limp, ginger hair. "Now you're happy? I can't keep track of this!"

Cordelia laughed, when her Amity friend groaned, unable to contain her joy. "Don't worry, Marc," she replied, still giggling, as she lathered soap over her long, pale legs. "I think I might stay happy for a while."

The freckled boy rolled his eyes, placing a dollop of hair conditioner on his Candor friend's nose. Her smile faultered, only briefly, when the thought crossed her mind that there was a possibility that Eric might not live past initiation. She quickly shoved that thought to the back of her mind, and instead focused on the memory of her instructor's lips moving passionately against her own.

 **A/N:**

I am not a doctor! Chronic Subdural Hematoma is not usually fatal, there is a procedure where a qualified neurosurgeon can drill a hole through the skull, and drain the blood that has pooled from damaged veins. There have been several cases, however, where the Hematoma was too close to an artery to perform the operation safely; thus, leaving the fate of the affected person at the mercy of time. That being said... the plot thickens! Tell me what ya' think:) **xoxo**


	12. Chapter Eleven - Brace Yourself

**Author's Note:**

Alright, first and foremost: a special shoutout to one of my favorite writers: **mona-rose** ! Go read her story **Alone** if you haven't already, and be sure to **fave/follow/review** for her:) She is a wonderful writer, and has an exciting plot, as well:) It is one of my personal faves! :)

And now... on to my reviewers!

 **JohnnyStormsGirl**

\- I'm glad you loved it! And, I know right? Took the fool long enough, lol :) And... you'll have to wait and see for the rest:D

 **RisughXD**

\- I love you too! I'm so glad this makes you so happy:)

 **Feigningintrest**

\- Oh please don't hate me! I'm glad it's good enough to disuade your loathing of me, lol :)

 **mona-rose** (Don't forget to read her story Alone!)

\- I love you! I'm so glad that you're enjoying it:) I'm also glad you liked the make out scene (did I really give you butterflies with that?), and I loved Max's reaction too, lol :) Thank you so much for reviewing:)

 **Electric Blue Reader**

\- I know it makes me sad, too:( I'm just glad I know more than you guys, do, lol ;) I think Eric is cute when he gets embarrassed too, and of course I wanted to hear that, silly:) lates

 **forgetmenot55**

\- Oh, I can pretty much guarantee that he will be unforgetable;) When you think you know how much time you've got left, it changes your perspective, greatly :) I'm so glad that you're enjoying this:)

 **interdictum in aeternum**

\- I love your reviews! Always in depth with your thoughts, and I love it! :) I promise you will cry; that is a guarantee. You will seriously ball your head off. I can't say anything else: I don't like to give out spoilers! lol :)

 **Girloftheshadowsx**

\- Gosh, who keeps putting these bombs inside you! Somebody get the bomb squad! lol, here's moooooooore:)

 **Simana**

\- Thank you so much:) I will definitely keep going; there's nothing I hate more than an unfinished story, lol :)

Thank you all again for the reviews, they seriously make my day:) And, if you didn't already figure it out, I update as soon as I complete the chapter:) So thanks for reading, and don't forget to fave/follow/review! I love hearing from you guys:) **xoxoxoxo**

"What are they doing in there?" Sassy whispered, an edge of unease apparent in her tone of voice, as they listened to the muffled screams on the other side of the metal doors. Four and Lauryn took one initiate at a time into their respective rooms, while the rest of the prospective Dauntless members waited out in the corridor.

"I don't know," Lia frowned, nervous in anticipation of what was to come. "Maybe-."

Four opened his door, first, holding onto the Erudite boy's arm, tightly, while he escorted Liam to the end of the hall. Cordelia didn't like the look on the boy's face; he looked like he had seen a ghost.

"What happened to him?" Marc inquired, in a hushed tone, his face going pale at the horrible possibilites that went through his mind.

All of the initiates fidgeted uncomfortably, their eyes all trained on the brown-haired instructor as he made his way back to the room. He stopped just outside the door, turning towards Lia, and she shrunk back a bit.

"Lia," he stated, simply, before holding the door open for her to enter. The dark-haired girl hesitated, glancing down the hall where the tough Erudite transfer had been dumped. "Today, initiate."

The amber-eyed girl swallowed thickly, as she stood, and made her way uneasily through the metal door, Four following behind her. Cordelia didn't see much of anything that caused her great concern, at first; the room was pretty empty, save for a chair that looked eerily similar to the one that she had sat in for her Aptitude test. There was also a computer, and a monitor, and several flashing lights ran across the screen.

"Take a seat," Four ordered, moving to open a drawer under the computer, and pulling out an injection gun, and a small vial of a silver-colored serum. Lia hesitantly obeyed, cringing at the cold feel of the metal that her bare arms rested on. "You're going to be facing your worst fears through simulation. This serum," the instructor held up the small cartridge for her to see. "Will activate the part of your brain that produces fear, creating a mental landscape for you to face your fears. There are sensors in the serum that will project the images from your mind to the monitor. You need to either face your fears, or lower your heart rate to pass the sim."

"Are you kidding?" Lia scoffed, eyeing the needle on the injection gun with apprehension. "They just let you guys see what's goin' on in my head?"

Four didn't waste time arguing with the Candor transfer, he simply pushed her hair aside, and plunged the needle into her neck, before releasing the serum into her blood. "Brace yourself, Lia."

"You fuckin'... piece of..." the dark-haired girl trailed off, as her world plunged into darkness.

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

 _Cordelia was lying in a large bed, the silky sheets pulled up over her shoulders. She sighed, in contentment, relishing in the rare indulgement of comfort. The dark-haired girl had barely begun to nod off, when she felt something moving over her feet._

 _She kicked out, and curled back up, brushing the feeling off as paranoia. That was when it got bad._

 _No sooner had she allowed herself to relax again, than the feeling of hundreds of insects scittering up her legs caused her to bolt upright. The amber-eyed girl threw the covers off of her, revealing hundreds, possibly thousands, of large, black cockroaches._  
 _A blood-curdling scream bubbled up from her throat, as she attempted to remove the disgusting bugs. She quickly hopped out of bed, jumping up and down on the floor, trying to rid herself of the nasty creatures._

 _Lia grabbed one of her boots from her bedside, and chased the roaches around the room, smashing them to death on the floor, the wall, and the ceiling._

 **SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH**

 _The former Candor was stood in a large, open field, wading through the tall grass. The sky was grey, and darkening, the wind picking up and whipping her dark-brown locks every which way. Lia snapped her gaze to the treeline, towards the west, when a sudden flash of blinding light bolted to the earth from the churning sky above._

 _The rumble that followed only seconds after, caused the hair on her neck and arms to stand on end. The dark-haired girl noticed her breath coming in rapid, shallow respirations, as the ground shook beneath her feet._

 _"_ What is going on _?" she said, her eyes going wide as the field began to split in half before her eyes. The amber-eyed girl turned quickly, sprinting in the opposite direction, hoping to outrun the ever-closer, ever-growing fissure._

 _Another bolt of lightning split the sky, the thunder rolling ominously, as she gained ground. Lia tripped over a root, crying out in frustration, as she realized that she had sprained her ankle from the awkward way that she had landed. Her head snapped around to determine how much time she had to escape, but it was too late._

 _Cordelia's eyes went wide, and she choked on a scream, as the ground gave way beneath her, plunging her into the void below._

 **SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH**

 _The dark-haired girl walked down a deserted street, her hands in her back pockets, as she glanced to each side of the road. There was no one in sight; there weren't any animals, either._

 _She felt uneasy, the eery silence seemed deafening to the Candor transfer._

 _Lia felt a tremble under her feet, and a wetness, swrirling around her ankles. She looked down, shocked to see steadily, and rapidly, rising water had covered her feet._

 _The murky, brown liquid was relentless in its ascent, moving past her shins, before she could even blink her eyes in confusion. Cordelia started moving again, attempting to trudge through the muddy substance, but the violent current would not allow her._

 _The substance had reached mid-thigh height, and the dark-haired girl gasped as her feet were pulled out from underneath her. The current grew faster, and deeper, and Lia could not grab hold of anything to stop herself through the flow of the icy water._

 _She thrashed, and fought to swim, unable to stabilize her body as she was thrown to, and fro. Eventually, her arms grew tired, and while she was nowhere near ready to give up, the current was too strong. The undertow of the flood yanked her underneath the murky depths, the dirty water filling Cordelia's lungs._

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The dark-haired girl sat up quickly, a sharp intake of breath sounded more like a wheeze leaving her throat. She was panicking, but it didn't last long, as she realized that she was still in the room with her instructor.

"Easy, easy," Four cooed, placing a comforting hand on her shivering shoulder. "You did good."

The brown-haired man typed furiously on the keyboard in front of the computer, before offering her a small smile. "Nine minutes for your first time is really, really good," he offered the small encouragement, before helping Lia down from the chair.

Cordelia was still shaking, her face white, and her amber eyes blown wide, as Four escorted her back out into the corridor.

"Lia! Are you okay?" Marc's worried voice drifted past her ears, and she could only offer a small nod, to acknowledge her Amity friend. The amber-eyed girl allowed Four to guide her to the end of the corridor, gently coaxing her through the exit.

"I was covered in spiderwebs," Liam addressed her, quietly, from his seat in the corner. Cordelia turned to look at the Erudite boy; he was still pale, and trembling. "I was gagging on them, and I-... I couldn't breathe. It seemed so real."

"Yeah..." was Lia's only response. She decided not to stick around and wait; she simply wanted to get away. The dark-haired girl quickly took her leave, moving swiftly through the winding halls. A wave of dizziness overtook her, and she had to pause, leaning against the wall for support, her breath coming in short bursts.

"A- a- are y- you, you o- okay?" Eric's voice was an awkward-sounding whisper, but a whisper, nonetheless. Lia wanted to turn towards him, but she didn't want to fall on her face at his feet, either, so she settled for a simple shake of the head.

"I will be," she said, quietly, through her slightly labored breathing. After only a few moments, she felt like she was finally able to stand without support, and turned to face the young leader, who had a concerned expression on his face. "It's nice to see you, though."

Eric smiled at the amber-eyed girl, a genuine expression, and he held his arm up for her to take. "W- w- wanna, wanna go t- to m- m- my p- place?"

Lia stared at his arm for a minute, before winding her left arm underneath his, holding on to his bicep with her right hand. "Well," she started, grinning at the blue-eyed man, as they moved through the corridors. "Aren't you just an old-fashioned gentleman?"

Eric chuckled, low in his throat, and shook his head slightly, in amusement. "I- I- I d- doubt it."

They had no choice but to detach their hold when they approached the Pit; there was still thirteen days until the end of initiation. The pair jogged up several flights of rickety stairs, before taking the short corridor that led to the young leader's home. The blonde quickly unlocked his door, holding it open while Lia stepped through.

After he had closed the door, and locked it behind him, Eric joined the dark-haired girl on the couch, his thigh brushing up against Cordelia's. "So, please tell me that I don't have to do that again," the Candor transfer begged, hopeful that the worst was over. The blonde offered her a sympathetic expression, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"M- most, most p- p- people h- have t- ten to, ten to f- f- fifteen r- really, really b- bad o- ones; i- it t- takes a f- few, a few d- days t- to g- get all o- of, all of th- them r- r- r- record-, recorded i- in the c- c- computer, computer," he informed her, with a professional mannerism underlying his tone.

Lia's eyes went wide at the revelation, and she groaned. "But, the worst is over, right?" she pressed, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

Eric set his mouth in a thin line, his jaw clenched, and a hard expression on his face. "T- they o- only, only get w- w- worse; y- your w- worst f- f- fear, i- is y- y- your l- last, your last f- f- fear."

The Candor transfer groaned, again, throwing her head back against the couch, as she pouted. "Well, shit!"

"I- I, I kn- know," the blonde instructor nodded his agreement, offering a small, sympathetic smile. The two sat in silence for several minutes; it wasn't an awkward silence, though.

"Do I have to go through them anymore, after initiation?" Lia inquired, sitting back upright, and matching the young leader's hunched posture.

"N- not un-, not unless y- you, you w- w- want to," he replied, picking at one of the scabs on his knuckles. The dark-haired girl scoffed at that, crossing her arms over her knees.

"Who would want to?" she asked, incredulously, unable to believe that anyone would willingly put themselves through that for anything other than initiation.

Eric hesitated, momentarily, mulling over how to answer her question. "Y- you c- c- can, you can d- dev- develop n- new, new f- f- fears, an- an- and m- most D- d- dauntless ch- check, check up o- on th- theirs s- s- so th- that, so that th- they a- are, a- aw- aware, aware."

Lia chewed on her lip ring while she thought about the information that Eric had supplied. "What about you? When's the last time you checked for new fears?"

The blonde suddenly found the floor a very intriguing sight, and Cordelia furrowed her brow at his lack of response. "You haven't?"

The young leader shook his head, raising his gaze to meet Cordelia's amber orbs. "N- not since, not since m- m- my in- initiation... I- I g- g- guess I p- pr- probably, I probably sh- sh- should, should th- though."

Another extended period of silence followed, with occasional glances and soft giggles from Lia.

"Hey," the dark-haired girl chirped, causing Eric to turn his face towards her with a raised eyebrow, the dark-colored piercings in his brow glinting in the flourescent light that flooded the young leader's apartment. "Could you maybe... could you maybe play me a song?"

The blonde's crystal-blue orbs went wide, and he shook his head furiously.

"Aw, come on, please?" Lia pleaded, dropping to her knees on the floor in front of her instructor with her hands clasped together, while she pouted, batting her eyelashes. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Pl-?"

"F- f- fine!" Eric growled, only slightly annoyed at the Candor transfer's tactics to get him to do what she wanted. The blonde stood quickly, throwing open the door to his music room, and the dark-haired girl skipped happily behind him.

The young leader glanced around the room, until his gaze settled on the glossy, black piano near the window, and he approached the stringed instrument, swiftly, sliding the bench out enough for him to sit.

Lia leaned against the side, watching Eric, with a victorious smile on her face. She watched as he removed his jacket, before ghosting his long fingers over the ivory keys.

The blonde gulped, suddenly nervous at how vulnerable he felt while playing. "A- a- are you, are you s- sure?" he questioned softly, his voice merely a whisper. The dark-haired girl nodded, encouraging him to begin.

"Th- this is- isn't f- finished, finished y- y- yet, b- but... o- okay, th- th- then," the young leader took a deep, shaky breath, as he shook out his hands in an attempt to loosen up. Eric closed his eyes, involuntarily, as he began to play, his fingers gliding over the keyboard.

"I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight."

Lia felt her heart swell, at the sound of his smooth voice, and she watched him intently as she listened.

"And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No, I can't stand the pain."

The dark-haired girl swallowed thickly, as she took in the lyrics, the melancholy chords flowing together with the raw emotion in the blonde's voice.

"How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?"

Cordelia stared at her instructor, in amazement; she had never seen anything like it. The way Eric's face twisted as if he was in physical pain, the way he leaned forward over the keys, passion in every note played, and every bit of melody uttered.

"Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wish I could start this over again

"So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I don't wanna explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done

"How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
Got nowhere to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How-..."

Lia frowned when Eric suddenly stopped playing, his fingers still resting on the keys, with his head bowed. "Hey," she attempted to gain the young leader's attention, but he didn't acknowledge her. The dark-haired girl slid onto the bench beside him, reaching her hand out tentatively to turn his face towards her.

She was distraught at the despair etched over his features, a single tear spilling over and running down his cheek, and he turned his face away from her, quickly standing up, and rubbing the moisture from his eyes, roughly.

"Eric, I-."

"D- d- d- don't, don't l- look a- at, at m- m- me!" the blonde ordered, his voice raw. Lia moved to stand behind him, pulling at his shirt until he turned to face her. The dark-haired girl smiled gently at him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

Eric was ashamed of himself; he didn't want to be seen as weak. He found that he was enjoying the innocent contact, though, so he welcomed the embrace, holding the Candor transfer firmly against his chest, as he buried his nose in the dark-brown locks at the crook of Lia's neck.

 _"Why do I have to fucking leave, when I've finally found a reason to stay?"_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Alright," Cobra clasped his hands together on his desk, glancing back and forth between Four, and Lauryn. "After you voiced your concerns, and described what you could see of the episode, yesterday, I've since spoken with a collegue of mine in Erudite."

The older doctor, rubbed his face, sighing deeply, causing the two instructor's to share a worried look.

"And...?" Four pressed, growing increasingly nervous at the older man's hesitation to share his thoughts on the blonde leader's dire condition.

"And, it's not good," Cobra stated, disapointment lacing his words. " _If_ he's been having these episodes for that amount of time... I can't say anything definitive without further testing, but right now, I wouldn't give him more than a couple of months."

"No," the red-head breathed, gripping the arms of her chair, her heart dropping to her stomach. She turned to look at Tobias, who was swallowing, repeatedly, his honey-brown eyes blinking rapidly.

"It is imperitive that you bring Eric to me. I need to run a few scans of his brain, and then I can compare the scans from when he was diagnosed, to give a more accurate time-frame," Cobra insisted, tapping his fingers against the wooden surface of his desk, to emphasize the importance of his words.

"What... what's the soonest?" Four inquired, in a small voice, his tone laced with pain.

"Any second," the doctor explained, rubbing the back of his tattooed neck. "Any _fucking_ second."

 **A/N:**

So, the song I used is called **'Untitled'** by **Simple Plan** , and I did change just a few of the lyrics, but it was only like a handful or words, lol. Next chapter might possibly cause tears, jus' sayin'... and of course we'll see a few more of Lia's fears:) It might be kinda nasty though, just warning you. When I wrote the particular fear I'm talking about into the plot outline, I thought I was going to throw up just thinking about it! Okay, enough from me, now I want to hear from you guys! :) **xoxo**


	13. Chapter Twelve - Shaken: Part 1

**Author's Note:**

I am SO sorry for taking so long to update; I've been extremely sick:( But, I hope this makes up for it:) And, hopefully, I'll be posting Part 2 later today, and I'll do my shoutouts then:) So, this is just a quick thank you for your reviews and your patience!

 **WARNING::**

Contains sensitive material & possible triggers!

The chatter in the cafeteria was almost deafening, as per usual, when Cordelia went to sit at the table with her friends, the young leader trailing behind, awkwardly. The dark-haired girl slid onto the bench, and Eric didn't hesitate to scoot in beside her. Uriah, Violet, Sassy and Marc, all stared at the blonde, apprehensively, sharing nervous glances.

Lia noticed their discomfort, and frowned, with her head tilted to the side, in confusion. "What's up with you guys?"

They all shifted uncomfortably in their seats, but it was Uriah who decided to speak up. "Why are you sitting with us, Sir?" the dark-skinned boy questioned, directing his query at the blue-eyed instructor.

Eric forced himself to remain his cool composure, as he pulled out his pad and pen from his back pocket, and scribbling over the paper quickly.

The Dauntless-born boy shifted his eyes over to the Candor transfer, before he accepted the yellow note from the blonde, and read it aloud for his friends to hear. "'I like to check up on my initiates, Pedrad'" he read the neat script written on the small paper. "Um... okay?"

The young leader nodded, once, in his direction, before smirking at Lia beside him. He had forgotten how much Zeke and his brother looked alike, although while Zeke was smart, and reliable, Uriah was a clown, who liked to goof off. But, they both had the same, blinding-white smile, which he noticed the dark-skinned boy was currently aiming at Cordelia.

"Wanna go up to the roof of Administration after lunch?" Uriah inquired of his friends, though his gaze was on the amber-eyed girl, and it caused the young leader to scowl at him; he knew what they were going to do. Eric had never smoked before, and while it was legal at Dauntless, he just never felt compelled to experiment with the readily available plant.

"Definitely!" Lia exclaimed, happily, causing the blonde to frown at her choice. "I like weed!"

Her admission caused giggling among her friends, with the exception of the purple-haired girl. Violet hadn't touched her food, and appeared pale, and sallow. She seemed to have developed a permanent frown over the past few days. "Guys, I'm really worried about Todd."

Eric felt Cordelia stiffen beside him, and the smile fell from her face, as her leg began to bounce up and down, in anxiety.

"It's really important that I talk to him, and I haven't seen him since the first day of break," Violet continued, twiddling her thumbs together, where her hands rested on the table in front of her. "I don't know if he's avoiding me, or-."

"Quiet!"

All chatter disappeared, and every head turned to the balcony above the dining hall, as Max stood above them with his arms clasped together behind him, a serious look on his dark face.

"As some of you know, two of our initiates have been 'missing' for a few days," the Dauntless leader began, gazing out over the crowd before him.

Cordelia noticed the way Violet's breathing changed, and the way the purple-haired girl began to tremble; this was not going to be pretty. The dark-haired girl knew that this would happen at some point, but it didn't make it any less awkward for her, and it didn't make her feel any less guilty, that her friend had tried to kill her, and had himself died in the process.

"One of our initiates was attacked three nights ago, but luckily one of our own was able to intervene in time. Donnie was one of the three initiates that participated in the attack, and as you are aware, he was made factionless when the cuts for stage one were made," the dark-skinned leader paused, judging the reactions from the members below him. He held up his hand to silence the whispers that had started at the disturbing revelation.

"As for the other two boys," he continued, with a sigh, and a heavy heart. "We had to contact the first of kin before we could break the news, and their parents were on the fence at the time, but have since returned. Grey was killed, attempting to retaliate, and Todd jumped into the Chasm, rather than face being made factionless."

Eric had forgotten that Todd was Lia's friend's boyfriend, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the purple-haired girl; it wasn't her fault.

Violet hung her head, and started sobbing, Sassy and Uriah hurrying to console her. "This isn't happening!" she cried, causing a sense of deja vu to pass through the blonde leader, as he watched the Dauntless-born girl fall apart. "This can't happen! What am I supposed to do?! How am I gonna-? I can't-, without him!"

Lia felt like she was going to be sick, and she was sure that if she were to look in a mirror, her face would be yellow right now. Eric sensed her nervous state, and squeezed her hand gently, under the table. "Violet, I am so sorry," she started, quietly, a pained expression crossing her delicate features. "Is there anything I can do?"

The Amity boy knew, in that moment, that it was Lia who had been attacked by the other boys. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together, and their friends all looked at her with different emotions displayed on their faces. Marc felt uneasy at the venomous snarl that the purple-haired girl released.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Violet accused, pointing at the dark-haired girl, while holding her stomach with her free hand. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

Lia noticed the low growl that Eric emitted, but she ignored him as she fumbled for an explanation. _"She hates me."_

"I wanted to tell you," Cordelia admitted, as tears started to flow from her amber eyes. "I just didn't know how! I didn't want you guys to hate me, or be angry with me!" She was trembling, and she could tell that her behavior had bothered the young leader, but he remained silent.

"Hate you?" Violet asked, incredulously, shaking her head, as her expression changed from violent to gentle. She sighed deeply, and closed her eyes, briefly. "It's not your fault, Lia. If Todd attacked you, then we all know why. It hurts that he's gone, because I'm-, I mean, he had no right to do what he did," the purple-haired girl finished, quietly, as she slumped her shoulders. "If he hadn't died, I would've broken up with him over that; he was a coward."

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," Cordelia stressed, ashamed that she had allowed her friend to find out this way. "What can I do to help? Please, I need to do something."

The dark-haired girl was begging, and Eric didn't approve; the attack had not been her fault, and she didn't owe anybody, anything. He noticed the purple-haired girl shifting around uncomfortably in her seat, and he waited to hear what she would request.

"There's something I need to tell you guys," Violet started, awkwardly, opting to stare at the table in front of her. "It's what I needed to tell Todd... I-, I'm-, I mean, we-."

Lia reached across the table, grabbing the purple-haired girl's hands in her own, and squeezed gently, encouraging her friend to continue.

Violet squeezed her eyes shut, and scrunched her face. "I'm pregnant."

"What?!" Sassy and Lia exclaimed, in unison, flapping their hands in the air. Eric noticed that Uriah and Marc shared his expression, one of awkwardness and slight disgust. Teen pregnancies weren't uncommon in their city, but most of them were due to 'free-love' in Amity, as most of the other factions instilled the importance of birth-control in their children, and Abnegation didn't allow any physical contact between unmarried people of the opposite sex.

The purple-haired girl held a finger to her lips, shushing her friends, and ordering quiet. "Guys, please, I don't want my dad to know yet, and if all of Dauntless finds out, then he'll find out!"

"Okay, okay," Lia conceded, offering an apologetic smile. "Are you going to go through with it?" She felt Eric's stare on the side of her head, but she brushed it off; this was Violet's choice, certainly not his.

"Of course I am," the purple-haired girl stated, slightly offended at the insenuation. She noticed how the young leader, who sat beside her Candor friend, seemed to relax at her words. "I couldn't do anything like that, ya' know? It's a baby. It's a part of me."

"Sorry," the dark-haired girl offered, with a shrug. "I just meant, that no one would blame you if you didn't want to go through with it. If I was in your situation, I wouldn't want it."

"Lia!" Marc scolded, angered at the harsh words of the amber-eyed girl.

Cordelia noticed the frowns that she received from her friends, and Eric seemed upset, to say the least; no one was on her side. She still found it amazing how the people of Dauntless, including herself, could switch through so many different issues and feelings so quickly.

This had all started off with grieving Todd, and somehow ended up with Lia confessing her stance on pro-choice, and everyone being angry with her.

"What?" she demanded, crossing her arms, and huffing in annoyance. "I'm Candor, get used to it! And all I'm saying is, I wouldn't want to put my child through the pains of growing up without a dad. I had a friend-... Eric?"

The blonde instructor had stood up, looming over the dark-haired girl with a scowl on his face. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and shook his head, before storming away up the stairs.

"What was that about?" Uriah asked nobody in particular, glancing between his friends, as they watched the young leader stalk away angrily.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Cordelia took the stairs three at a time, as she ran after the blue-eyed man. She didn't know what had made him so angry, but she knew it must have been her fault. She sprinted down the corridor that led to the young leader's apartment, and banged on the door, before trying the knob. It was locked.

Lia growled in frustration, as she turned and ran towards the training center. Eric wasn't in the training room. The dark-haired girl hurried up the stairs that led to the roof, and she expected to see the blonde-instructor leaning against the rail, but he wasn't there, either.

She sighed, in exasperation. _"Where did you go?"_

The Candor transfer resigned to seek out the brown-haired instructor, instead, and made her way through the halls towards the Pit. Four was there, talking to a small group of people, off to the side near the bar. She approached slowly, not wanting to disturb the other man in his free time.

"Something wrong?" he asked, when he noticed the amber-eyed girl standing awkwardly off to the side.

Lia bit her lip, and nodded her head, in confirmation. "Yeah, can I talk to you for a minute?" She scuffed the toe of her boot into the floor, as she stared at her feet.

Tobias found her behavior odd, and crossed his arms as he excused himself from his friends. He placed a hand, gently, between the Candor transfer's shoulder blades, as he guided her back into the corridor. "Now, tell me what's going on?"

Cordelia quickly explained what had happened, and her concern that the young leader was nowhere to be found. She also inquired if Four had any idea why the blonde had reacted that way.

"No, I honestly don't. But, I do know how we can find him," Tobias informed the dark-haired girl, gesturing for her to follow him. He led the way through the winding halls, all the way to the control room, where he worked when he wasn't training initiates.

"Take a seat," he gestured to the swivel chair beside him, as he took his own seat in front of the wall of monitors. Cordelia complied, quickly, and he showed her how to switch through the screens that captured almost every corner of the Dauntless compound.

"Check through the common areas, first," he explained, as he set to work flipping through the images that showed the roofs of the faction.

Lia did as instructed, not finding the blonde on any of the screens, and she sighed, in frustration, as she threw her head back.

"There!" Four announced, pointing to the monitor in front of him, with a grin, but his smile quickly fell. "He's... he's in the fear training room?"

The dark-haired girl leaned over to look, and sure enough, Eric was pacing back and forth in front of the doors to the simulation rooms. She watched intently, as the young leader apparently screamed, and punched the wall, before throwing open the door on the left, and storming inside.

Four stood quickly, and ran down the hall, Lia following closely at his heels. They weren't far from the simulation rooms, so it didn't take but a few minutes, before Tobias was throwing open the door to the room that Eric had entered.

The young leader was already under the simulation, his eyes moving rapidly under his closed eyelids. The only other movements that he made were his facial expressions, and to jump slightly, ever so often.

Cordelia and Four moved to watch the screen, and the dark-haired girl felt like they were intruding, but she couldn't help but be curious about the mysterious instructor's fears, and she wanted to catch him before he left, afterwards.

"He's on the last one, it won't take long," Four assured the Candor transfer, as they watched the young leader on the monitor.

" _Hello_?" Eric called out, in the simulation, as he reached his hands out to feel his surroundings. Lia could tell that he was in some sort of a wooden box, and that it was very dark. She also found it interesting that in this fear, Eric didn't have a stutter.

" _Somebody get me out of here_!" the young leader screamed, as he apparently panicked at his situation. Cordelia watched, with intrigue, as the blonde began to kick out at the wooden top, and eventually broke through the wood. Black dirt started to rain down on top of him, but he pushed through the surface, regardless, and pulled himself out of the ground. The dark-haired girl could tell that he had been in a coffin, in the ground, and she expected to see Eric sit up any moment now, as he was now above ground, gasping for air, in the simulation.

"It's changed," Four whispered, from beside Lia, throwing a glance at the young leader lying in the chair. "He's not done, yet."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 _As soon as Eric stood up from the broken ground where he had dug his way out of his grave, he was standing on a ledge above the Pit, and all eyes were on him. He turned his head to the right, to see Max standing there, with his arms folded, as he glared at him._

 _"Eric," he said, inclining his head towards the waiting crowd. "Don't embarrass me. You know what you have to do."_

 _The blonde swallowed thickly, as he turned to glance out over the waiting sea of faces, once again. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, so he turned to look at Max again, raising an eyebrow in question._

 _"Eric, don't make me say this again," the dark-skinned leader threatened, taking a step closer to the blue-eyed man. He dropped his voice to a low growl, as he continued. "Silence isn't useful, Eric."_

 _The blonde's icy-blue orbs went wide, with fear, at what his superior was suggesting. He wanted him to speak; to expose himself in front of all of Dauntless._

 _The young leader shook his head, slowly, and Max took another intimidating step towards him. "Eric-... Maddy?"_

 _That made Eric turn around quickly, his eyes going wide when he took in the state of his fiance._

 _The willowly girl had the same short, pink hair that he remembered, and her green eyes released fat tears that trailed down her cheeks. Her mocha complexion was slightly pale, and her hands were covered in blood._

 _The blonde was so concerned about Maddy, that he let his guard down to express his concern. He rushed over to her, fear in his eyes, as his blue orbs searched his fiance's. He grabbed her wrists, gently, and scrutinized the red, sticky substance._

 _"W- w- what, what h- happened, happened?"_

 _The dark-skinned girl's face twisted in disgust, and Eric knew he had made a mistake._

 _"Roland got shot," she scoffed, pushing away from the blonde, roughly. "You're retarded, aren't you?"_

 _A loud chorus of laughter reached the young leader's ears, and he turned to see everyone in the Pit pointing, and laughing at him._

 _Eric set his mouth in a thin line, a scowl on his face. "N- n- no."_

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _"Eric! Eric! Guess what?!"_

 _The young leader had been sitting on his couch, reading a book, when his fiance burst through the door with a wide grin on her face. He stood, quickly, and opened his arms to catch Maddy when she ran towards him. He embraced her, lovingly, before pulling back to raise a pierced eyebrow at her in question._

 _"We're having a baby!" she squealed in delight, as she started jumping up and down._

 _Eric's eyes had gone wide, before his face broke out into an expression of pure joy. He grabbed the mocha-skinned girl by the waist, picking her up, and spinning her around before setting her back on her feet, and kissing her, sweetly._

 _There was a knock on the door, then, and he offered his fiance an apologetic smile, before going to answer it._

 _Cobra was stood in his doorway, with a grim expression on his face. "Eric, Maddy, I've got some bad news," he informed the happy couple, as the young leader moved aside to allow him entry. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it, and leave you two alone."_

 _The older man took a deep breath, and sighed. "Eric, your tests came back, and it's not what we thought. You've got a Chronic Subdural Hematoma, which basically means a brain hemorhage. And there's not going to be anything I can do."_

 _"What?" Maddy spoke up, with wide eyes, as she shook her head. "What the hell does that mean?"_

 _"Eric-... it means that you're going to die. I don't know when, but these things can change overnight. Some people have gone twenty years with your condition, some, only a few minutes. I'm sorry."_

 _The young leader didn't notice when the doctor left, as he shared a long, sorrowful glance with the love of his life. He noticed when her expression changed, and it scared him. It terrified him._

 _"Eric, I-... I don't think I can do this," Maddy whispered, dropping her arms loosely by her sides. "I can't watch you die. I-... I'm sorry, Eric."_  
 _Eric could only stare at the place his fiance had been previously standing, as she hurried past him and out the door. He was in shock_.

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _Eric walked into the salon, slowly, and tentatively approached his ex-fiance. He reached in his back pocket to pull out his pad and pen, and he quickly scribbled his message to the mocha-skinned girl: I just wanted to make sure you were okay. How's the baby?_

 _The pink-haired girl read the note, and sighed, deeply. "Eric, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that by myself."_

 _The blonde raised his eyebrow in question, a sense of dread washing over his body in waves, as his breathing picked up, and Maddy disappeared, and in her place stood Lia._

 _"Eric, I had it terminated. I didn't want it growing up without a father, and I-... I just couldn't do it," the dark-haired girl informed him, bluntly._

 _The blue-eyed man swallowed thickly, his heart picking up speed, as it thumped in his ears. He didn't stand around to hear anymore. Eric bolted out of the salon, and ran through the Pit to the stairs, sprinting the rest of the way to his apartment._

 _He dropped to the floor on his knees once he was inside, finally allowing the tears to fall. He screamed in despair, and anger, and proceeded to tear his home apart._

 _He flipped the couch, and threw a lamp through the window, before he pushed his bookshelf over, the many different manuscripts falling to the floor before being covered by the wooden shelf. He ripped the pictures of him and Maddy off the walls, before he stomped on them with booted feet. With a cry of anguish, Eric threw all of his dishes against the wall, the porcelain shattering to pieces and falling to the floor._

 _That's when it hit him._

 _He dropped to the floor again, only this time, it was the searing pain in his head that caused him to do so. He held his head in his hands, and fought to keep consciousness as the excruciating pain threatened to steal his vision, as bright spots danced in front of his eyes._

 _It didn't last long, but it was more than enough._

 _When it was over, he broke down, sobbing on the floor. He didn't understand how Maddy could leave him for why she did, and even more confusing, was how she could willingly kill their unborn child because of him._

 _The young leader picked himself up off the floor, and stalked, determinedly, to his bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror with a look of disgust, before opening the medicine cabinet. The blue-eyed man pulled out a box with several, long blades; razor blades._

 _He heard a knock on the door, and then Lauryn's voice calling out to him. "Eric? Eric? It's Lauryn, can you open up?"_

 _The blonde didn't waste anymore time, he simply held one of the blades firmly in his right hand, and dragged it down the length of his forearm, before repeating the action on the other arm. He threw the bloody razor blade in the sink, and watched as the blood pulsed out of his veins, his vision fading, and his breathing labored._

 _He felt himself falling, and he could hear the front door open, before he heard Lauryn's frantic words near his head. "Eric? Eric?! Wake up! Oh my God! Help!"_


	14. Chapter Twelve - Shaken: Part 2

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! So sorry to leave you hanging! I was going to put this up last night, but I had company;) And then, I was going to post this morning, but my son got sick and needed me, and then after lunch it started storming and the electricity went out:/ But it's working now, and I'm so glad I can finally post this! I think you're really going to like the end of this chapter! Don't worry, there is still much, much more to come! :)

So, I know this isn't as in-depth as I usually go, but I wanted to go ahead and get this up, so I'm just gonna do a quick shoutout to all my loyal reviewers! :) Thank you all so much!

 **JohnnyStormsGirl, RisughXD, Lauren, Guest, Nephica, Murmelinchen, mona-rose, interdictum in aeternum, Feigningintrest, EvieLyn, Sasha, orangeporqupine, Electric Blue Reader, NL92, and Simana!**

Thank you all so much your reviews! And some of you already reviewed Part 1! I love all you guys so much! Thanks for making my days with your reviews! For any new readers, please review! I love to hear from you, and I usually respond to everyone who does:) This has just been a weird couple of days, lol:)

 **So, without further ado...**

Eric woke up hyperventilating, gripping the arms of the metal chair so tight, that his knuckles turned white. He had three new fears, that weren't there before. He had almost expected it, but he needed to know for sure. It took him a few minutes to realize that he was no longer alone in the simulation room, and it was Lia's touch that brought that fact to his attention.

As soon as Eric's simulation went black, the dark-haired girl had ran to the young leader's side, grabbing his arm and scrutinizing what little skin was visibile under his intricate, maze-like tattoo. There was definitely a scar there, and she knew that there would be a scar on the other one, as well.

Cordelia looked up into Eric's somber, icy-blue orbs, her heart breaking at the pain in the depths of his eyes. "I didn't mean what I said... in that way," she explained, quietly, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "The last two... they were memories, weren't they?"

The blonde simply lowered his gaze, blinking rapidly to prevent the tears that threatened to fall. He refused to look weak. "Y- yes," he confessed, softly, much quieter than he'd intended to. The next thing he knew, Eric was pulled into a crushing embrace from the dark-haired girl, but he was too shaken up to return the gesture.

"Eric," Tobias had moved to the young leader's other side, placing a hand on the blue-eyed instructor's shoulder. "I would ask why you didn't tell me Maddy was pregnant, but it's pretty obvious. I just want to beg you to please not put us through a repeat of that night."

The blonde didn't say anything; he didn't trust himself enough to not say something he would regret later. Lia still had her arms around his waist, so he slowly brought his arms around her, returning the hug, awkwardly.

"I'm so sorry," Cordelia whispered into his neck, squeezing Eric tighter. She felt so guilty for her words back in the dining hall; if she had known, she wouldn't have said anything, no matter her opinion. "I promise I won't leave you, unless you want me too."

The blue-eyed man shook his head, unable to believe that this Candor transfer had stolen his heart in the short time that they had known each other. It didn't make sense to him; they weren't even in an official relationship, and had been together for only a few days.

"Wait, wait, wait," Four's eyes went wide, and he held his hands up to emphasize. "You two? You guys are a thing?" Tobias couldn't wrap his mind around that one.

It was Lia who answered, though she didn't release her hold on the young leader. "I-, I think so," she responded, frowning a bit. She wasn't sure if Eric wanted to be in a real relationship with her, or if he was just attracted to her, and was more interested in the physical aspects that came with those sorts of things. "I don't really know."

The blonde could hear the slight disappointment in the amber-eyed girl's voice; he could tell that she clearly wanted to be, but was unsure. He knew that he wanted to be with her, even if he couldn't comprehend why he felt that way, so soon. He pushed back a bit, so he could gaze into Lia's glistening, amber orbs, noticing the uncertainty that they held. "L- l- lia, Lia, y- you really, really w- want t- t- to, to b- be w- w- with m- me? E- even th- th- though y- you kn- kn- know, know th- that I- I'm, I'm d- dying?"

The dark-haired girl grimaced, in agitation; just because his ex-fiance had left him because of his terminal condition, didn't mean that she would. "Eric, I like you... a lot, actually. Probably more than I should, but... I liked you before I knew any of this; before I even knew you had a stutter. If you really care for somebody, then those things don't change your feelings," she had spoken in a hushed tone, forcing her Candor snarkiness to stay hidden. What she had really wanted to say, was: 'That's a stupid question; I'm not like the bitch that left you! I'm offended that you would even think that!'. _"Yeah, it's a good thing I didn't say that..."_ she thought, as she waited patiently for the blue-eyed man to reply.

Eric wasn't sure what to think of Lia's answer; he was pleased that she returned his feelings, even if he was unsure of the extent of those feelings. He felt as though it was selfish to allow someone to get so close to him, but Lia's outburst in the training room the other day flooded his memory. She wanted him to be selfish.

"S- so, wh- wh- what a- are we, are we th- th- then?" the blonde inquired, softly. Tobias watched the exchange of words, feeling very uncomfortable, as he was almost certain that they had forgotten he was present. It was a shock, but Four wanted Eric to be happy, even if that meant being with an initiate; he deserved it.

"Well..." Cordelia began, shifting her eyes down, and pursing her pink lips as she thought. "I guess, after initiation, we could be... official? Like, girlfriend and boyfriend, or something?"

In spite of having to relive two of the worst moments in his life, a smile found it's way to Eric's face, his crystal-blue orbs twinkling. "Def- def- def- definitely," he said, staring into the dark-haired girl's amber eyes, once again noticing the gold flecks that sparkled, and shimmered.

Cordelia shared the gaze, getting lost in the young leader's crystal-blues, the silver flecks spotting his irises shining like stars. She was pleasantly surprised when the blonde suddenly pressed his lips to hers, gently moving his mouth with her own. She gladly returned the kiss, and she felt like Eric was attempting to convey his feelings for her through it, and it was tender, but intense.

"Oh my god, get a room!" Four covered his eyes with his arm, feeling extremely awkward being present for the unusual display of affection. Even when Eric and Maddy had been together, they weren't very public. It was rare to even see the two holding hands, and they never did anything more in front of anybody; most people weren't even aware that they were in a relationship, much less engaged.

The young leader pulled away from the dark-haired girl, turning to Four, with slightly widened eyes. "I- I f- f- forgot, forgot y- you w- were in, in, in h- here," he informed the brown-haired instructor, honestly. "D- did you, did you n- n- need s- some- something?"

Tobias scoffed, shaking his head a bit, incredulously. "Just to make sure you were okay," he replied, shifting his weight to one leg, as he crossed his arms over his chest. Four recalled his conversation with Cobra, and his face fell. "Actually, there is something else I need to tell you."

"Do I need to step out?" Lia asked, biting her lip as she looked to the blue-eyed man, who was giving her other instructor a nervous, quizzical expression.

"S- s- stay," the blonde responded, with a small smile. He didn't like the look on Tobias' face, but he didn't want the dark-haired girl to go, either. The more he was around Lia, the more he wanted to be.

"Okay, look," Four started, swallowing thickly, afraid of how Eric, or Lia, would react. "After what happened... that episode you had? In the training room? Uh..."

"G- g- get o- on w- with it, T- t- tobias," Eric snapped, growing impatient; he knew this wasn't going to be pleasant, and he just wanted Four to spit it out and get it over with, quickly.

"I'm gonna forget that you just called me that, _Everett_ ," the brown-haired man retorted, with a raised eyebrow, smirking as he received a deadly glare from the blue-eyed leader. "Anyway, me and Lauryn told Cobra-."

"Th- that w- wasn't, wasn't y- y- your b- bus-, your business!" the blonde growled, his lips pulling into a snarl. Now he was really worried about whatever Four had to say, and he couldn't help but lash out.

"Well, you'll have to forgive me, because I got _scared_ Eric!" Tobias' words, and his admission of fear, caused the young leader to soften his features. "In case you didn't notice, we care about you! Even if you are an asshole most of the time! Now shut up, and let me get this out, because it's not fucking easy!"

The brown-haired instructor was trembling with a mixture of nervousness, and rage; even after everything... Eric still thought that nobody cared about what happened to him, and Tobias couldn't understand it. His eyes flashed to the Candor transfer, briefly, and she appeared to be concerned to say the least. Eric was giving him an apologetic expression, and guilt riddled his defined features.

Four sighed, exhaling loudly, as he slumped his shoulders. "To simplify this, Cobra wants to do some tests, and run a few more scans."

The young leader frowned, as he scrutinzed his friend's face, concluding that there was more to this. "I- is, is th- th- that, is that a- all h- he, he s- s- said?" Eric noticed how Tobias' jaw tightened, the muscles in his neck tensing up.

"I'd rather not talk about it until we receive the results, which by the way, you need to do as soon as possible," the brown-haired instructor wanted to avoid revealing the doctor's opinion, and the fact that the older man had consulted with another doctor at Erudite.

Eric felt like he had been slapped; he was pretty good at reading between the lines. "An- an- and, i- if I- I- I, if I w- were t- to, were to w- wait, s- say a f- f- few w- weeks?" he pressed, seeking confirmation of his assessment that his time might be shorter than he realized. The blonde had resigned himself to the fact that he was dying, but after the amount of time that had already passed, it didn't cross his mind in the same way. When Eric first heard the diagnosis, he felt like he was walking on glass, afraid that he would keel over at any second. Now, several months later, he tended to see his death taking years; a long, drawn out process.

Before Tobias even uttered his reply, Eric knew, just from the grim expression on his friend's face. "I would actually go today."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Cordelia sat out in the waiting room of the infirmary while Eric was in the back; he had been in there for hours, and it was nearing dinner time. Tobias had stayed with her, as Eric hadn't wanted anyone to go in the room with him, and for the most part, they sat in silence.

After the third hour, Lia couldn't bear the silence anymore, and decided to strike up a conversation, hoping to gain a little more insight into the young leader's past.

"So," she started, slowly, twiddling her thumbs in her lap, as she turned to face the brown-haired man. "Everett, huh? I can see why he changed his name."

Four chuckled, nervously, knowing that the blonde was going to chew him out for that one. "Yeah, a lot of people take new names, here. Most of us prefer to leave our past, in the past. But, Eric didn't exactly _change_ his name; Eric is his middle name."

"Middle name?" Cordelia inquired, tilting her head to the side in confusion. She didn't know what a middle name was. Candor was very black and white, and everyone she knew had only a first name, and a last name.

"Yeah, it's something that Erudite does," Four explained, leaning down in his chair. It was something that Tobias had learned as well, when he transferred, as Abnegation didn't use middle names, either. "I guess they think it makes them seem smarter."

"Eric was a transfer? From _Erudite_?" the dark-haired girl was intrigued; she would have sworn that the young leader was Dauntless-born.

"You know he's going to kill me for telling you all this shit, right?" Four informed the amber-eyed girl, with a serious look on his face.

"Well, can I ask something else, then?" Cordelia was hesitant, but she wanted to know, and her curious mind overruled her common sense. The brown-eyed instructor gestured for her to proceed, and she took a deep breath, before asking, "When did he meet Maddy? How long were they together? When did they get engaged? Did she know that-?"

"Slow down there, Candor," Tobias wasn't prepared for that, but, he figured he should probably be used to these bursts that the transfer had displayed many times, already. "One at a time, alright? Please don't repeat this, okay?"

The dark-haired girl nodded, pleased that she would be receiving answers, and Four continued. "He met her during our initiation, almost three years ago, and they bumped heads a lot. After initiation, they became more civil, and eventually it turned into something else. Eric had asked her to marry him just before the next year's new batch of initiates arrived, and she even stayed with him after his accident, which in about a week, will have been two years ago.

"I personally found it odd that she didn't visit him while he was in a coma, she didn't even come for about five days after he woke up. Regardless, she stayed with him for a while, after that. We found out about Eric's... condition, about eight months ago, and she left him. I didn't know Maddy was pregnant; Eric didn't tell me, and he didn't tell Lauryn, either, or she would have told me. He never did tell us why he... that night? But, I never would have guessed that that was the reason...

"It was awful. I thought we were too late... he got thirty-two staples in his left arm, and thirty-six staples in his right arm, and he lost a lot of blood. He wouldn't even write us those stupid notes for about a month after that."

Cordelia sat patiently, listening to her brown-haired instructor vent. She hadn't asked about the young leader's suicide attempt, but apparently, it was on Four's mind. "What did-."

"Four."

Tobias and Lia stood, quickly, when the older, grey-haired man spoke from the door. His expression was hard for either of them to decipher, but he wasn't happy, to say the least.

"What is she doing here?" Cobra inquired, veering off his original mission, when he saw the dark-haired girl that he had treated only days ago.

"Uh..." Four scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. "She's Eric's... girlfriend? Or something?"

The older man's eyes went wide, but he quickly masked his face again. "I guess you can both follow me, then," the doctor conceded, leading the small group into one of the back rooms, but it wasn't an examination room, it was more of an office, than anything. Cobra gestured for his guests to take a seat, and they complied, as he sat behind his desk.

"In case you don't know, Lia," the older man began, clasping his hands together in front of him. "I'm blunt, and get straight to the point; I don't sugar coat anything, or give out false hope. That said..." The doctor leaned back in his seat, with his mouth set into a thin line.

"It will be a miracle if Eric survives the next month."

The doctor chose to ignore the gasps from Four and Cordelia, and continued speaking what he needed to say. "I've already told him. And, I need to warn you about these episodes; you could compare them to contractions that mother's experience during labor. They will only get worse, and more frequent, and longer in duration. He may faint, or even go into seizures during these fits. Memory loss and temporary psychosis are also a possibility, not to mention he may also experience bleeding from the nose or ears."

"Where is he? Why isn't he in here, now?" Tobias demanded, angry at the situation, and angry at himself for not being able to do anything.

"That's what took so long," Cobra admitted, rubbing his eyes roughly with his hands. He was tired; exhausted. He started to wonder why he became a doctor; he didn't realize that the hardest part of his profession, would be relaying bad news. "He had an episode, and a nose-bleed followed. You can go see him; I think he's accepted the reality of the situation."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The next morning, Eric felt a bit better, and decided to join Lia for breakfast. On his way down to the cafeteria, he couldn't help but think about what little time he had left.

A month.

Maybe.

Strangely enough, the news didn't surprise him; somehow, he already knew that his time was running out, quickly. He had so many regrets, and had made so many mistakes in his short life. He wondered if it was because of those mistakes, that he had been cursed by fate.

Now that he had been given a time frame, Eric thought back to the many hopes, and dreams that he held, when he was younger. Those hopes and dreams were still there, somewhere, but he knew that he would never see any of them come to pass. He had wanted to be a soldier, and sure, that lasted for a little while, but after his accident, Max had pulled his patrol from the field. A family was out of the question, though it had almost happened for him.

He entered the dining hall, and spotted Lia sitting at her usual table, and made a beeline for her. He slid in beside the dark-haired girl, offering her a small smile, which she attempted to return, and failed.

"Are we suspected of doing something illegal, or something?" Uriah inquired, earning him a kick in the ankle from the purple-haired girl. "What?! He always sits alone! You don't think it's weird that this is the second day in a row that he sits here?"

"Shut up, Uri!" Violet growled, noticing the irritated expressions on both Lia's, and the young leader's, faces. "Hey, you guys wanna listen to the new one? It came in late last night." The purple-haired girl grinned; the new song was her new favorite.

Cordelia felt Eric shifting uncomfortably beside her, and she realized that he was self-conscious; probably because he was sitting right here, and she would hear it. Everyone else agreed, excitedly; listening to the mystery musician's new releases had become their thing.

"This one's a little different, though; it's awesome!" Violet informed the group, oblivious to the blonde instructor's nervous glances to her Candor friend. She placed the CD into the player, turning up the volume all the way.

 _ **If I had my way,**_

 _ **I'd spend every day right by your side**_

 _ **And if I could stop time,**_

 _ **Believe me I'd try for you and I**_

Cordelia turned her head, quickly, to stare at the young leader beside her, with her lips parted. She knew he had written this song for her. Eric wouldn't make eye contact though, and was currently staring at the table in front of him.

 _ **And each moment you're gone,**_

 _ **Is a moment too long in my life**_

 _ **So stay right here, right now**_

 _ **'Cause without you I'm a disaster**_

 _ **The moment you go**_

 _ **And you're my ever after**_

 _ **Just thought you should know**_

The dark-haired girl grabbed the blonde's hand under the table, squeezing tightly, and fought against the tears that threatened to spill. She could tell that the young leader was nervous; he still wouldn't look at her, which only confirmed for Lia that this song was her's.

 _ **'Cause I need to know your answer**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I want you to say you're gonna stay with me**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I die every day that you're away from me**_

The Candor transfer squeezed Eric's hand even tighter, willing him to look at her. Very hesitantly, the blue-eyed man did turn his face towards Cordelia, and she held his gaze with a small smile on her face.

 _ **If the world ceased to spin,**_

 _ **You could start it again with just one smile**_

 _ **If the seas turn to sand**_

 _ **With the wave of your hand it would rain for miles**_

 _ **But the thought of you gone,**_

 _ **Makes everything wrong in my life**_

 _ **So stay right here, right now**_

Eric started to think that maybe he should've waited to release his latest work; he was so nervous. But, now that Lia held his gaze, he couldn't break away from it. He hoped that she understood what he was saying with the lyrics, and he hoped he hadn't made a mistake.

The only reason he needed her to know right now, was because time was running out, and he didn't want to leave things unspoken. Sure, maybe it hadn't been love at first sight, but it happened quickly, nonetheless.

 _ **'Cause without you I'm a disaster**_

 _ **the moment you go**_

 _ **And you're my ever after**_

 _ **Just thought you should know**_

 _ **'Cause I need to know your answer**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I want you to say you're gonna stay with me**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I die every day that you're**_

 _ **My heart breaks with every beat,**_

 _ **I can't explain what you do to me**_

 _ **So just say you'll promise me,**_

The dark-haired girl felt like she was going to melt; she was overwhelmed. She hadn't realized that her instructor felt this strongly about her, but the longing in his silver-flecked, blue orbs confirmed it. She was glad he felt the same way.

 _ **Please, take me if you ever leave**_

 _ **But the thought of you gone**_

 _ **Makes everything wrong in my life**_

 _ **So stay right here, right now**_

The blonde couldn't tell what was going through Lia's head, but he could tell that she knew the song was for her. He was terrified of what she would say, or what she would do. His heart began to beat at a frantic pace, and he felt like he might be sick, if he had to wait much longer for some sort of reaction.

 _ **'Cause without you I'm a disaster**_

 _ **the moment you go**_

 _ **And you're my ever after**_

 _ **Just thought you should know**_

 _ **'Cause I need to know your answer**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I want you to say you're gonna stay with me**_

 _ **Just say you'll stay with me**_

 _ **I die every day that you're away from me**_

 _ **So just say you'll promise me,**_

 _ **Please, take me if you ever leave**_

 _ **My heart breaks with every beat,**_

 _ **I die every day that you're away from me****_

"Well," Marc piped up, raising his eyebrows. "I think our mystery musician fell in love."

Cordelia couldn't contain herself anymore, and she knew she would probably catch the heat for it later. No sooner had the words left the Amity boy's mouth, than the dark-haired girl threw her arms around the young leader's neck, and kissed him passionately.

Eric's eyes widened in shock, but he didn't pull away, and looked at Lia's closed eyelids, her long, dark lashes falling against her pale cheeks, before he closed his eyes, as well, and returned the kiss. His lips moved against her soft, full mouth with an urgency, as he cupped her face with his hands.

"Am I missing something, here?" Uriah asked, glancing at the shocked faces of his friends, who all stared at their leader and fellow initiate, with wide eyes and open mouths. "Because, I'm pretty fucking sure I'm missing something."

 _ ****Without You - My Darkest Days**_


	15. Chapter Thirteen - Peer Pressure

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so this one fear I was gonna do, involved worms and maggots, and I just couldn't finish writing it without throwing up. Like literally, throwing up, so I decided not to do it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this little chapter:) Thanks to all of my lovely reviewers!

 **sharonmayes353**

I know! It makes me want to cry too! And yeah that song is one of my faves as well:) Thanks for reviewing! Hope to hear more from you:)

 **mona-rose**

Yeah, I just thought that was so... URIAH, lol:) And, I can't say anything about the other;)

 **interdictum in aeternum**

Well, Eric's not really training them so much as simply overseeing the training, lol:) and of course, there isn't much for him to do in stage two, except for oversee the final fear landscapes with the rest of the leaders:) I promise you there's much much more story left to go! And I can't say anything about the other! :) Thanks so much for the review! :)

 **RisughXD**

omg omg omg, I am so so so glad you love this so much! I know, i feel like my heart is breaking sometimes when i write this too:( Thank you so much for all the awesome compliments:) And yes, he is still fussy, but he's feeling much better:)

 **orangeporqupine**

Thank for thinking it was amazing! I hope he lives a long life too! But, only time will tell... :D thanks for the review! :)

 **Feigningintrest**

Awe:( Here, let me get it out *wipes away tear*, thank you so much for the review, and here's more! :)

 **zammy156**

I like happy endings too! I can't make any promises right now though... you know how it is, don't want to spoil anything:) thanks so much for the review! :)

 **NL92**

I hope so too:) Thank you so much for the review, and here's the next! :)

 **Electric Blue Reader**

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you find the amusing parts amusing! :)

 **Simana**

Thank you so much:) I'm glad you like the balance:) Thank you so much for reviewing:)

Once again, thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers! Welcome to new readers, and just so you know, I love to get your guys' feedback! So don't forget to fave/follow/review and stay tuned for more TSOS! :) hope you all like this one:) xoxo

 **Here it is:)**

"Eric."

The young leader pulled away from Lia, reluctantly, and turned to find Max standing right behind him. The reality of what had just happened dawned on him, as he took in the shocked expressions of everyone in the dining hall, and he felt his cheeks burn red.

"A word, please," the dark-skinned man ordered, as he spun on his heel and headed through the exit. Eric watched him go, before turning back to the table again; he needed a moment to compose himself.

The blonde felt like he might be sick; he knew he was going to be in a lot of trouble, and might even face criminal charges.

 _"The fuck have I done?!"_

Cordelia sensed the distress of the blue-eyed man, and placed a comforting hand on his back, rubbing up and down, soothingly. "Eric, it's gonna be okay," she said, attempting to convince her instructor that it would work out alright. "I think Max will understand, given the fact that you only have-... I mean, um... I think Max will understand."

Eric scoffed, and roughly shoved away from the table, as he proceeded to follow his superior. He was Dauntless. He would accept responsibility for his actions.

Lia watched him go with a small frown on her face, before she turned back around and rested her chin on her folded arms on the table. It was then that she noticed that Marc, Sassy, Violet and Uriah were all staring at her, dumbfounded. "What?"

"What do you mean, what?" Marc finally spoke up, incredulously, as he shook his head. "What the hell was that, Lia?"

"Seriously," Uriah cut in, leaning forward to see her better. "I mean, you just made out with a leader!"

"And he didn't stop you!" Sassy exclaimed, using her hands for emphasis. "What is going on?"

Cordelia and Violet remained quiet during the interrogation, calmly waiting for the others to calm down. Once they were all looking to her expectantly, she cleared her throat, and attempted to avoid their gazes. "Yeah, I can't really talk about it," she sighed, sadly, wishing that she was able to share her feelings, and her fears, with her closest friends.

"What do you mean, you can't really talk about it?!" Marc stood, crossing his arms over his chest, and Lia had to admit, the timid, ginger-haired boy from Amity had grown into quite the Dauntless soldier. "Did he hurt you? 'Cause if he did-."

"No!" the amber-eyed girl snapped, offended that the freckled man had jumped to such a conclusion. "We just-, I mean, I-... It's not my place to tell secrets that aren't my own."

The blue-haired girl pulled Marc back onto the bench beside her, and he rested his chin on her shoulder, in a way so that he could still see Lia. "We are extremely confused, Lia," Sassy admitted, reaching out to grab the dark-haired girl's hand. "We are a pack; we're like brothers and sisters. You can tell us anything, and you know we won't go blabbing."

"I know, just-."

"No," Uriah shook his head, as he slammed his fist down on the table top in agitation. "No, we know just as much about what just happened as everyone else, now! We deserve answers!"

Cordelia felt overwhelmed; she didn't know to do, now. She didn't want to let her friends down, and she didn't want to let Eric down. She struggled to think of how much she should tell them, if she could muster up the courage to tell them anything. She was concerned that Eric would be upset if she revealed too much, and at the same time, she wanted to spill everything to her friends.

Violet noticed the inner battle going through the amber-eyed girl's mind, and leaned over to whisper in Uriah's ear. "Uri," she said, quietly. "Run by Bud's, and get an ounce of Tangerine Dream, then pick up my bong from under the counter in my dad's shop; meet us on the roof."

The darker-skinned boy grinned, from ear to ear, and hurried to comply.

"Lia, why don't we go somewhere more... private," the purple-haired girl suggested, a suspicious smirk on her bright, red lips.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"I agreed to let you fool around with an initiate, and this is how you repay me?" Max was seething; he was absolutely furious, and his words were raised to almost a shout.

Eric cringed inwardly, at the angered outburst, and rubbed his face with his hands, in frustration. "L- l- look, i- it's, it's n- not-."

The dark-skinned leaders eyes went wide; he hadn't heard the blonde utter a word since he found out that his stutter was a permanent thing. "Eric," he said, slowly, a confused expression gracing his features. "You are talking."

The young leader looked down at his hands, briefly, before meeting his superior's gaze. "I- I, I kn- kn- know." The blue-eyed instructor felt warm all of a sudden, and his forehead began to perspire, and he wiped his arm across the slick skin to dry it. He was self-conscious.

"This initiate, she's the cause of this?" Max pressed, still unable to wrap his mind around the fact that the reclusive, and silent, man before him was speaking for the first time in almost two years.

"Y- yes."

"Alright," the older man conceded, throwing his hands in the air, and leaning back against his desk, a small smile on his face.

Eric frowned, unsure of what Max was telling him. "A- a- alright, alright wh- what?"

"Alright, you are off the hook. You won't be receiving any punishment, but you better start talking."

The blonde gaped at the older man; he had expected to receive severe punishment, as relations with an initiate was strictly forbidden, and was a crime that brought time in solitary confinement in a cell under the compound. He swallowed, to gather courage, before he launched into his story. He told Max about how Lia had annoyed him at first, and seemed to push all his buttons. The young leader explained that, at some point, he grew to respect the Candor transfer, and then came attraction.

Eric told his leader everything; sparing no details, even when we revealed about his ever-closer death, and the reason for what happened in the cafeteria.

"Son," Max sighed, when the blonde had finished stammering out his story. "I don't really know what to say. I thought you had longer; or it was just wishful thinking. But, I'll make you a deal, alright?"

The blue-eyed instructor cocked his head to the side, nervous, and curious about what the dark-skinned man would offer. "Wh- what, what k- k- kind o-, kind of d- deal?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The bong passed to Lia again, and she accepted it, greedily. Uriah had packed a small amount of the citrusy green bud in the bowl for her, and she held the small flame from the lighter to the substance, as she placed her lips over the wide, round opening at the top of the long, black neck of the glass.

She inhaled deeply, watching the smoke enter the transparent tube, swirling up to the top, before she held the harmful smoke in her lungs. She exhaled deeply, a large cloud escaping her lips, and enhanced by the dazzling sunlight that curved around the dense wisps.

"So then, we found out he only has a month left," she informed her friends, as she passed the bong back to Uriah for him to pack, before handing it off to Sassy. "And, I knew he wrote that song for me! Did you hear it? It was so beautiful!"

"Yeah, we heard it," Uriah said, with a small frown on his face, that was quickly replaced by a sparkling, white grin. "Damn, Lia, this is all really messed up!"

"So that's why he never says anything?" Marc inquired, accepting the large, glass pipe from the blue-haired girl. He inhaled deeply, and attempted to speak while he still held the smoke in his lungs, making his words sound strained, and slightly squeaky. "I tried to tell you a while ago that there could've been another reason. I tried to tell you about the boy I knew in Amity; he had a stutter."

Cordelia couldn't help but giggle at her ginger-haired friend, as he coughed harshly, the smoke floating up into the sky before disapating. She was glad she had confided in her friends, but at the same time, she was worried what would happen if Eric found out. Unfortunately, that was to happen sooner than she had hoped.

Uriah had the bong, now, and nearly choked when he inhaled too deeply, the disgusting, soured bong water entering his mouth. The unpleasant taste was nearly as unpleasant as the expression on the dark-haired girl's face when he pointed behind her.

Lia snapped her head around, to find Eric glaring down at her, while she stared up at him, with her mouth open. The two didn't speak, or waver in their gaze, though the blonde's features softened, ever so slightly, when he saw the fear in Cordelia's amber orbs.

"Want a hit?" Uriah asked, forcing a goofy grin, as he attempted to break the awkward tension permeating from the unconventional couple.

The blonde raised an eyebrow at Zeke's brother, before scowling, and snatching the bong out of his hands. He could tell from the looks he was currently receiving, that Lia's friends thought he would throw it over the side of the roof. Instead, he sat down beside the dark-haired girl, and inspected the glass pipe, with a curious expression.

He had seen Zeke use a bong before, and Four and Lauryn were regular stoners. So, he felt pretty confident that he knew what to do with it. He decided that he wasn't holding back anymore; that stopped, now. Max had requested several things of him, in order for him to continue his relationship with Lia, since it was out in the open. One of those things, was to let loose, and do "whatever the hell you want", to quote the dark-skinned leader.

So, with that on his mind, he hesitantly lit the small bundle of green, inhaling slowly. His eyes went wide at first, and he quickly handed the bong back to Uriah, before he felt his eyes droop, and the corners of his mouth turn up into a goofy, lopsided grin.

He started to laugh, but quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, shifting his eyes to look at Lia, who was apparently also trying not to laugh. They both failed miserably, and the young leader fell backwards from laughing so hard, while Cordelia took to clutching her stomach, and rolling around on the floor.

This started a chorus of laughter from Uriah, Sassy, Marc and Violet, even though the purple-haired girl wasn't partaking in the smoke, and only received a light, contact buzz.

"Wh- wh- whoa..." the blonde drawled, lazily, his blue orbs taking on a dreamy haze, as he held his hands up, staring at the light that beamed between his fingers from the sun. "L- l- look, look a- at th- the l- l- light..."

"Eric!" Cordelia stopped laughing, and stared at the blue-eyed man in shock. There was no way that he realized what he had just done. Was there? She giggled, when Eric turned his head to look at her, with a smile on his face, but he quickly got to his feet, his eyes going wide with child-like wonder.

The young leader pulled Lia to her feet, as he gazed into her wide, amber orbs, and it felt like he was gazing into her soul. "L- l- look at, look at y- your ey- ey- eyes..." he said, and even he could hear the amazement that dripped from his voice. Eric grabbed her hands in his, gently, his gaze falling momentarily to her lips, before he went back to staring at the gold flecks in her amber eyes.

Cordelia lost herself in Eric's eyes, as well, gazing lovingly into the crystal, blue depths flecked with silver. His eyes appeared to have small amounts of glitter, and once again, she thought they resembled the twinkling stars in the night sky. She sighed, dreamily, as she held the young leader's intense gaze.

The blonde leaned in slowly, tilting his head down so Lia wouldn't have to stand on her toes, and tenderly pressed his lips to hers. She returned the kiss, eagerly, and Eric smiled as he continued to move his mouth against the dark-haired girl's full, pink lips. He bit down, ever so gently, on her bottom lip, earning a pleased moan from Cordelia, before sliding his tongue along her bottom lip, begging entrance.

Lia happily allowed her instructor to explore her mouth, sliding and swirling her tongue together with his, as the blonde deepened the kiss. She whimpered when he pulled back, only to have him grab her silky, dark-brown hair, and yank her head to the side with a growl, as he pressed feather light kisses along her fair jawline.

Eric trailed his tongue up to the lobe of her left ear, earning several, small moans of pleasure from the dark-haired girl, as he sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin. He licked up to the crest of Lia's small, round ear, before blowing a soft breath of hot air inside her air, causing the smaller girl to shiver.

Several throats cleared, and when Eric turned to look at Lia's friends, with the dark-haired girl peaking around his large form, they were all grinning wickedly. The young leader grabbed Cordelia's small, thin hand in his own larger, calloused ones, and led her to sit back down with the group.

"Man, I can't believe a fucking celebrity is smoking with a bunch of dumb-ass initiates!" Uriah exclaimed, his dark, brown eyes crinkling at the corners, as he slapped his leg, shaking his head. "Smoking _my_ strain, too!"

"Uri, you did this?" Marc inquired, with wide eyes, the sun glinting off of his bright, ginger hair in the early morning light. "You would have fit in so well at Amity."

"Yeah, my big bro runs Bud's, ya' know?" Uriah informed the group. Somehow, they had all ended up in a circle, with Lia to Eric's right, Marc to Eric's left, Sassy to Marc's left, then Uriah, then Violet, who sat to Cordelia's right. They continued to pass the bong around the circle, and it made it's way back into the darker-skinned boy's hands. "It was just a matter of cross-hybridation, and it only takes about sixty-five days to bud!"

It was the young leader's turn to widen his eyes at Zeke's brother's comment. "Y- y- you w- would-, you would've d- done w- w- well a- at, at E- e- erudite, Erudite, a- as w- w- well."

Uriah grinned madly, flashing his pearly whites, as he nodded. "Divergent, you see!" he explained, gesturing to himself as if he was showing off a very fine specimen, indeed. "Would ya' believe it; I got an aptitude for Dauntless, Amity, and Erudite!"

"Wh- wh- what?" the blonde frowned; he had heard of a few people in the factions who tested for more than one faction, but he had never met a Divergent to his knowledge, until now. "Wh- wh- what's, what's it, what's it, what's it l- like?"

"Fucking awesome!" Uriah announced, leaning over to pass the bong in front of Violet, to Cordelia. "Damn, and said celebrity is talking to me!"

"I- I- I'm not, I'm not a, a, a c- cel- celebrity, celebrity," Eric responded, tilting his head to the side, with a small frown, in confusion. Everyone gaped at the young leader, and he tried very hard to force down the blush caused by their stares.

"Yes, you are!" Sassy retorted, pausing momentarily to have a fit of giggles. "Everyone in Dauntless has your CDs! Everybody is baffled as to your identity! You are all anybody talks about; the great mystery musician of Dauntless."

"Oh my god!" Uriah exclaimed, clapping his hands excitedly, as he bounced around on the floor of the roof. "You should totally do a revealing!"

"A what?" Lia inquired, quizically, as she passed the bong over to Eric, releasing a steady stream of white smoke as she did so.

"Ya' know," the darker-skinned boy replied, with a shrug, as if it should be obvious. "A revealing. Like a coming out. You should do a show!" he directed the last bit at the blonde leader, with a hopeful expression.

"I- I- I d- don't, I don't th- th- think s- so," Eric mumbled, sheepishly, not used to conversation, or attention. He wasn't sure how to take the news that he was the talk of Dauntless because of his music. His silent, intimidating and cruel nature, maybe, but his music... He didn't understand it; Eric didn't think he was that good, it was his release.

"I think it's a good idea," Cordelia stated, matter-of-factly, scooting closer so her knee touched the blue-eyed man's. "Leave a legacy, remember?"

The young leader had to mull that one over; he distinctly remembered his new, tenth fear. But, they weren't asking him to make a speech, they were asking him to do something well in his comfort zone.

"M- m- maybe... w- we, we n- need t- t- to g- get, get d- down- downstairs; y- you guys, you guys h- have f- f- fear s- sims."

Five faces fell, in spite of their marijuana-induced sense of joy; the uneasy anticipation of the second day of simulations, now weighing heavily on their minds.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 _Cordelia opened her eyes to find that she was lying on a metal table, in a cold room. She blinked several times, trying to adjust her eyes to the bright lights, overhead. When the dark-haired girl attempted to sit up, she found that she couldn't move; her limbs were paralyzed._

 _Lia bit back a scream of terror, as the realization that she could only move her head, hit her like a ton of bricks. Her body felt heavy, like lead, and her breathing picked up at the idea of being immobile. She fought down the oncoming panic attack, and forced her breathing back to normal._

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _There were shimmering sheets of something clear, billowing around the Candor transfer. She inspected it, and saw that it was some type of plastic, or something. Lia tentatively reached out to touch it, and when she did, the sheet wrapped itself around her body, covering every inch of her. It had attached itself as if she were a vaccum, latching onto her skin, her face, and her hands._

 _Cordelia couldn't breathe, and her struggles and attempts to claw at the plastic only increased the panic in her gut. Her eyes had gone wide, with fear, and her face turned blue, as she suffocated._

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _"Cuts for stage two are as follows!"_

 _The dark-haired girl looked across the elongated cafeteria, to see Four standing on a table at the end. He was stood in front of the board, as he bellowed out who had failed, and would now become factionless._

 _"Stacy, Dillon, Angela, Tony, and the initiate with the fucking absolute worst time, Lia!"_

 _She had failed initiation._

 _Cordelia was going to be factionless._

 _All of her friends were laughing at her, and Eric was glaring at her with disgust, and disdain. The amber-eyed girl felt a single tear fall from her eye, before she brushed it away with the back of her hand. Forcing down the hysterics that threatened to take over her body._

"Cellophane, that's a new one," Four asserted, when Lia woke up, breathing heavily, and sweating. "You're getting better at this. It only took you four minutes, today."

The Candor transfer supposed that she should be happy, but right now, her worst fears were still fresh in her mind, and she simply wanted to get away. She stood to leave, but the brown-haired instructor stopped her, before she could reach the door.

"Lia, can I talk to you, for a minute?"

"Sure," Cordelia replied, feeling slightly nervous at what the intimidating man wanted. "What's up?"

"Look, I don't know you, okay?" Tobias started, attempting to remain calm, and get his point across. "But, I'm warning you, now. Do not hurt him. We were really competitive during initiation, but we became friends when we were forced to be on the same patrol. He's basically my brother, now. Do not hurt him, or I will kill you. Understand?"

The former Candor had no intentions of hurting Eric, she planned to stay with him until the end. Nevertheless, the serious tone led her to believe that Four's threat was not an empty one, and it sent a chill through her body. She pushed away the fear, and offered the brown-haired man a smile. "I promise; I won't. He's lucky to have a friend like you, looking out for him."

With that said, she nodded towards him once in farewell, and exited the fear training area, heading towards the young leader's apartment.


	16. Chapter Fourteen - Sticks and Stones

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! Sorry it took so long for an update, I've been REALLY busy this weekend, and then my little boy has been REALLY fussy:( But, I hope this makes up for it, and I should have the next chapter up in a day or so:) So, time for shoutouts!:

 **orangeporqupine**

I know, I like High!Eric, too, lol:) I just like everybody high, lol :)

 **RisughXD**

I know, I'm so excited that we've reached this part of the story, things should be a lot more fun, now! :) Although, with Eric dying and all, things will still be rough around the edges, ya know, never far from the mind, and all:)

 **EvieLyn**

Thank you so much for reviewing! I think they're cute together, too:) And I'm excited for the coming chapters as well, I've got lots of great stuff planned:)

 **zammy156**

I can't make any promises, sorry! :( And I'm glad you're enjoying it, it makes me so happy to know other people enjoy my writing as much as I do, lol :)

 **JohnnyStormsGirl**

I know! I'm glad he's finally talking to people, too:) Lot's of Snarky!Eric, will be coming up soon:)

 **ElectricBlueReader**

Here it is! Thanks for reviewing! :)

 **Simana**

I know, it's about time! Why do people wait to live until it's time to die? Eric even went as far as to wait until Lia pushed him to it! But, he's ready now, huh? :) And yeah, cellophane is actually a phobia I have, I'm always worried it'll get on my face, and I'll suffocate! Agh, seriously, I know it's weird, it's just this thing I've always had, lol :)

 **Classybird**

Sorry for all the angst! Although, there will be a lot more fluff, and fun times, now:) There will still be angst, coz, ya' know, Eric's on his freaking deathbed, basically. But, I can't say anything about the other, because I don't spoil! :)

 **was1**

Welcome! I'm sure you won't see this yet, since you just started reading, but I want to thank you for your review, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy it! And thanks for the originality compliment:) And yeah, by the time you get to this chapter, I'm sure your questions will be answered, but damn, you are right on. Except I got the title from the Disturbed version of The Sound of Silence, lol :)

 **murmelinchen**

Well, yeah, you know me, lol :) Always putting the characters through so much pain and suffering lol :) Yeah, Four is pretty protective, I just don't have the heart to make him the bad guy, ya' know? Although, I have to say, I love how he's the bad guy in **Last Resort** (Everybody, go read it; it's awesome!). Lot's of bromance coming in the next few chapters:)

 **NL92**

I'm glad you're excited! Here it is!

Once again, thanks to everybody who read and reviewed! If you haven't yet, please fave/follow/review, I absolutely love getting the feedback and thoughts from you guys!

 **3...2...1...GO!**

"So, you play all of these?" Cordelia inquired, as she walked through the young leader's music room, inspecting the many different musical instruments that he had stored there. The dark-haired girl had never learned to play an instrument, but she had always wanted to.

"Y- y- yes," Eric replied, with a slight smirk. "Y- you, you d- don't th- th- think that, think that I- I g- g- get a- all of, all of th- those s- s- sounds f-, sounds from j- just a, just a, just a g- g- guitar, guitar, d- do y- you?"

"No," Lia responded, blushing a bit, as she ran her fingertips along the body of a violin. She admired the beauty of the dark wood, and the flowing curls that showed the hollow inside of the stringed instrument. "I just didn't think about it."

The blonde chuckled a bit, raising his finger to point at the electric equipment in the far left corner, in the back of the large room. "Th- th- that's my, that's my r- r- record- recording e- equip- equipment... I- it, it t- t- took f- f- forever, forever t- to g- g- get it, get it a- all."

"Were you recording that thing on the drums you were finishing up when I knocked?" the former Cander asked, curious as to how the whole process worked. "Is it finished?"

"U- um..." Eric scratched the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious, and he squinted his eyes, more than usual. "I- it's, it's f- finished, it's finished, b- but I- I- I s- st- still h- have to, still have to r- r- record, record th- the l- l- lead o- on, on th- the g- g- guitar an- an- an- an- and s- s- sing l- lead, th- th- though."

"Can I help?" Lia's eyes lit up with hope, as she turned to face the blue-eyed man, who was shifting awkwardly where he stood. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Pl-?"

"Y- y- yes! J- just pl- please, please s- stop, stop d- d- doing th- that, S- s- smart, Smart Mouth," Eric groaned, rubbing his throbbing temples. The young leader seemed to always have a headache, as of late, but nothing really seemed to make it worse, or better. Although, his initiate's persistent form of begging him to get her way did a number on his nerves.

The blonde approached the complex set-up, flipping switches, and pressing several buttons, before pushing up a few small sliders on the large sound board. "J- j- just, just p- push th- th- this g- green, green b- but- button, h- here wh- when I- I, when I t- tell y- y- you, o- okay?"

Lia nodded, enthusiastically, grinning as she sat behind the desk, scrutinizing the complicated mess of wires, and sound equipment. She watched as Eric picked out a smaller, white guitar, and plugged a black cable into it, before standing behind the microphone at her left, and flipped a switch on the small, black sound amplifier.

Eric was nervous, to say the least, but he swallowed down his nerves, and gave the go ahead for Lia to start the loop and record. There was going to be a five second delay, so that he would know when to start, and he placed his fingers over the frets in the position he would need as the countdown began.

At the end of five small tics, the young leader slid his pick down the neck of the guitar, all the way up to the pick ups, in a slow, grinding grit, and began to sing quietly into the mic.

 _ **"I'm cold and broken..."**_

The blonde picked up the speed, and pressure, of the slide, before breaking out into a dark, heavy riff. He slid his fingers up, and down, the fretboard, forcing out angry, and slightly menacing, minor chords. Eric always lost himself to the music, and quickly forgot that Lia was even in the same room with him, as he let go completely.

 _ **"It's over I didn't want to see it come to this**_

 _ **I wonder if I will ever see your face again**_

 _ **And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin**_

 _ **It's simple I know that I will suffer in the end!"**_

Cordelia watched the blue-eyed man, in wonder; she had only seen Eric sing and play very slow, very emotional songs. And, while this song was clearly emotional, and the lyrics directly related to his ever-approaching death, it was the first time that the dark-haired girl had seen this side of his music.

 _ **"Fast I fade away**_

 _ **It's almost over**_

 _ **Hold on**_

 _ **Slow I suffocate**_

 _ **I'm cold and broken**_

 _ **Alone."**_

Once again, she watched the blonde lose himself in the music, eyes closed, and when he wasn't singing, and simply playing the electric guitar, he played passionately, and moved his head side to side, and forward and backwards. Lia loved watching him, even though the lyrics made her heart beat faster, and a sense of despair washed over her.

 _ **"It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away**_

 _ **Forsaken, I love for those I lost along the way**_

 _ **And I can't remember how it all began to break**_

 _ **We suffer, I live to fight and die another day!"**_

It was official; as far as Eric knew, he was completely alone in his apartment, taking out his stress on the electric instrument cradled in his arms. A simple, black strap held the guitar in place over his shoulder, enabling him to play with ease, as his body involuntarily moved with the melancholy riff.

 _ **"Fast I fade away**_

 _ **It's almost over**_

 _ **Hold on**_

 _ **Slow I suffocate**_

 _ **I'm cold and broken**_

 _ **Alone."**_

The amber-eyed girl was mesmerized at the young leader; there was so much to take in. Several instruments, and back ground vocals had been pre-recorded, and anyone else would have thought that there was an entire band playing in this room. There was the lyrics, which were sad, and angry, and Cordelia felt they were very honest. She guessed that if Eric had kept his music a secret, as far as his identity went, then he wouldn't feel so pressured, and it made sense to make honest lyrics. Lia supposed honesty wasn't just for the Candor.

Eric stepped back from the mic, leaning forward as he played a solo for an instrumental bridge. Sweat dripped down his forehead from his hairline, and the heavy chords sent vibrations from the guitar to his body, and he could feel the music. He slid across the fret, performing slides, push ups, and pull downs, among several other decorative techniques that he had learned over the years, before falling back in place in front of the mic for the final lyrics, after a slight pause.

 _ **"Fast I fade away**_

 _ **It's almost over**_  
 _ **Hold on**_

 _ **Slow I suffocate**_

 _ **I'm cold and broken**_

 _ **Alone**_

 _ **I'm cold and broken..."****_

As Eric let the last notes fade out, Lia pressed the green button again to stop the recording, and sat back in the seat, still amazed at the talent that the young leader possessed.

Eric threw the dark-haired girl a sheepish glance, from under his dripping, blonde hair, and moved to set the guitar back in it's stand. When he turned back around, Cordelia was standing right behind him, and quickly threw her arms around his waist. The blonde was still getting used to the affectionate actions of the former Candor, as he had not been exposed to such things in a very long time.

"That was fucking awesome!" she exclaimed, though her voice was muffled in the blue-eyed man's dark, leather jacket. He chuckled a bit, and pushed her back, with a pierced eyebrow raised, willing Lia to repeat herself so he could tell what she had said.

"I said, that was fucking awesome," the dark-haired girl reiterated, with a grin, and a giggle. "That made me hungry, want go to lunch?"

Eric laughed, that slightly high-pitched laugh of his, as the amber-eyed girl didn't give him time to answer, and simply grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the music room, and through the front door of his apartment.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

All of Lia's friends were at her table, as usual, and the blonde still felt slightly awkward sitting with them. He was tired of being alone, though, and even though her friends were initiates as well, they seemed okay. Not to mention, Cordelia had spilled his secrets to them; he couldn't stay mad at her, though.

He vaguely registered several pairs of eyes trained on him, as he sat at the far end of the table, with his arm around Lia's waist, on his left. Eric couldn't be bothered to care, though, as he had received permission to be open with the dark-haired girl, and he was tired of hiding.

"Oh my god, the worst one today was I was walking around in the Pit, and my clothes just disappeared!" Uriah announced, rather loudly, seemingly uncaring of the stares that their table was currently receiving. "What about you Lia? What was the worst one for you, today?"

"Failure; I was the worst-ranked initiate, and everybody was laughing at me," the amber-eyed girl sighed, sadly, receiving a one-armed squeeze from the young leader, who could empathize. "What about you, Eric? What was your worst fear at this point in stage two?"

The blonde swallowed, audibly, as all eyes at the table switched their attention to him, eagerly awaiting his answer. "U- um... f- f- fall-, falling. I- I- I, I h- had t- t- to, had to h- hit th- th- the g- ground r- r- relaxed t- to, to m- m- move o- on."

"Well, at least you weren't naked in the Pit," the darker-skinned boy asserted, grinning, as he pushed mushy carrots around on his plate. "I honestly didn't know that would bother me; maybe I should face it right now!"

"No!" Violet, Sassy, Cordelia and Marc shouted, with wide eyes, as Eric threw in his own, 'N- n- no!', in horror.

"Fine!" Uriah grumbled, slumping his shoulders in defeat, as his idea was shot down. "Guess I'll just save it for a future game of Candor or Dauntless, then."

"I will personally make sure that dare doesn't go to you," Marc promised, a deep blush crossing his freckled features, as he continued. "Maybe I'll dare Sassy..."

The former Amity boy's comment caused the blue-haired girl to blush, and avert her eyes to the table, as the rest of her friends snickered, knowingly.

"So, Eric," Violet began, pushing her empty plate away. "I play bass guitar... if you ever decide to, ya' know, do the show."

"Oh! Hey, I play the drums!" Uriah cut in, grinning with excitement, the prospect sitting perfectly well with him.

"I play guitar..." Marc mumbled, causing everyone to turn their heads to the ginger-haired boy in surprise. "What? Amity, remember? All we do is sing, dance, and get high when we're not working in the fields!"

"I know how to work a sound board! And the lights in the Pit!" Sassy threw in, bouncing in her seat. "We could be a band!"

"Uh..." Eric felt slightly uncomfortable, and shifted nervously in his seat. "N- n- not, not th- that I- I- I d- d- don't, don't a- ap- appreciate, appreciate i- it, b- b- but-."

"Hey!"

The young leader turned around in his seat, anxiously, as Lia, and all of her friends, turned their heads to see who had spoken. One of his former friends, from before he quit speaking, was stood there with an evil smile on his face. Trevor was about the same size as Eric, with a deep tan, and slightly longer, black hair, that fell into his non-pierced face.

"No wonder you quit talkin'!" the other man announced, loudly, gaining the attention of the majority of the Dauntless that were enjoying their lunches in the dining hall.

Eric remained silent, and stared at his former friend, in shock. Trevor had been almost as much of an asshole as he himself had been, and the young leader was currently regretting his decision to speak in public. But, what Max wants, Max gets, and Eric was required to speak when spoken to.

"What?" Trevor continued, feigning an innocent expression, with a sarcastic tone. "Afraid we'd make f- f- f- f- f- f- f- f- fun of y- y- y- y- you?"

The rest of the cafeteria had gone silent, as the scene played out, intently staring at the young leader, and the black-haired man addressing him.

"P- p- please, please d- don't d- d- do th- this, T- t- trev-, Trevor," the blue-eyed man said quietly, willing his former friend to step down. Eric did not want the entirety of Dauntless to know about his stutter, but the black-haired man clearly did, and Trevor was going to milk it, for all it was worth.

"Oh! The cruel, heartless leader is begging?" the other man continued to raise his voice, determined to embarrass the blonde after Eric had dropped him, and his posse, after the accident. Now that he knew why, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to return a few, long-overdue favors.

Eric cringed, inwardly, at the cruel laugh that followed Trevor's words, but remained silent, keeping his glare trained on the man before him. He briefly wondered if this was how Tobias felt when he used to make fun of him.

"A- a- a- a- a- are you embarrased, E- e- e- e- e- e- eric?" the black-haired man continued, mocking the blonde at every opportune moment, now. "Or are you just af- f- f- f- fraid?"

"Sh- sh- shut, shut u- up!" Eric yelled, in anger, shrugging off the hand that Lia had placed on his arm, as he stood almost nose to nose, with his former follower.

"S- s- s- s- s- stut- stuttering fool gonna do about it?" Trevor continued, crossing his arms over his chest, unfazed by the usually intimidating young leader. "What you gonna hit me? I can take a hit! Bring it on, f- f- f- f- f- f- fucker!"

The blonde was breathing heavily, and he could feel the stares that bore down on him; he wished that he could just die, right now, and be spared the shame. Eric glanced past the black-haired man, and saw that everyone was, indeed, staring intently. He felt like he might faint, and before anyone could stop him, he ran past Trevor, and out of the dining hall.

"Something I s- s- s- s- said?" the black-haired man smirked, evily, as he watched the blonde retreat. When he turned his face back forward, however, he was met with five fuming initiates, glaring daggers at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Uriah was the first to speak, standing up, and screaming at the slightly older man.

"Was that really necessary?!" Violet growled, as she too stood from her seat, her fists clenched by her sides.

"Your face!" Sassy screamed, moving to punch the other man, but Marc held her back by placing an arm in front of her.

"Don't you have a heart?" the ginger-haired boy said, much quieter than his friends, with a deep frown on his freckled features.

"I would kill you, right now, if I didn't need to go!" Cordelia finally yelled, shoving her shoulder into the taller man, as she ran after the young leader.

"What the fuck right do you have to do that?!" the darker-skinned Dauntless-born spoke again, the rage rolling off of him in tangible waves of fury. "What fucking right?!"

"What? I think it's hilarious!" Trevor laughed at their reactions, throwing his head back as he did so. "Fucker had it comin'! He was a real dick, back in the day, way I figure, he deserves it!"

"Leave now, before I sic my girlfriend on you!" Marc finally shouted, everyone slightly shocked that the previously timid, Amity boy, would even raise his voice.

The blue-haired girl started struggling in Marc's grip, thrashing to get to the black-haired man that had humiliated her best friend's boyfriend. She growled, as the black-haired man backed away, slowly, before he turned around and went back to his own table, ducking his head, as his friends laughed at him.

"Man," an orange-haired man began, laughing loudly. "If Eric was funny, you were fucking hilarious! Scared of a fuckin' initiate!"

"Sh- shut up!" Trevor stammered, burning red, and embarrassed at how quickly he had backed down from a bunch of rookies.

His friends laughed even louder, at his demand, slapping the table, and clutching their sides. "Fuck, now who's s- s- s- s- stuttering?!" a girl with platinum blonde hair asserted, forcing out her words through her laughter.

 _"Eric?!"_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"F- f- f- f- fuck..." Eric groaned, as he held his head in his hands, willing the pain to go away. The blonde had dropped to his knees in the corridor, the episode incapacitating him. It seemed that stress brought these fits on, quicker than anything else.

"Eric?!"

The young leader knew that that was Cordelia's voice, but he couldn't move; he couldn't see straight, as white, and red, dots spotted his vision. _"No, no, no, no..."_

Lia was terrified; she had exited the dining hall, intending to have to track down the blonde. She didn't expect to find him on his knees in the hall. The sight of Eric like... _that_ , was utterly horrifying to the dark-haired girl. "Eric, please don't go! Please don't go!" she cried, as she dropped down beside the blue-eyed him, noticing the blood that began to drip from his nose, and his ears.

"Lia! What's wr-?!"

"We hea-!"

"What's goi-?!"

"Is some-?!

The dark-haired girl turned a tear-streaked face to find her friends standing in the corridor with them, all of their faces showing different mixtures of shock, and concern. Marc dropped down beside Lia, as Uriah dropped down on the young leader's right side, assessing the severity of the situation.

The blonde vaguely registered more voices, but he couldn't concentrate on anything other than the excruciating pain in his head, releasing an agonized cry of anguish.

"Eric. Eric. Just breathe, wait it out," the darker-skinned boy spoke calmly, realizing that his other friends were panicking at the state of the blue-eyed man. "Just breathe... You too, Lia."

Marc held onto the dark-haired girl, rubbing circles over her back, in an attempt to soothe her, as she cried into his chest. "Shhhhh, it's okay. It's gonna be okay. Shhhhhh."

Eric felt himself falling over, before hands were assisting his trip to the stone floor, easing him down gently, and he felt like something soft might have been placed under his head, though he couldn't really be sure. Another sharp stab of pain pierced his brain, and he cried out again, in a strangled scream of pure agony, as his limbs began to twitch, involuntarily.

"What's happening?!" Lia, Violet, and Sassy screamed in unison, as the young leader's body convulsed on the floor, twisting and contorting at odd angles.

"He's having a seizure; it shouldn't last long, everybody just hang in there, okay?" Uriah continued to take the initiative of calming everyone down, even though he himself was frightened. The darker-skinned boy had read about these epileptic fits, but had never witnessed one.

The fear in the corridor was palpable, and the group jumped when a feminine voice broke the silence.

"Eric?! No!" Lauryn dropped to the floor, in an instant, staring at her blonde friend with wide eyes. _"Is this it?"_ she thought, as she watched the horrifying scene. A cool hand on her shoulder seemed to calm her down, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from Eric.

 _"What the fuck is happening to me?! Is this it?"_

The blonde could barely comprehend his own internal dialogue, the pain was so intense. This was the longest episode he had ever had, and it was not pleasant, to say the least.

Eventually, the convulsions ceased, and the pain receded, allowing the young leader to open his eyes. His chest heaved, as he struggled to regulate his breathing, and fatigue weighed heavily on him. The blonde had to fight to retain his consciousness, which was a difficult feat, considering his current level of exhaustion.

"Is it over?" Cordelia whispered, crawling to the blue-eyed man's side, and leaning over him to look at his face. The flow of blood had stopped, but the sticky, red substance still stained his nose, chin, and the area around his ears, and had left trails where it had dripped from the affected orafaces.

"Eric? Eric? Please, tell me it's over," the dark-haired girl begged for her instructor's attention, breathing a sigh of relief when crystal blue eyes met her own. "I lo-, I'm so glad you're okay," she breathed, laying her head on Eric's chest, momentarily, before moving up to place a gentle kiss to his sweaty forehead.

Uriah and Marc helped the young leader to his feet, holding tightly to his arms when Eric swayed a bit from the dizziness. The darker-skinned boy used his jacket, which had acted as a makeshift pillow for the blonde, to wipe up the remainder of the blood off of the floor.

"Th- th- thanks," the young leader mumbled, embarrassed that so many people had witnessed him at his most vulnerable of moments. Though, he was grateful for the concern, in a way; he was pleasantly surprised that this crazy group of initiates cared whether he died, or not. "Um... d- d- do y- you, do you g- g- guys w- wanna, wanna h- hang at m- m- my p- place, my place?"

"Yeah!"  
"Definitely!"  
"Sure!"  
"Can I bring weed?!" Uriah.

The young leader chuckled, shaking his head at the crazy antics of Zeke's little brother. "Y- y- yeah, I- I- I, I g- guess. G- g- get a l- l- lot, th- th- though; j- just ch- ch- charge it, charge it t- to m- m- my a- ac- account, my account."

"Since when do _you_ smoke, Mr. Straight Edge?" the red-headed woman inquired, with a raised eyebrow, and an incredulous expression.

"S- s- since wh- when- whene- _ever_ , L- l- lauryn. G- g- go a- away, go away, I- I- I d- don't w- want t- to s- s- see y- you, see you, r- right n- n- now," Eric responded, darkly, glaring at the green-eyed, Dauntless-born instructor, feeling only slightly guilty at the pained expression on her face, as she turned and continued on her way to the dining hall. The blonde was well-known for holding a grudge, and Lauryn's previous words from less than a week prior, still hurt him.

"I'm so glad that's over," Lia whispered, throwing her arms around the blonde's waist, in a tight embrace. "I was so scared, Eric!"

"M- m- me t- to," the blue-eyed instructor admitted, as he watched the red-head disappear through the double doors that led into the cafeteria, regretting his harsh words.

 _ **** Fade Away - Breaking Benjamin**_


	17. Chapter Fifteen - Letting Loose

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for taking so long again, I've had a rough couple days:/ But, I hope this makes up for it, and hopefully I can have the next chapter up tomorrow:) It had gotten so long, I had to cut it, but I didn't want to leave anything out, so I just have to finish a bit more of the next chapter, it's mostly done:) So, thanks to everybody that reads my story, and special thanks to everybody who fave, follows, and reviews!

 **mona-rose**

\- I didn't name it! I swear I didn't! I heard about it the first time on a interview with the Divergent cast, and then I've seen it used in a few stories since then:) I can't take the credit, lol :) I know! And Eric already feels bad about what he said to her; don't worry, she'll be back in a very short amount of time;) (Go read **Alone** )

 **Feigningintrest**

\- I'm sorry I killed you a little inside! :( There is some fluff in here, I promise! There will be a lot more fluff in a couple of chapters, though;)(Go read **All** of her stories! They are all awesome, the ones I've read so far, and let me tell you... whew!)

 **NL92**

\- Yeah, he will be getting what's coming to him VERY soon;) And yeah, they are going to get worse, and will happen more often the closer to death Eric gets:( And, you'll just have to wait and see about Maddy;)

 **RisughXD**

\- I know! :( It hurt my heart to even write him being in so much pain, and unfortanately, that is far from over:( But, yeah, what kinda person would I be, if I just contined to let Eric let himself get trampled; I mean, he's Eric, lol :) I think you are going to like the next chapter:D ILY 2! :) xoxo (Go read **The Last Scene** )

 **Simana**

\- Thank you so much! :) Yeah, I've got big plans for Uriah, I mean, he is the ONLY divergent in my story, for a reason, lol :) Not even Four is a divergent! :) But, yeah, Uriah is a clown most of the time, but when it counts, the little goof-ball will surprise you;)

 **EvieLyn**

\- Sorry! :( But, yeah you're going to like the next chapter:) And hopefully this one! :) xoxo (Go read **Take Care** )

 **Murmelinchen**

\- You're welcome! (Go read **Last Resort** & **She Will Be His Downfall** , and check out the SONGFIC!) Yeah, I know! I was writing it, and I was worried about him too! Yeah, unfortunately, there will be several episodes the closer he gets to death... as a hint, if you look at how often they happen, you might even be able to figure out just HOW close he is;) And I know! I'm glad he got some new friends too! Right now, he just sees them as Lia's friends, but it won't be long, and he'll figure out that they are hanging out with him, for him, and not for Lia :) ILY xoxo

 _Thank you all again so much! Here you go! :)_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Once the group had entered the young leader's apartment, Eric excused himself to the bathroom to clean up the blood that stained his face, and clothing, insisting that Lia and her friends make themselves at home. He trudged slowly down the hall, rubbing his eyes with his fists, as the fatigue he was experiencing worsened.

Several minutes, and several, cold splashes of water to his face, later, Eric was feeling much more alert.

He quickly went to his bedroom to change out of the blood-soaked clothing he was currently wearing, and emerged a few minutes later adorned with a tight, black pair of jeans, and a snug-fitting white t-shirt. He heard Marc speaking, as he reentered his living room.

"-only for you, Sas," the former Amity grinned, earning himself a punch in the shoulder from the blue-haired girl. "Oh, hey Eric. You okay?"

"U- uh..." the blonde nodded, shyly, before locking gazes with the amber-eyed girl. "I- I- I, I'll b- be b- b- back, s- soon, o- okay? I- I- I n- n- need t- to, need to d- do s- some- something."

"Okay," Lia responded, with a small smile, standing from her seat on the couch to give the blonde a quick, tight embrace, before planting a light kiss on his cheek. "Can I show them the music room?"

"Y- y- you c- can d- d- do w- what- whatever y- you w- want, i- if I- I- I c- can g- get a- an- another k- kiss," Eric replied in a low voice, smirking wickedly as he did so, causing the dark-haired girl to blush, a light pink. "D- do w- w- we, do we h- have-?"

The blonde's words were cut off, as Cordelia suddenly grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him down to smash her lips against his slightly chapped ones. She pulled at the small hairs on the back of his neck, as she bit down on Eric's bottom lip, hard enough to draw a bit of blood.

The young leader hissed, before growling, at the mix of pleasure and pain, and Lia ran her tongue across the small wound, moaning into her instructor's mouth as the metallic taste of blood graced her taste buds. As quickly as she had initiated the passionate gesture, she broke it off, offering an innocent expression to the blonde, who was breathing heavily, with his pupils blown so large, Lia could barely make out his icy-blue irises.

"Y- y- yeah, y- you c- can d- d- do, do w- what- whatever y- you w- w- want."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tobias had just finished washing his dishes from lunch, when he heard several, loud knocks on his door. He dried his hands on a plain, black hand towel, before opening his door wide, to find a nervous-looking Eric on his doorstep.

"Come inside," the brown-haired intelligence officer stood back, waiting for the blonde to enter, before closing the door behind him. He eyed the young leader suspiciously, watching as the blue-eyed man stood awkwardly in his living room, tapping his foot rapidly, and twiddling his fingers. "Sit down."

Eric complied, taking a seat on the worn couch, but he couldn't prevent his knee from bouncing up and down, much to his dismay.

"Dude, what's going on?" Four inquired, growing slightly nervous himself, at the state of his blonde friend. "Should I be worried, right now?"

"N- n- no," Eric responded, quietly, forcing himself to take a deep breath, as he wiped a thin sheen of sweat off of his brow. "I- I-, I j- just, u- uh... I- I- I m- mean... I- I- I'm n- not..."

"Whoa, dude," Tobias moved to sit beside the young leader, placing a hand on his back, and he could feel the accelerated beat of the blue-eyed instructor's heart. "Calm down. Just tell me."

"F- f- fuck..." the blonde swallowed thickly; he was not used to this sort of thing, but he knew it needed to be done. He didn't want to have any regrets, and after having received a taste of his own medicine from Trevor... Eric had to do this.

"I- I- I- I'm, I'm, I'm... s- sorry. I- I'm s- sorry, F- four," Eric hung his head, in shame, and embarrasment. The young leader couldn't remember if those words had ever left his mouth, before, and it was an odd experience for him.

"For what?" Tobias asked, incredulously. As far he knew, the blue-eyed man hadn't wronged him, in any way. He was very confused as to what this was all about.

Eric sighed, deeply, exhaling forcefully, before continuing. "P- p- pick- picking o- on y- y- you... y- y- ya' kn- know, b- b- before." The young leader resorted to picking at his nails, as he chewed on his bottom lip. This was definitely not within the realms of his comfort zone.

"That's in the past, bro," Four said, frowning a bit. "What brought this on?" Tobias noticed the forlorn look in the downcast, blue orbs of his blonde friend, and he sighed deeply, again.

"T- t- trevor... h- he... he h- heard, he heard me t- t- talk- talking," Eric admitted, with yet another defeated sigh. "H- he, he o- out- outted me, outted me i- in f- f- front o- of ev- ev- ev- ev- ev- ev- ev-..." The young leader loathed how his stutter would worsen at different times, making it almost impossible to get the words out. This was something he only recently discovered, however, as he only recently started speaking again.

" _Everybody_?" Four inquired, with a raised eyebrow, growing enraged at the man that Eric used to call a friend. The man that blindly followed Eric, when Eric was still a dick. The man that, along with the rest of Eric's so-called "friends", never once cared to visit the blonde in the infirmary after his accident.

The blue-eyed man nodded, sighing once again, before shaking his head in disgust. "I- I- I w- would- would've d- done, done th- th- the s- same, same th- thing... b- back i- in the d- d- day."

"Don't let that asshole get to you," Tobias scoffed, his words coming out as a slight growl. "He's not worth a turd of your time."

"I- I- I d- didn't c- come, come h- here, come here a- ab- about m- me," Eric was growing slightly frustrated; yeah, Trevor had embarrassed him, and now probably all of Dauntless knew about his stutter, but, that was not why he came here. He had felt the sting of the bully, the sting that he himself used to inflict, and his main target had been his current best friend.

"I- it's, it's a b- b- big d- deal t- t- to m- me, th- that I- I- I u- used t- to... used to m- make y- y- you f- feel, feel l- like, like th- this," the young leader rubbed his face roughly with his hands, anxious about the entire situation. "I- I, I j- j- just, w- want- wanted t- to, to s- say s- s- sor- sorry, b- before, before I- I..." Eric found it hard to say the words, not because of his stutter, but because of the reality of those words. He didn't have much time left, maybe not even a month, and he wanted to go out with as few regrets as possible; he had enough regrets that he wouldn't be able to do anything about.

"I get it," Four said, in a slightly strained voice, and forced a tight-lipped smile. "You're forgiven, dude."

"O- okay, s- s- so n- now, now th- that w- we g- got th- th- the m- mush- mushy sh- sh- shit, shit o- out of th- the w- w- way, w- w- wanna, wanna s- s- smoke?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

When Eric and Four opened the door to the young leader's apartment, they were met with loud music, that rattled even the thick walls of his near-sound-proofed apartment. The blonde threw a nervous glance towards his brown-haired friend, as he made his way to his music room, Tobias following on his heels.

When he entered the spacious room, Zeke's brother was banging away on the drum set, Violet was pumping on a red, electric bass, and Amity was rocking out on a black and blue, electric guitar. Cordelia was sitting on the blue-haired girl's lap, as Sassy occasionally made minor adjustments to the sound board, and no one seemed to notice the young leader, and the company that he had brought.

Eric was pleasantly surprised; Lia's friends were actually really good, and they were playing a song that he hadn't recorded yet, but it was his song. His eyes shifted to the scattered sheets of music on the white, fold-up table at the front of the room just beside the door, and realized that he must of left them out.

"Bro, this is your set up?" Tobias asked loudly, causing the initiates to jump in surprise as they stopped playing. "This is fucking awesome!"

The young leader was getting really tired of all the blushing that he had been doing lately; he was a leader of Dauntless for fuck sake, not some flower-wielding Amity, or compliment-shy Abnegation. Still, he wasn't used to this kind of attention, and he was rather self-conscious when it came to his music; his release.

"Y- y- you g- guys, you guys w- w- weren't, weren't k- kid- kidding," Eric said, ignoring Tobias' assertion. "Y- y- you- you're r- really, really g- g- good."

"Wow!" Uriah exclaimed, happily, as he moved away from the drum set, practically skipping past Eric and Four, as he made his way into the living room. "I'm really good! You heard him!"

"We!" Marc called, as he slid the guitar strap over his head, before placing it back in the stand. "He said, 'we' are good!"

The blonde couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, as Lia, and the rest of her friends, followed him and Four into the living room to join Uriah. The coffee table was pushed away, and they created a circle on the floor, with Lia to Eric's right, Four to Eric's left, Violet to Four's left, then Sassy, then Marc, then Uriah, who sat to Lia's right.

The darker-skinned Dauntless-born wasted no time in packing a long-necked, multi-colored bong, before passing it off to Eric, since the young leader had paid for the weed, and it was only fair he got the first hit.

The blonde didn't take the time to inspect the paraphanalia this time, and quickly lit the small bud of green in the bowl, inhaling deeply, as the water in the bottom of the pipe bubbled up. Just like his first experience, his expression quickly turned goofy, and he grinned like an idiot when he passed the bong to Tobias.

Four had a hard time containing his laughter, at the expression on Eric's face; he had never seen a high Eric, before, and it was quite entertaining, thus far. He placed his lips over the opening at the top, as he lit the small bud again, inhaling deeply, and pulling out the stem to gather all of the deliciously-harmful smoke into his lungs.

The young leader tried to forcefully remove the grin from his face, pulling at the corners of his mouth with his fingers, which resulted in everyone laughing at his useless attempts. Eric snorted softly, and repeatedly, as he tried to prevent the laughter that threatened to bubble up out of his throat.

"Hey Eric," Tobias said, with a mischievious grin on his face, as he passed the bong to Violet, who immediately passed it off to Sassy. "Guess what?"

The young leader's eyes went wide, as he expected to learn something interesting from his brown-haired friend. "Wh- wh- what?"

"...Diarrhea."

The brown-haired man had said the crude word with such a straight face, and indifferent tone of voice, that Eric could not contain the laughter anymore. His high-pitched cackle echoed through the room, and everyone else joined in at the unexpected craziness displayed by both of their instructors.

"Wh- wh- what?! I- I, I m- mean, wh- wh- why?! I- I-, wh- why w- would...?!" Eric had wrapped both of his arms around his middle as he laughed so hard, that tears came to his eyes, and he fell onto Tobias, his head landing in the brown-instructor's lap.

"Well," Four said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, as he dropped his voice an octave. "Hey, _baby_."

This started a whole new level of laughter for the young leader, and his guests, and he thought he just might die of laughter, as his sides screamed in protest.

"F- f- fuck, F- four!" Eric managed to speak, with great difficultly, through his incessant cackling. "Pl- please, please s- s- stop!"

"Stop what?" Tobias countered, with a feigned innocence plastered over his sharp features, as he watched his light-weight stoner of a friend turn red from laughter.

"Y- you, you kn- kn- know wh- what!" The young leader fought hard to bring himself back under control, but the drug coursing through his system was causing him to have problems with that mission, and when Lia attempted to pass the bong back to him, he shook his head, quickly handing it off to Four.

The brown-haired instructor offered a vaguely blank expression to the blonde, before saying, "Diarrhea."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Eric had no idea how much time had passed since they began smoking, he just knew he only took one hit; it was more than enough for him. At some point, he ended up on the couch, with Cordelia snuggled up to his side, and the rest of his guests just lounged in random places in his living room.

Uriah broke the comfortable silence, sitting up from where he had been sprawled out on the coffee table. "Hey, Eric, let's have a jam session!" the excitement was evident in voice, when the blonde didn't immediately shoot his idea down, and seemed to be mulling it over in his mind.

Lia liked that idea, and decided to beg to get her way, once again. "Oh, yes! Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Plea-?"

The blue-eyed instructor shut up the dark-haired girl with a deep, but very quick, kiss on her full, pink lips. "I- I th- think I- I'm, I'm s- s- still h- high en- enough f- f- for th- that." And with that, the young leader jumped to his feet, walking straight into his music room, and donning his white, electric guitar. "W- w- well?!" he hollered out into the living room, and that was all it took for everyone to hurry inside the large, white room.

"We can do the one from earlier?" Uriah inquired, as he positioned himself on the stool behind the drum kit, testing the peddles for the bass and the cymbals, before shrugging out of his jacket.

"Y- y- yeah," Eric shrugged, feeling oddly comfortable at the current moment. "S- s- sassy c- can, can w- w- work th- the s- sound- soundboard an- an- and r- record i- it. S- see h- h- how w- we w- work t- t- tog- together?"

"Sir, yes sir!" the blue-haired girl salluted the blonde, eliciting a chuckle from the young leader. "Just say when!"

"Ev- ev- every- everyb- body, r- r- ready?" Eric inquired, turning to look behind him to see that Marc was patiently waiting for the go ahead, as well as Uriah, and Violet, and they all nodded, grinning madly. "Th- th- there's a, a, a f- five, five s- sec- second d- del- delay, s- so... y- yeah, u- um, wh- wh- when."

Sassy perked up, and started the recorder, quickly adjusting the sliders to allow for the vocals. After five short tics, Uriah began a drum roll, that started light, but gradually got heavier, as Violet joined in with the wicked bass notes, and Marc and Eric started off with rapidly picked palm mutes.

Within moments, there was a decorative pause, and then they were all playing hard, low, sultry minor seventh notes that sounded quite angry, to be honest. And then Eric was screaming, a gravelly sound that only added to the rage-filled music.

Tobias was already impressed, he had a secret stash of the mystery musician's music, but he would've never guessed that Eric was said musician. He had listened to the songs so many times, that he began to sing them in his head while he worked, or he would hum them, when he was alone. Seeing it live, was a whole new experience for Four, as he watched the young leader get lost in the music, and he wondered if it was always this way.

 _ **"I don't mean to, to alarm you**_

 _ **Can't you see now, it overtakes you**_

 _ **You're declining, disintegrating**_

 _ **You're gonna lose it all**_

 _ **The time you're wasting!"**_

Lia glanced over to her brown-haired instructor, and she couldn't hide the smile when she saw the look of disbelief on his face. It was quite comical. She was rather surprised at this song though; while only that morning she had seen Eric play a heavy song, this was completely different. Heavy couldn't describe it, no; this was hardcore, complete with angry screaming, and yet still held the heart-wrenching lyrics. She would never understand how the blonde man that had stolen her heart was able to do this.

Tobias was surprised when Eric started stuttering, in-song; at first he thought maybe his blue-eyed friend was getting nervous, but the more times he repeated the sung-spoken words, breathily, Four realized that it was entirely intentional.

 _ **"B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out**_

 _ **B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out**_

 _ **B- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out**_

 _ **Blackout!**_

 _ **Let your panic out!**_

 _ **Let it out, let it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **Get it out, get it out, get it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!"**_

As usual, Eric had forgotten that he wasn't alone; he simply thought he was blasting away through the mic, slamming down on his guitar, to release his pent up frustrations.

 _ **"'Cause you're trapped in the countdown**_

 _ **And your days are numbered**_

 _ **Don't you know that you're done for?**_

 _ **Right now, lights out**_

 _ **Let your panic out!"**_

Sassy was completely mesmerized; it was one thing to hear the music on a CD, and another thing completely to watch the young leader let go of his inhibitions. She watched with wide eyes, as the blonde screamed, and sang, with his eyes closed, moving all over the place. _"We have got to get this guy on stage!"_

 _ **"You can feel it, but you're ignoring**_

 _ **It creeps up on you, without a warning**_

 _ **You think you're thriving**_

 _ **But you're decaying!**_

 _ **You're gonna lose it all**_

 _ **There's no escaping!"**_

Uriah watched his blonde instructor out of the corner of his eyes while he beat against the percussions relentlessly; he had decided that he was going to have a talk with the young leader about possibly writing a song that didn't reveal lonliness, or death. Although, he was probably enjoying this opportunity to play with the great mystery musician of Dauntless, more than the others, and he grinned the entire time.

 _ **"Let it out, let it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **Get it out, get it out, get it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **'Cause you're trapped in the countdown**_

 _ **And your days are numbered**_

 _ **Don't you know that you're done for?**_

 _ **Right now, lights out**_

 _ **Let your panic out!"**_

Violet was in a state of disbelief; she stared at the blonde, as she continued to pluck the low notes on the red, bass guitar. She couldn't help feeling starstruck, when the man who had been a mystery, was basically throwing the guitar around while he played, rolling his head back, or to the side, or forward even, between the breaks in the lyrics.

 _ **"Feel it slip away, slip away**_

 _ **You know you're d- done for, y- you're d- done**_

 _ **You can't get away, get away**_

 _ **You know you're d- done for, y- you're d- done for!**_

 _ **Let it out, let it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **Let it out, let it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!**_

 _ **Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!**_

 _ **Release the panic, oh, release the panic!"****_

Eric stepped back from the microphone, breathing heavily, and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, before turning around, and jumping when he saw six grinning faces.

Lia couldn't help but laugh, when she saw the wide-eyed blonde practically jump out of his skin. "You forgot we were here, again, didn't you?"

"Wait," Tobias cut in, with wide eyes. "You mean, he's always like this when he plays?" He shook his head slowly, in amazement, when Lia smirked, and nodded her head in confirmation. "Damn, bro... damn."

The young leader coughed, and averted his gaze, as he gently slid the guitar over his head and placed it in the stand. Now that he had finished the song, he was completely self-conscious, again.

"Ya' know my favorite part?" Lia drawled, as she crept up behind her blue-eyed instructor. Eric turned around, and swallowed thickly, at the tone of her voice. The former Candor continued, in a husky, breathy moan, very similar to the particular part of the song that she was referring to, "B- b- breathe in, b- b- breath out, b- b- breathe in, b- b- breathe out," she said, closing her eyes, and rolling her body suggestively against the young leader, who bit his lip at her actions.

"Okay!" Marc cried, holding up a hand, at the same time as Tobias, to cover his eyes from the sensual display. "Let's go eat, I've got the munchies!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The group made their way down to the dining hall, and just when they were about to enter through the double doors, Eric froze.

Everyone else had already walked through the doors, and when Lia noticed that one of her instructor's was missing, she turned around, instructing the others to go ahead. She walked back out, and found Eric just standing there, staring at the door.

"Eric?" she asked, approaching the blonde, and placing a hand on his arm. "Eric, what's wrong?" She watched his adam's apple bob up, and down, as he swallowed, nervously, and his hands were trembling.

"I- I- I, I d- don't th- think... a- a- after, after ea- ea- earlier... I- I, j- just-," Eric didn't want to admit that he was scared to face the dining hall full of Dauntless. He was afraid, especially after what had happened with Trevor, and then he had run out...

 _"I'm a coward. I'm not going to be a coward."_

"Oh, Eric-," Lia started, but the young leader cut her off, shaking his head, as he spoke.

"N- n- no, I- I'm n- n- not a, a, a c- cow- coward," the blue-eyed man clenched his jaw, and determinedly strode through the doors, making his way over to Lia's friends, and Four. He could feel the stares, and he could hear the whispers, all around him. Some people weren't even attempting to be quiet, and he rolled his eyes, and continued walking, the dark-haired girl right on his heels.

As soon as he slid onto the bench between Tobias, and Lia, Trevor and the rest of Eric's former posse made their way over. The young leader felt his heart rate pick up, and he couldn't look any of his former "friends" in the eye, not even the platinum-blonde female, Clipper, whom he had lost his virginity to, on a strictly-friends basis.

"H- h- h- h- hey, E- e- e- eric!" Trever sneered, gaining some satisfaction when the stuttering leader simply bowed his head, with his eyes closed. "Hey! I'm t- t- t- talking to y- y- y- y- you!"

"Eric?!" Uriah whispered, harshly, slapping his hand on the table. "Do something! Don't let them do that shit to you!"

Tobias went to stand up, fully intent on giving the small group a piece of his mind, and maybe a taste of his fist down their throats, but Eric grabbed his arm in a death grip, forcing him back down. "D- d- don't," he said, in a low voice, and a coldness in his expression that had been missing the past week.

"Awe, baby," Clipper pouted, whining as she crossed her arms over her busty chest. "Don't be like that!"

"Baby?" Lia whispered, frowning at the platinum-blonde woman who had spoken.

"L- l- later, L- lia," Eric growled, scowling up at the girl, and turning his head when Blaze addressed him, next.

"So," the orange-haired man began, shifting his weight to one leg, and worrying his snakebite lip piercings. "That why Maddy left you? She found out that you were r- r- r- r- retarded?"

 _ **** Release the Panic - Red (I added the stutters, though, but it fit in, lol)**_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 **A/N:**

Oh! What's gonna happen next?! :D xoxo


	18. Chapter Sixteen - Let Go, Lia

**Author's Note:**

Sorry it took so long! I meant to get this up yesterday evening, but I have a two-year old:/ But, here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it! So, now for shoutouts! :)

 **RisughXD**

\- I know! I hate them too! And I know, I love it when they get high as well, we'll be seeing LOTS more of High!Everybody, lol :) ILY ( Don't forget to check out **The Last Scene** )

 **mona-rose**

\- I think you will like this chapter, then! :) I know, that actually happened to me before! Like, we were smoking with friends, and then out of nowhere this guy says, "Hey Jamie, guess what?" and I was like, "What?" and he's like,"... Diarrhea." And I thought I was going to die! I could NOT stop laughing, like even I hadn't been really freaking stoned on the purp, I totally would have still died laughing, lol :) (Don't forget to check out **Alone** )

 **NL92**

\- Thank you for your review! And don't worry, he will :)

 **Oncer15**

\- Well, this is DEFINITELY a pro-pot piece, I mean, come on, weed is awesome! And Eric is going to smoke a bunch... but I can't say anything one way or the other because I don't want to spoil! :) Thanks for reading! And I absolutely loved reading **The Hybrid**!

 **Talia**

\- Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! :)

 **jonesiia**

\- Thank you so much for that! You're review is positively flattering! Love to you! :)

 **wowza**

\- Thank you so much for saying my story is 'fucking amazing'! :) yeah, I like doing weird things with my characters, lol :) Especially with Eric, coz he was SO one dimensional, lol:) I've pretty much got all of my music picked out, but I will CONSIDER requests :) Can't make any promises, because I've picked songs for specific sounds and lyrics, but I will take a listen and read the lyrics, and if I can fit it in, I will :) You're going to like this chapter;) And come on, who doesn't like making their friends uncomfortable? lol :)

 **Electric Blue Reader**

\- The fanbase be gathered! Girls (guys?) go rip off Trevor's testicals and make him eat them! (too much? lol, I'm weird)

 **EvieLyn**

\- Yeah, I like having Four and Eric be friendly, in one of my other stories, I actually made them be brothers! lol, I know, lol :) (Go read **Take Care** )

 **Simana**

\- Thank you so much! He will don't worry, and I've got a song planned for very soon, that will pretty much come about from Trevor and his posse, lol :)

 **MyHappyLove**

\- I'm so sorry my story f'd you up! :) Not really, because I absolutely love my story, that's why I'm writing it, lol :) But I'm so glad TSOS has made you a fan! :) There's a lot of good stories on here, take a look at my shoutouts, those stories are excellent and are updated regularly:) And I am too! Who couldn't be with Jai as Eric? lol;)

So, for any of you guys that are interested, I've made a playlist on youtube with the songs I use in the story, and I'll be updating as the "new releases" come out, lol. I don't own any of it, lol :) So, I'll post the link on my profile for whoever is interested:) It's a good playlist, obviously, lol :) Also, this chapter is **rated M**! Not as descriptive as I would like, but with an overall T rating... I don't want to get in trouble, so... But, when this fic is over, I'll be more than happy to throw out a few VERY descriptive one-shots, if enough of you are interested:) Alright, 'nough talk! here ya' go:)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 **Previously on TSOS:**

 _Tobias went to stand up, fully intent on giving the small group a piece of his mind, and maybe a taste of his fist down their throats, but Eric grabbed his arm in a death grip, forcing him back down. "D- d- don't," he said, in a low voice, and a coldness in his expression that had been missing the past week._

 _"Awe, baby," Clipper pouted, whining as she crossed her arms over her busty chest. "Don't be like that!"_

 _"Baby?" Lia whispered, frowning at the platinum-blonde woman who had spoken._

 _"L- l- later, L- lia," Eric growled, scowling up at the girl, and turning his head when Blaze addressed him, next._

 _"So," the orange-haired man began, shifting his weight to one leg, and worrying his snakebite lip piercings. "That why Maddy left you? She found out that you were r- r- r- r- retarded?"_

The Eric that Lia had come to know over the past five days was gone, and in his place, stood the brutal leader that had previously terrified her. The young leader had not yet said anything, but his icy-blue eyes were filled with a palpable fury, and it sent chills through the dark-haired girl.

Tobias wanted to intervene, but knew that if he were to step in now, the blue-eyed man's wrath could quickly turn to him, and instead leaned back to watch the scene unfold.

"Y- y- you w- want, you want t- to r- r- run th- that, run that b- by m- m- me a- again, s- s- soldier?" Eric growled, his voice low, and menacing, as he towered over the orange-haired man, chest to chest.

Blaze gulped thickly, unable to break eye contact with the cold glare that was currently fixed on his forest-green eyes, and shook his head slowly.

Trevor was not going to have any of that; Eric was clearly not the man that he had looked up to in the past, and to him, it was disgusting. "That is why, isn't it?" the black-haired man scoffed, before chuckling, forcing himself to not cower under the icy daggers that were thrown his way. "Can't say I blame her, though, I'm- uuuuugh!"

"Eric, stop!" Cordelia screamed, as the young leader pummelled Trevor to the ground, straddling his waist, and throwing punch after punch to the black-haired man's face. She thought that the blonde was going to kill him.

The blue-eyed man saw nothing but red; literally, Trevor's face, and Eric's hands, were covered in blood, as the young leader continued his assault. "I- I, I a- am n- n- not, not r- r- retarded!" And with one final blow to the side of the black-haired man's face, the blonde stood up, smirking down, coldly, at the bloody, unconscious mess of his former friend.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Clipper screamed, pulling her arm back to slap the blue-eyed instructor. Her hand never made contact, though, as Eric caught her by the wrist, inches from his face, and turned his menacing expression to the platinum-blonde girl.

"Y- y- you w- want, want t- to t- t- test m- me, l- l- little, little g- g- girl?" Eric kept his voice low, and even, his icy stare fixed firmly on the busty girl's muddy-brown orbs.

Clipper pulled her wrist out of the young leader's grip, cradling it to her chest, and she backed up a couple of steps, before turning to leave, Blaze dragging Trevor and following along behind her.

"That was awesome!" Uriah hooted, pumping his fist in the air, and grinning like an idiot.

The ice quickly melted, when Eric noticed the audience of Dauntless members, their curious stares boring into him, and he quickly sat down, trying to hide his face by leaning into his arms. He was shaking, and he wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline from beating Trevor, or if it was embarrassment. He drew a long, shaky breath, and exhaled slowly, before wiping the gathering perspiration from his brow.

"Are you okay?" Lia asked, quietly, wrapping an arm around the young leader's waist, and squeezing, lightly.

"Y- y- yeah," the blonde cursed himself, inwardly, for how timidly he had spoken. "J- just... th- th- they're, they're s- st- staring at, at m- me." The blue-eyed instructor chanced another glance from under the cover of his arms, which acted as his shield, to find that the majority were still staring at him, and whispering to one another.

"Hey," Four said, offering an encouraging smile, and clapping his blonde friend on the shoulder. "They'll get used to it, yeah?"

Eric rolled his eyes, and scoffed. "I- I'm n- not, I'm not e- ev- even u- used to, used to i- it." And he really wasn't; going almost two years without speaking, from the time when he first found out that his stutter was permanent damage. The daily, and sometimes hourly, fluctuations in the severity of his stammering was a completely new experience for him, one that he wouldn't even have time enough to get used to.

"Eric, if you're going to sit with us, you're going to have to get used to us listening to your new releases," Violet stated, in a hushed tone, as she pulled the portable CD player from her bag, along with the disk inside the slip.

"I- I- I h- haven't r- released an- an- anyth- th- thing n- new?" the young leader frowned, confused, and his statement sounded more like a question.

"Well..." the blonde turned to look at the blue-haired girl who sat beside Amity, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "I kinda... burned a couple of your new ones? Lia said she helped you record it."

"O- oh," Eric shifted, slightly nervously, causing Four, Lia, and her friends to chuckle at the blue-eyed instructor.

 _ **"I'm cold and broken..."****_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The group had gone their seperate ways after dinner, and Cordelia followed the young leader back up to his apartment. They sat together on the couch talking about random things, and life at Dauntless, and the conversation eventually turned to their former factions, and families.

"So, your name is Everett and you're from Erudite?" the dark-haired girl inquired, sheepishly, feeling the blonde stiffen beside her. She had been rubbing his back, and could instantly feel her instructor's heart rate gain speed.

"M- my n- name's, my name's E- e- eric," he said, clenching his jaw, as his knee began to bounce, up and down, nervously. The blue-eyed man didn't want to discuss his life before Dauntless, at all.

"Well, how about I go first?" the amber-eyed girl offered, scooting back a bit in her seat, and folding her legs up under her backside. "My name's Cordelia Ward, and I'm from Candor. I was good at being a Candor, but I was bored, so I decided I was going to choose either Erudite or Dauntless, and my test showed my aptitude for Dauntless, so I defected. I had great parents... really great," Lia paused, a sad smile on her face, as she remembered the highlights of her childhood.

"I got caught in a lie, at school, when I was a first year. I was six, of course, and the teacher sent me to Jack Kang," the dark-haired girl chuckled, at the memory. "I was so scared; he gave me this long lecture about the importance of honesty, and that there was no such thing as a 'white lie'. I thought my parents were going to kill me, but... they took me to the park and got me ice cream, instead... I miss them."

Eric frowned; he hated to see Lia in such pain, and he knew that pain, all too well. "M- m- my n- name's E- e- everett E- Eric, T- t- thomas, an- and I- I d- def- f- fected, defected f- from E- e- erud- d- dite."

The amber-eyed girl perked up, at his admission, and gestured for him to continue. She noticed that Eric took several deep breaths, before he spoke again.

"I- I w- was- wasn't a g- g- good E- erudite. A- all I- I- I e- ever, ever w- wanted t- to b- b- be w- was, was a s- s- soldier," the blonde ran a hand through the longer hairs on the top of his head, and momentarily closed his eyes, as the not-so-pleasant memories came back to him.

"M- my p- p- parents, th- they w- were th- the b- best... th- th- they w- were i- in th- the wr- wrong, wrong pl- place, a- at the wr- wr- wrong t- time, th- though. Th- there w- was a, was a in- inter- f- f- faction g- gala, o- or some- something, an- an- and a g- group, a group of f- f- faction-, factionl- less s- stopped, stopped th- their c- c- car an- and th- they sh- shot, they shot th- th- them... l- l- left th- them, left them o- on th- the s- s- side o- of the r- r- road."

Cordelia's eyes had gone wide, as she listened to the young leader, and she could tell that Eric's mind was not in this apartment, anymore.

"I- I- I was, I was t- t- ten. I- I g- g- got h- home f- f- from s- s- school, an- an- and, and J- jeanine M- m- matthews w- was w- w- waiting f- for m- m- me t- to t- t- tell m- me..." the young leader had crossed his arms, a scowl on his face, as he continued to vent. He had never told anyone this much about his past. "Sh- she p- p- placed, placed m- me w- w- with A- alex and K- k- kim L- l- logan, f- first, b- b- but-."

"Wait, _first_?" the dark-haired girl inquired, furrowing her brow in confusion, as the blonde pressed his lips into a thin line, and he stared at the floor.

"Y- yeah. F- first. Th- they d- didn't, didn't l- like m- me. I- I was, was t- too w- w- wild f- for th- them, an- and n- not s- s- smart en- enough f- for th- th- their s- s- standards, standards, s- so, th- then th- th- they p- placed me w- with, with Al- l- lana an- and V- vinc- c- cent C- c- campbell," Eric paused to take a shaky breath, before continuing.

"I- I- I l- liked, I liked th- them, b- b- but I- I w- wasn't, wasn't g- g- good en- enough wh- when m- my s- six y- year e- ex- exam s- s- scores c- came b- back... th- they g- got r- r- rid of, rid of m- m- me, t- too. I- I s- s- stayed w- with E- e- ezek- kial and B- b- beth W- winston f- for t- two y- years, b- but th- they w- were o- old, s- s- so... th- they w- weren't th- that b- bad."

When the blonde didn't continue, Lia decided to press him for the information; she wanted to know everything about the young leader, even if it wasn't pleasant. "What about the last two years? Who did you stay with?"

Eric hesitated, for several minutes, debating on whether or not to continue this conversation, where he revealed everything about himself.

"D- dean an- and C- c- claudia R- root, an- and th- th- then J- jeanine f- for, for th- the l- last c- couple, couple m- months b- before m- my t- t- test."

 _"Where have I heard those names before?"_ Cordelia thought, as she racked her brain for the information. She had seen those names in an article, one of her father's cases...

"Th- they're f- f- faction- factionless n- now."

The dark-haired girl was positive that the couple had gone before her father for a trial, but, there was no way... "Eric?" The blonde's eyes had slightly glazed over as he stared off into space, and the sight was unsettling. "What did they do?"

The young leader shook himself, and cleared his throat a bit, before standing up and walking over to his kitchenette, turning on the sink and allowing the basin to fill with water. He blatantly ignored the amber-eyed girl's inquiry, and instead began to wash the few dishes that lay in the sink.

The former Candor knew she wasn't going to get anymore out of Eric, not right now, at least, so she dropped it. She would find out a way to confirm her suspicions; hoping against hope, that she was mistaken. Lia needed to get her hands on the disposition from that trial. "Do you want me to go?" she asked, as she sauntered up to the blonde, wrapping her arms around his waist, from behind.

The blue-eyed man turned around, quickly, shutting off the faucet as he did so, and regarded her with an unreadable expression. "N- n- no," he mumbled, shifting his gaze to stare at the dark-haired girl's full, pink lips, before flicking his eyes back up to her lovely, amber orbs.

"Then..." Lia started, swallowing nervously, as she bit her lip. "Do you want me to stay?" Her voice had turned to a whisper, and a pretty blush crept over her porcelain cheeks.

"D- do y- y- you, do you w- want to s- s- stay?" the young leader dropped his voice to a low, husky tone, moving to run a single digit teasingly up the length of the dark-haired girl's neck, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, and causing Cordelia to shiver.

The amber-eyed girl could only nod, concentrating on keeping her eyes from fluttering shut at the soothing contact. "For the record," Lia spoke up, quickly, rushing through her words. "I've been on the shot since I was fifteen. I mean... ya' know, if... um..."

Eric chuckled, low in his throat, and leaned in close with his lips brushing against the crest of her ear, his warm breath blowing her hair, gently. "Wh- what d- d- do y- you w- want, want me t- to d- do t- t- to y- you, L- lia, Lia?" he said, his voice deep, and gritty, as he ran his hands gently down her sides, to grip her waist.

"Don't be gentle," Cordelia whispered, urgently, as her body went warm, and tingles shot through her where his hands touched her. She felt the blue-eyed man's pressing need pushing against her thigh, and his eyes darkened, substantially.

"O- okay," Eric replied, smirking wickedly, before grabbing the Candor transfer and throwing her backwards over his shoulder, and Lia giggled, as the young leader carried her through the living room, and down the hall, pushing open the door to his bedroom.

A surprised gasp escaped from Lia when she was tossed onto a large, comfortable bed, bouncing a bit before her body stilled on top of the duvet, and she leaned up on her elbows as Eric looked down at her, his eyes greedily raking over her healthy form.

The young leader kicked out of his boots and socks, before kneeling down to remove his initiate's shoes, as well, smirking mischievously the whole time. His eyes went wide at Cordelia's next words.

"I told you not to be gentle."

Eric's face broke into a grin, and complied, roughly sliding the dark-haired girl's skin-tight, black pants down her milky-white legs, as she pulled her t-shirt over her head, leaving her in only her bra and panties. Lia leaned up to work the button and zipper on her instructor's jeans, as he tore his shirt from his body, tossing the thin article against the door, before pushing the covering over his legs away.

Cordelia felt no shame in staring at the young leader's sizeable erection, covered only by the thin material of his black, boxer-briefs, as he crawled up between her legs, and hovered over her, gazing into her eyes, with his own pupils blown wide with want.

"A- are you, are you s- s- sure? I- I, I d- don't w- want t- to-."

"If it's too much, I'll tell you to stop," Lia cut in, breathily, growing impatient, as she pulled Eric's face down to hers to catch his lips in a bruising kiss, passionately sliding their lips together.

The young leader wasted no more time, and unclasped the dark-haired girl's bra with one hand, sliding it down her arms, and reaching down between their shivering forms to slide her panties down her legs in a swift movement. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, sliding and swirling with Lia's, and moaned, low in his throat.

"You're overdressed," Cordelia asserted, momentarily breaking the contact, to push the blonde's underwear down past his hips, his throbbing member springing free from the caging material. Lia hummed in satisfaction, as Eric kicked the fabric away, and attached his lips to her hardened nipples, in turn, swirling, and flicking his tongue over the small, pink buds.

The blue-eyed instructor sneaked his hand down over the former Candor's smooth stomach, slipping a finger to rub over Cordelia's smooth, wet folds, earning a breathy moan of pleasure from the dark-haired girl. "Don't tease me, Eric. I want you. Now!"

The blonde smirked, releasing her left nipple with a pop, and a wink. "Y- yes, yes m- ma'am." Eric gripped Lia's hips, yanking her down, closer to him, and his aching cock twitched at her entrance, before he slid inside of her, moaning at the warm wetness that encircled his manhood. "F- f- fuck..."

"Me. Now," the amber-eyed girl whined, wrapping her legs around the young leader's back, willing him to move. She moaned as Eric growled, pulling out and thrusting back inside of her, hard and fast, a feral look in his crystal-blue orbs, as he held her gaze, with half-lidded eyes.

Cordelia rolled her hips up, in time with every thrust, moaning and squirming beneath the blonde, as he continued to pound into her, groaning and panting heavily. "Oh!" Lia exclaimed, in surprise, as she was suddenly flipped over onto her stomach, Eric releasing an animalistic growl behind her.

The young leader pushed her knees up, so that Lia was bent forward, holding herself up with her elbows, as he entered her once again, the different angle bringing new waves of inconceivable pleasure. Eric kept one hand on her hip, while he slid his other hand up the length of her smooth back to grasp a fistful of silky, dark-brown hair. He tugged on it slightly, as he continued to thrust inside of her, picking up speed as the former Candor started mewling beneath him.

The blue-eyed instructor was rapidly approaching his climax, so he reached around the dark-haired girl with the hand that had been holding onto her hip with a bruising force, and circled her clit with his finger, furiously. Lia moaned, as she bucked her hips back against the young leader, accepting each thrust eagerly, as she nearly went over the edge. "Er- ic... Eric, I'm..."

"L- let g- g- go, L- lia," Eric groaned, as he felt Cordelia clamping down around his dick, the silky wetness and sudden pressure pushing him over the top, and he moaned in sync with the amber-eyed girl as he spilled inside of her pulsing womanhood. After a few more slow pumps, the young leader collapsed onto his side, pulling Lia tight against his chest, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

The dark-haired girl gazed into Eric's tired, blue eyes with a smile on her face, running her fingers over the young leader's smooth jawline. "I don't want to, but I should probably head down to the dorms," she started, with slight disappointment lacing her tone. "It's pretty late."

Eric shook his head, and held onto her tighter, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "S- s- stay w- with, with m- me," he murmured, he pulled back a bit, to press his forehead against Cordelia's, as he looked into her eyes, begging her not to leave.

"Okay," Lia replied, with a sleepy grin, as she snuggled against her instructor's chest. She noticed the lamp on his desk was still on, and the light was rather bright; she didn't know if she would be able to sleep with it on. "Aren't you going to turn out the light?"

"N- no," Eric replied quickly, a little too quickly, and Cordelia remembered his nervous actions during the war games. Eric was afraid of the dark, and slept with the light on. She decided not to broach the subject that night, and instead listened to the sounds of the young leader breathing, his breaths evening out and deepening as he fell asleep.

She pulled back a bit to look at him, his face serene and worry free, in his sleep; he looked his age, in his sleep. She sighed, as she looked over him, reaching down to pull a large, soft throw over them, to keep away the chill that was sure to come. Before she had pulled the blanket up all the way, however, she caught sight of several, small discolorations littering Eric's muscular torso.

Upon closer inspection, Lia could tell that they weren't discolorations; they were, in fact, small, white scars, all of them similar in shape and size; like small, figure eights. _"What the hell?"_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 _Lia wandered, aimlessly, through the empty streets of Chicago, the icy air chilling her to the bone. She had to keep moving, but she was so tired, and the shivering was uncontrollable. She huddled down against the side of an old dumpster, her teeth chattering furiously._

 _She rubbed her hands together, in an attempt to warm up her freezing fingers, but it wasn't working. The dark-haired girl could barely keep her eyes open, and she slowly drifted out of consciousness._

 _She woke up, and it could've been minutes, or hours, later; Lia didn't know. She couldn't feel her legs, and her arms were all but numb, her face hurt and she knew she must be blue._

 _She struggled to even shift her eyes to look at the swirling white flakes of snow, and ice that fell from the grey sky, and her eyes felt heavy. When she closed her eyes this time, they did not open. Lia had frozen to death._

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _"Eric, talk to me!" Lia screamed at the blonde, who was sitting behind his desk, in his office, ignoring her as he signed different sheets of paper. Four walked in the room, then, throwing an envelope in front of the young leader._

 _"Max needs you to take a look at these, and report back within the hour," the brown-haired instructor said, not sparing a glance towards the amber-eyed girl._

 _"Four, tell him to talk to me!" Cordelia begged, moving to stand directly in front of the other man. But Four didn't make eye contact with her, and said nothing, as if she wasn't there. He simply turned, and walked out the door._

 _She felt her heart begin to race, and she wondered if she was invisible; maybe she had died._

 _The dark-haired girl moved to lean over so she was right by Eric's ear, and she screamed, a blood-curdling scream. It didn't faze the young leader._

 _Lia tore at her hair, in frustration, and fear, her heart beating furiously in it's cavity inside her chest. She fell to her knees, and forced her breathing to calm down._

SWITCH-SWITCH-SWITCH

 _"I- I d- don't, don't l- love y- you, L- lia."_

 _"You're lying to me!"_

 _"I- I- I ch- ch- changed, changed m- my m- m- mind, a- about, about y- you," Eric said evenly, fixing the dark-haired girl with an icy glare, as he turned on his heel, and walked out the door, leaving Cordelia alone._

 _The former Candor rushed towards the door, attempting to run after the young leader, but an invisible barrier would not allow her to leave the room. "Eric! Eric! Please, come back! Don't leave me!"_

 _Lia tried to leave again, but was still met with the invisible forcefield, and it caused her to fall backwards to the floor, where she turned on her side, and curled up in a ball, and cried, until she fell asleep._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Huh, looks like that was the last one," Tobias informed Cordelia, once she had opened her eyes, panting heavily. "Tomorrow, and forward, you'll be working on all of them, at once, to work on your time, but right now, you're at sixteen minutes in total, so you got nothing to worry about."

Lia just nodded, as she stared down at her hands, hesitating to leave. Four noticed this, and frowned, raising an eyebrow. "Something wrong, Lia?"

"Um..." the Candor transfer knew that Eric and Four were close friends, and she hoped maybe he could enlighten her about the near-invisible scars that covered the young leader. "Have you... have you ever noticed the little scars that Eric has?"

"What are you talking about?" the brown-haired instructor inquired, his brow furrowed in confusion. He knew about the scar from Eric's accident, and the scars from the young leader's suicide attempt, but other than that... he hadn't noticed anything.

"He's... he's got these little, white scars, about this big," Lia held up her pointer finger, and her thumb, about an inch apart for a visual. "They're all over chest, and shoulders, and back... they're weird."

"I never noticed anything," Four started, crossing his arms over his chest, and shifting his weight to one leg. "But, it's not like I was gonna stare at another dude's chest in the shower's, either, Lia."

"Oh," the dark-haired girl responded, forcing an uneasy smile to her face. "Oh, right, yeah. Of course." Her intuition was raging, and her curiousity was killing her.

"What do you mean by 'weird'?" Tobias pressed, moving closer to the amber-eyed girl, noticing her worried expression.

"I don't know... like, maybe... I don't know. Sorry I brought it up," Cordelia waved her hand to dismiss the subject, and quickly left the fear sim room, in search of the one person she felt would help her with this mystery. Lauryn.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Root?" the red-head asked, incredulously. "No, there's no way that was Eric... It can't be, I mean... Eric's so... Eric?"

"Please, I just need to see that article," Cordelia pleaded with the green-eyed woman, wringing her hands, nervously. "We both know he wouldn't say anything, but, I just need to know, one way or the other."

Lauryn sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead, and shaking her head a bit. "Okay," she breathed. "Okay, I'll see what I can do. I honestly didn't even know he had lost his parents, or lived with foster families. I mean, he was upset on Visiting Day, but... I thought his parents just chose not to come, ya' know? It's not uncommon."

"Just get as much information from the case file as you can, okay?" Lia pressed, her eyes begging, and grateful, at the same time. "It won't change anything, but, I can't stand not knowing."

"If that _was_ Eric... he's going to be really, _really_ pissed at me," the red-head stated, sadly, sighing. "He already hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, Lauryn," the dark-haired girl assured, placing a hand on the Dauntless-born instructor's shoulder, and giving her a small smile. "He feels bad about what he said, yesterday, I know he does. I could see it in his eyes, when you walked away. Just tell him what you told me, yeah? He loves you like a sister."

"I really hope you're wrong about this case," the green-eyed woman said, turning to walk out the doors, with Lia on her heels.

 **A/N:** I know, I'm so bad about vaguely throwing the plot twists out there, lol. But, come on, some of you already guessed he had a rough start in life, right? Well, hang on, it's pretty rough:/ But, don't worry, I'll be throwing in plenty of fluff, and lots more awesome music! And yeah, now that they've played as a band, I can't just have Eric going solo all the time, lol :)


	19. Chapter Seventeen - Revelations

**Author's Note:**

SO SORRY it took so long to update! I've been dying to post this, but my computer's been spazzing on me, and been giving me trouble connecting to the internet, it's pretty touch and go, lol :/ Anyway, thanks all for your patience, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Fair warning, this chapter and the next (and possibly even the one after that) are going to be pretty rough. We're learning quite a bit about Eric's past, and the reason for the **PASTBOMB** is because of his current predicament, and his past will play a major roll in some of his upcoming episodes. It's pretty sad, and... yeah. Like, I know way too much about some of this crap, and it's kinda why I decided to have Eric go through it (in a more extreme form, though), just because I've had personal experience with most of the crap. Anywho... SHOUTOUTS!

 **RisughXD** \- Thank you! I wish I could've done it more descriptive, because the original scene I had written was pretty steamy, and rather violent, and then I was like, "well shit, I kinda rated this story 'T'." *sigh* I liked my original scene better, like honestly, I was not happy with the short, pretty much "normal-sex" version, lol :) And here you will learn about it! :) ILY2! (Go read **The Last Scene** )

 **mona-rose** \- I'm glad you liked it! You are about to find out about them! :) ILY (Go read **Alone** )

 **EvieLyn** \- I know! Still not the way I wanted it to go, though. You shall see... lol :) (Go read **Take Care** , which by the way, has just been added to the community Eric-Centric)

 **Craseelix1190** \- Wow! binge read! that's flattering! :) I'm glad you're enjoying it! :) don't cry! :( Here's your Eric fix:) Although, like I mentioned above, the next couple chapters (including this one) might be rather difficult to read:( It's pretty sad:( I know! I'm proud of him, too! :) (Go read **Fire and Ashe** )

 **Electric Blue Reader** \- I love your reviews! They're hilarious, lol :) And yep, you totally called it, lol :) yep, they had the 's word' lol :) I like the weirdness! And thank you ! :)

 **interdictum in aeternum** \- I missed you! :) It's okay, I understand:) It's definitely going to be angst... pretty pitiful stuff actually, like this chapter gets information across, but isn't really descriptive about things, but coming chapters we're going to be seeing detailed, Eric POV experiences, it's sad:( Like, I was literally crying just typing out the rough drafts for those chapters:( So glad to see you, though! :) xoxo

 **lovearielx** \- I'm glad I've intrigued you! I will answer that question at a later date, I PROMISE! :) Well, we all know Eric isn't really one for opening up, but come on... Lia's "doing something to me, Smart Mouth" to Eric, lol :) Yeah, he'll talk about stuff a bit, a little later on :)

 **Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins** \- Wow! Thank you! I'm so glad you're in love with it! :) Welcome! Hope to see more of you! :)

 **NL92** \- Here ya' go! *posts chapter so you can find out what I had in store* :)

 **Simana** \- I know! I was so proud of him for standing up to them, and not just using brute force, he was able to intimidate with his words and glare, too! You're about to find out a WHOLE LOT about it:) It's kinda different though, and VERY loosely based on some of my own experiences, so hopefully it will feel pretty real when we get into the little Eric POV scenes:) will not be happy scenes, might cause lots of tears, jus sayin'.

Thanks again for everyone who reviewed! Ya'll literally make my days brighter:) And thanks to everyone who faved and followed, and if you haven't yet ya' know the drill :) Love to hear feedback! Thoughts, theories, all that:) Love you guys!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Three days later, once all the fear training simulations were finished for the day, Tobias went out in search of his blonde friend, unable to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach any longer. Cordelia had been vague about her suspicions, a rare oddity for a Candor, and Tobias could not calm the knots twisting in his gut. He knew where he could find Eric, as the young leader always spent the early mornings, and afternoons maintaining his physique in the training room.

And, as usual, there was the blonde, attacking one of the many heavy bags with a skilled expertise. Tobias didn't think that the blue-eyed instructor was aware of his presence, so he was startled when Eric addressed him.

"L- l- lauryn, Lauryn an- and I- I, w- we h- h- had a, a t- talk th- this m- m- morning," the blonde stated evenly, as he continued his assault against the yellowing canvas.

"Yeah?" Four said, raising his eyebrows, slightly surprised that his friend would give up holding a grudge so quickly; though, the speedy recovery of best-friendship status probably had something to do with the blue-eyed man not wanting to have any regrets.

"Y- yeah," the young leader confirmed, ceasing his movements momentarilly, to wipe the moisture from his brow with the back of his hand, before removing his sweat-soaked, grey t-shirt and resuming his exercise. "W- we're, we're g- g- good, n- now."

"Awesome," Tobias replied, scanning his eyes over the young leader's back. _"I don't see any scars..."_ "I guess Lauryn can smoke with us now, and laugh at what a light-weight stoner you are."

The blue-eyed man chuckled at the statement, as he pounded into the punching bag, causing it to sway violently, and he had to place a calloused palm against the canvas to prevent it from slamming into him between punches."Y- yeah."

Four slowly moved closer, deciding to take a few swings at the bag to the young leader's right, for a better vantage point. In between each hit, the brown-haired instructor would shift his honey-brown orbs to the left, attempting to catch sight of these scars that Lia had told him about. He still couldn't see anything, though, and he had to suppress a groan of frustration. If Candor was tricking him just so he would feel awkward and get caught staring at _Eric_ after his 'hey baby' comment while under the influence... well, she would be unpleasantly surprised when her next fear serum ended up causing her to shit herself.

"Hey, can I get a water?" Tobias inquired, thinking quickly, when he caught sight of Eric's things leaning against the stone column to the blonde's immediate left; that would definitely be close enough to see. "I'm parched."

"I- I, I d- d- don't c- care, S- s- stiff," the blue-eyed man answered, with a joking grin, as he stilled the punching bag, before swinging out with his right arm, muscles flexing beneath taut skin.

Four cleared his throat a bit, moving behind Eric and kneeling down beside him as he slowly twisted the cap off the bottle, tilting his head back and to the right a bit as he squinted at his friend's upper body.

 _"What the fuck?"_

"H- huh?" the blonde halted his routine, and turned to raise a quizical eyebrow at the brown-haired instructor, who was staring at him with an odd expression.

"Huh?" Tobias repeatedly dumbly, quickly averting his eyes as he tipped the bottle of water back and allowed the cool liquid to slide down his throat.

"Y- you s- s- said, 'wh- wh- what th- the-'."

"I said that out loud?" Four inquired, horrified, as his eyes widened at the thought that not only had he been caught staring at his friend's naked torso, he had brought the attention on himself, with a question that was intended to remain inside of his head. Tobias couldn't help but scan his eyes over the dozens, upon dozens, of nearly-invisible marks, again. _"How did I not notice those before?"_ Some part of Four's brain suggested that he simply hadn't been looking for them, as it was extremely hard to distinguish the pale scars, that nearly blended in with Eric's pale skin.

"Y- yeah... wh- what are y- y- you, what are-...?" the young leader trailed off when he realized what the brown-haired instructor was staring at. He set his mouth in a thin line, as he reached down in front of Tobias to grab his shirt, throwing it over his head, quickly. "I- I, I g- g- gotta, gotta g- go."

"Shit, Eric, wait," Four said, with a sigh, as he stood to his feet, grabbing a hold of the blonde's scarred, and tattooed, forearm, preventing his exit. He sighed again, when Eric didn't make eye contact, opting to look past the brown-haired instructor's shoulder, pointedly, with a blank mask. "Just... fucking wait."

The blue-eyed man continued to stare at a random point past Tobias' shoulder, swallowing repeatedly, while the slightly more slender man ran a hand through his mussy, brown locks, contemplating what to say.

"Look," Four began, with a resigned tone of voice. "You know about Marcus... Is-... Is that what-?"

"N- no!" Eric barked, shrugging out of the other man's grip, roughly. "I- I, I a- ac- actually h- had g- g- great, great p- parents! D- don't, don't... d- d- don't c- compare m- m- my d- dad, dad w- with y- y- your's!"

"Okay..." the brown-haired man wasn't sure what to say to that; it was clearly implied through the past tense phrasing, that Eric's parents were gone. "Sorry... I just-... Bro, what the fuck? What the fuck _is_ that shit?"

The blonde was shocked, and felt slightly uncomfortable, at the way his former Abnegation friend's voice broke on the last sentence. Regardless, he wanted to leave the past, in the past. "F- four... j- just, just d- d- d- don't, o- okay?" Eric turned to go again, shaking his head, but Tobias grabbed his other arm, causing the blonde to release an exasperated groan. "Wh- wh- what?!" he roared, the angry sound echoing through the large, open space of the empty training room.

The two men stood in silence for several, tense moments; the blonde glaring at Four, and fuming, like a cornered and wounded animal. Eric's icy-blue orbs revealed nothing but pure fury, refusing to let the other man see the dark secrets contained within the depths of his soul. Four was confused, and concerned, and simply gazed wearily at the young leader, uncertain of how to approach this situation.

"What the hell are those scars from, Eric?" he started, his voice quiet, and calm, even in the midst of his internal turmoil. "What the fuck would make a scar like that? Who did that to you?! And don't tell me it's not any of my fucking business, because when everybody else left you, it was me! I was there for you! I pulled you off that car, and out of the line of fire! I kept your ass from bleeding out! I relayed the words you were too scared, or too ashamed to speak! I was the one that kept your self-conscious ass from losing your position! I took over _your_ responsibilites! And I did it all asking _nothing_ in return, because I wanted to! I was fucking _there_ for you!"

Eric didn't know what to say to that; Four was right, on all points. Yeah, Lauryn was there, too, but Tobias was _always_ there; Tobias was the brother he never had, and didn't deserve. _"I don't even want to think about this shit..."_

"Say something, man," the brown-haired instructor pleaded, releasing his hold on the blue-eyed man's arm, his own slightly thinner arms falling loosely by his sides. "Please, tell me something."

The blonde closed his eyes for a moment, the memories sending the all-too-familiar waves of panic through his mind, and his pulse quickened with the irrational paranoia that this, _this_ life at Dauntless, was simply a product of fear; an escape from real life. The paranoia that _this_ life at Dauntless, wasn't real, and he would eventually wake up, and be thirteen again, back in Erudite. _"Nope, don't you fucking think like that, Eric. You went through too much shit, to go back to that, now. Besides, if this was an escape, I wouldn't be dying right now... I don't think."_

"Eric-."

"R- r- root, Root," the young leader blurted out, quickly, his breathing slightly labored, as he took a couple of staggering steps backwards. He spared a nervous glance at Tobias' face, saw the fearful shock cross over the other man's features, and then he turned around and walked away, briskly. Eric knew that Four knew, now; Tobias' father had been present at the trial, as a part of the jury that decided his foster parents' fate. _"Darkly ironic..."_ he thought to himself, with a humorless chuckle, as he shoved through the exit into the corridor.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Hey."

"Hey," the dark-haired girl replied, moving to the side to allow Lauryn entrance into Eric's apartment, where she was currently lounging around before her friends, and the young leader, would show up to smoke, and jam. There was another good twenty minutes, before anybody showed up, though. Eric exercized, religiously, every day; in the wee hours of morning, and in the early afternoons.

"It isn't much, but..." the red-head started, taking a seat on the couch, as Cordelia joined her. "It was really hard to get, too."

The amber-eyed girl swallowed thickly, staring at Lauryn expectantly, as she waited for the Dauntless-born instructor to say something. She didn't, so Lia did. "...And?"

The red-head offered a small, tired smile, for the former Candor. "I actually haven't even looked at it, yet... I'm scared; I didn't want to do it, by myself... I just know there are a few documents here that pertain to Justice Hall versus Root... specifically, the victim in the case."

Lia took a deep breath, and gestured for the green-eyed woman to go ahead and open the manilla envelope; just get it over with. "Let's have a look, then," she said, as Lauryn pulled out three sheets of paper.

"This is a notification of sentencing with Eric's name, Lia..."

* * *

 **Notice of Disposition**

E. E. Thomas

Leader Suite, 101A

Erudite

 **Justice Hall VS. Root, Dean & Claudia**

 **Candor Family Justice Case Number:** 000-147-2298-04

 **Presiding Judge:** Hon. Robert Ward

 **Charges:**

Unauthorized & Hazardous medical and/or scientific experimentation on a human being / Cruel and unusal punishment - 1st Degree / Child abuse - 1st Degree / Gross Negligence - 2nd Degree

 **Dear**

Everett E. Thomas

This letter is to inform you of the outcome in the above-named case in which you are the victim. The defendant(s) appeared on 29 December 2268, and was found GUILTY/NOT GUILTY of ALL charge(s), and 0 charge(s) were dismissed. The Council sentenced the defendant(s) to the following:

Immediate Removal from Faction - Erudite

If you have continuing concerns or questions, please do not hesitate to contact our office.

Yours truthfully,

 **Candice Ward**

Victim Advocate - The Court of Family Justice

Office 3B, Ward Advocacy Center for Dependants

 _30 December 2268_

* * *

"Fuck... it was him," Lauryn sighed, dejectedly, handing over the paper to Lia for her to scan over the words for herself. The red-head supposed that Cordelia's expression, was probably a mirror image of her own.

"Wait..." the dark-haired girl said, with a frown. "That's my mom!"

"Huh? What's your mom?" the green-eyed woman inquired, peeking over Lia's shoulder. "Candice Ward... Oh, hey. Yeah. I've met her a couple of times, ya' know, when we have to get Family Justice involved... It doesn't happen as often as you'd think, though, as violent as our faction is."

"This is kinda weird," Cordelia sighed, exhaling in a huff. "I mean, I already knew my dad handled the case, but... My mom wrote my boyfriend a letter, before he was my boyfriend; weird."

"Nah, that was just her job," the red-head waved the other girl's silliness off. "Besides, Eric isn't in to cougars... I don't think..."

"Ha ha, very funny," the dark-haired girl dead-panned, half-heartedly. She wasn't feeling very humorous given what they had just learned about Eric, even if it was a bit vague, and she wasn't in the mood to explain her parents' deaths, again. "What else you got, there?"

"Um..." Lauryn scanned over both of the remaining sheets quickly, her eyes widening, in near-disbelief, before shaking her head and passing the sheets to Lia, with the oldest-dated sheet, on top.

* * *

 **Page 1**

 **Erudite Transitional Sanitarium for Dependants**

 _Knowledge. Acceptance. Healing._

 **Inpatient Intake**

 **Client Case Number:** 000-147-2298-04

 **Date of Intake Session:** 03-October-2268

 **Date of Report:** 10-October-2268

 **Client Name:** Everett E. Thomas

 **Date of Birth:** 15-March-2255

 **Referral for Treatment:** Matthers, Chelsea (RTP - Ph.D)

 **Emergency Contact:** N/A

 **Presenting Difficulties:**

Client is unable to engage in preliminary assessment at this time.

 **History of Presenting Difficulties:**

Client is unable to engage in preliminary assessment at this time.

 **Significant Life History and Background Information:**

Client is unable to engage in preliminary assessment at this time.

 **Significant Medical History:**

Client has no significant medical history prior to 28 September 2268.

 **Clinical Observations and Impressions:**

Physically, the Client has sustained 192 second-degree burns, all at different stages of healing; the burns are approximately one-inch long, and the wounds that have healed completely have become hypo-pigmented scars, located across the majority of Client's torso, as well as deep bruises encircling Client's wrists apparently caused by plastic slip ties, according to the DPR of how Client was discovered. The Client also appears to be grossly malnourished, dehydrated, and fatigued; Client refused sleep for the first four days upon arrival at ETSD, before sleeping for 27 hours, straight, approxamately one week after being removed from the home of Dean and Claudia Root.

The Client exhibits signs of severe disorientation, and seems unable to comprehend any awareness, or recognition, of time and location. Client has been witnessed mumbling, incoherently, and carrying out illogical, rambling conversations that are nonsensical in nature with non-existent entities. The Client appears to be struggling with delusional misidentification, and perceives all persons to mean him ill-intent.

Client has displayed a rather odd behavior on several occasions, repeatedly insisting that he "swore he was awake", to no one in particular, or even directly addressing the technicians caring for him when in a state of delusional misidentification.

 **Diagnostic Impressions:**

The Client's clinical presentation suggests that he suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; a precipitated form of severe, Acute Delirium; Depersonalization; and possible, audio hallucinations.

 **Recomendations and Preliminary Treatment Plan:**

As soon as Client is coherent, I suggest an exploratory psychodynamic-psychotherapy at a frequency of once per day, with an emphasis on discovering the details of the precipitating causes of his fragile mental, and emotional state. The exception to the exploration, would depend on how quickly the investigation with the Client's legal guardians is complete, and if I receive the results in a timely fashion, I will proceed with an alternative treatment approach.

I am prescribing a change in Client's current medication that he was started on at EMC, risperidone, which has worsened the signs of delirium and depersonalization, and increased paranoia. I suggest a trial with another, atypical antipsychotic, quetiapine, 40mg/ml twice daily for two weeks, unless adverse reactions occur.

 **Intake Completed by:**

 _Jonathan H. Williams, M.D._

* * *

Lia felt numb, as she slid the first paper out of the way, to read the next page. _"Eric was admitted to a psychiatric hospital..."_

* * *

 **Page 2**

 **Erudite Transitional Sanitarium for Dependants**

 _Knowledge. Acceptance. Healing._

 **Inpatient Quarterly Report**

 **Client Case Number:** 000-147-2298-04

 **Date of Quarterly Session:** 01-January-2269

 **Date of Report:** 08-January-2269

 **Client Name:** Everett E. Thomas

 **Date of Birth:** 15-March-2255

 **Referral for Treatment:** Matthers, Chelsea (RTP - Ph.D)

 **Emergency Contact:** N/A

 **Presenting Difficulties:**

Client refuses to participate in assessment; his only "request" is the light be left on his room at night. Client refuses to participate in weekly, group therapy sessions, and does not engage in conversation, or any interaction whatsoever, with the other residents. The Client attends his daily psychotherapy sessions, but refuses to answer most questions directed towards the 67-day stay with Dean and Claudia Root. From outside observation, Client appears to have trust issues, severe anxiety around large groups of people, and extreme paranoia.

 **History of Presenting Difficulties:**

Client refuses to participate in assessment, although we now know, thanks to the gracious cooperation of Candor Family Justice, and the Ward Advocacy Center for Dependants, several details surrounding his stay with Dean and Claudia Root.

Under Truth Serum, both defendants admitted to conducting research for TSD on the Client, without his consent, to observe the physical and psychological affects on a human. It was admitted that both defendants were Heads of Psychology Research Dept.s I and II, and lacked authorization for any human testing on their current focus of study. It was also admitted, that the defendants limited food, and water, intake, so as not to interfere with the success of the study, during that time, and that the defendants had restrained the boy to keep him from escaping.

Dean and Claudia Root confessed to forcing the boy to stay awake by prodding him with a non-lethal electroshock weapon, enhanced by a diode-capicitor voltage multiplier, thus directly resulting in 192 hypo-pigment scars across Client's chest, shoulders, and back, due to low-current electrical burns. It was admitted that the defendants would purposely isolate the Client in total darkness, to disrupt the normal rhythm of his internal clock, and inducing hallucinations for analytical observation.

Both defendants admitted that they knew what they did was wrong, but argued that the strict guidelines and policies at Erudite were preventing the increase of knowledge for their study on the physical, and psychological aspects of Total Sleep Deprivation.

Both defendants have been found guilty by the Candor Family Justice system, and have been removed from Erudite, and forced to live Factionless.

 **Significant Life History and Background Information:**

Client refuses to participate in assessment, at this time, but Jeanine Matthews was able to provide us with some information. The Client's parents were killed when Client was a Fourth Year, and he has been placed in four different foster families since 17 June 2265.

According to Miss. Matthews, the Client was a "very intelligent youngster", but that the Client would often skip classes in favor of spending leisure time with Dauntless-born children around his age. Miss. Matthews stated that the Client was a wild, and rambunctious, adolescent, while still maintaining an air of chivalry, and politeness, and was "indeed a joy" to engage in intelligent theoretical, and moral, debates.

 **Significant Medical History:**

Severe and debilitating emotional, and psychological, trauma.

Severe malnourishment caused by a forced limitation of food intake; starvation.

 **Clinical Observations and Impressions:**

The Client has greatly improved, physically, with rest and nutrients. The same cannot be said for the emotional, and mental, state of the Client; while he is now mostly coherent, the Client is withdrawn, and suffers from panic attacks on a regular basis.

It is now confirmed that Client does, indeed, suffer from auditory hallucinations, especially when he is left alone, or in the dark.

 **Diagnostic Impressions:**

The Client's clinical presentation confirms that he suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; a precipitated form of severe, Acute Delirium; frequent night terrors; Depersonalization; and auditory, and occasionally visual, hallucinations. The Client still occasionally has episodes of delusional misidentification, as well as an intense fear of the dark.

 **Recomendations and Continuing Treatment Plan:**

Client is currently receiving 300mg/5ml injections of Lithium twice daily, and 5mg/1ml of Haloperidol once daily. Client attends daily psychotherapy sessions, but rarely responds, even still I am having the Client continue to attend the private sessions, in hopes of a breakthrough.

 **Report Completed by:**

 _Jonathan H. Williams, M.D._

* * *

"Oh my god... I only knew the charges, because my dad was the judge, but... oh my god," Lia said, quietly, unable to fully process what she had just read. "I didn't know it had been that bad... what's total sleep deprivation? And what's depersonalization? ...And what's delusional misidentification mean?"

"Um..." Lauryn said, biting her lip while she thought. "I don't really know... I was Dauntless-born, not Erudite."

"And they just let them go?!" Cordelia shrieked, growing angry. She was angry at the Council, who acted as a jury, and she was angry at her deceased father. Those people deserved nothing less than execution, in her eyes. "What kind of people do that to a thirteen-year-old child?!"

"A- are y- you... are you f- f- fucking, fucking sh- shitting me, r- right n- n- now?!"

The dark-haired girl and Lauryn turned their heads at the same time to see Eric standing in the doorway of his apartment, sweaty and pale, and seething. "E- Eric, I-."

"G- get o- o- out!" the blonde shouted, moving to grab both girls by their upper arms, and attempting to throw them out into the corridor. Lia was too shocked to fight against him, not that she would have been able to, anyway.

"Wait, Eric, please let me expl-!" Cordelia's words were cut short, as the door slammed in her face, and the lock could be heard clicking into place. The amber-eyed girl grew very afraid, and proceeded to bang on the door. "Eric! Eric, please! Let me in!" Lia was growing hysterical; this was her absolute worst fear. "Eric! Eric!"

"Lia!" Lauryn pulled the other girl away from the door, and it took all of the strength that a fourth-ranking, third-year member of Dauntless could muster to pry her away. "Lia, just... let's just give him some time, okay? Give him time."

"Time? Are you kidding me?!" Cordelia screamed, in terror and anger. "He's almost _out_ of time, and I just ruined everything! This is my fault, Lauryn! He's never gonna talk to me again! What am I supposed to do?!" the amber-eyed girl was sobbing now, and screaming through the hot tears that fell over her pale cheeks. "What do I do?"

"I- I'm, t- t- trying!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The young leader slammed the door on both of the girls; he needed some time. He turned his back on the door, and slid down to the floor, feeling his anger ebbing away slowly, and giving way to the numbness that he hadn't experienced in years.

 _"Everett, you have to stay awake!" - Claudia_

"I- I'm, t- t- trying!" Eric shouted, through gritted teeth as he felt a searing, white-hot pain shoot his body.

 _"Everett, what you are doing is important for the sake of knowledge. You should be grateful to be a part of this!" - Dean_

"F- f- for, for wh- what?!"

 _"You're an insolent little bastard, aren't you?" - Claudia_

 _"Everett..." - a girl?_

 _"Everett." - who is that?_

 _"Everett..." "Everett..." "Everett." "Weak..."_

"N- no I- I- I'm, I'm n- not..." Eric placed his head in his hands, and he began to laugh, manically, along with the voices in his head, at his own stupidity.


	20. Chapter Eighteen - Inside My Head

**Author's Note:**

Okay guys, here's another one... I actually had to cut a lot of stuff out of it, because... well, it was too much for me! I want you guys to get through it without choking on tears! So, this is the tame version... VERY tame, lol :) And I threw in some lighter stuff at the end! I want to hear from guys, because I love to hear what you all have to say! So, to thank those of you who reviewed...

 **Guest (Jen)**

\- I'm sorry the last chapter broke your heart! Here! *stitches heart back together* Thank you so much for reading, and reviewing! Hope to hear from you again:)

 **mrsbishop21**

\- Thank you! I'm glad it affected you! And don't worry, Eric loves Lia, even if he hasn't said the words yet (don't worry, they're coming!), he's disappointed, but more than anything he was embarrassed that they knew about his past, and he just wanted to forget.

 **NL92**

\- Holy crap! Thanks for saying that was amazing! hehehe, don't worry;)

 **Craseelix1190**

\- You have no idea how much I just loved reading your review! It made me squeal, coz, well... **Fire and Ashe** is one of my favorites! (guys, please go read it if you haven't already, it's awesome!) And, yeah, I know. Like, I've had to redo so much of my writing, because I just couldn't get through it! Like, I was crying so hard for what THIS chapter was supposed to be that I couldn't even see my computer screen! So, I've toned it down, considerably:) Thank you so much! ILY

 **sharonmayes353**

\- I know! And we've only skimmed the surface! (that's all I'm saying, because I'm saving a bunch of stuff for down the road;) ) Thanks for the review!

 **RisughXD**

\- Girl, ILY! :) Thank you so much! Breathe, slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth. There, better? :) And thank you:) Yeah, I thought it would be interesting; I haven't seen anyone else do that, and I'm trying my hardest to be as original as possible. Here's more! (And guys, please go read **The Last Scene** , it's freaking awesome!)

 **interdictum in aeternum**

\- No, it's not wrong! I know what you mean! I like to see Eric suffer, too, but only because I hate to see him suffer, catch my drift? lol, can't believe I just said that shit, lol :) Thank you so much! I'm glad it's not completely unbelievable and yeah... horror story past was what I was going for, lol :) Like, I'm rereading your review right, like I always do, when I go to reply on here, and like, I'm crying from your compliments! Like, I just- *bawls in corner from wonderful, unexpected compliments* ILY! :)

 **murmelinchen**

\- Murmy! Hi! :) Thank you so much for the review of Chapter 18! :) I know you been really busy, but I hope you're having fun! And here's a big hug for when you get time to read this! *HUGS YOU SO TIGHT YOU SQUEAK* Now, EVERYBODY go read **Last Resort** , **She will be his downfall** , and Murmy's songfic: **I cannot lose what is not mine** ALL of them are awesome! :)

 **Guest**

 **(unnamed)** \- You are right on! Like, **to explain a bit** : Lia thought Four might know about the scars, he didn't so it was new information. Lia had an idea that he might be the "victim" from a horrifying case when her father put the accused couple out on the streets, but she HAD to know, ya know? Like, ya know. And Lauryn didn't really believe it, at first, but she wanted to help Lia out, because she knew that either way, the girl wasn't gonna drop it. I mean, it'd be better if Eric never knew they knew, right? Except then Four can't stand not knowing, and he confronts Eric after finding the scars for himself, and he feels kinda cheated, because he told Eric about Marcus, and he's done so much for Eric, ya know? And that's why Eric left his exercize early and walked in on Lia and Lauryn's conversation.. *WHEW - gotta catch my breath now!* lol :) Yeah, they all shoulda known better, but I hope that clears it up a little bit:) Thanks for the review!

 **Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins**

\- I'm sorry! I can't make any promises! I mean, his hourglass it's getting pretty low though... Thank you so much, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story! :)

 **kadejenkins141-kj**

\- An obsession?! Wow! Astounding?! OMG! You're IN LOVE WITH IT?! AHHHHHHH! Thank you so so so so so much! I love your review! Please don't hesitate to continue to leave feedback, it really brightens my day:) I hope you haven't gone insane during the wait! :( Here, read this!

Alright, guys, thanks so much for all of your reviews! I can't get enough! I love them! Any new readers please fave/follow/review and I always respond :) I hope you guys enjoy this, and I hope I toned it down enough, but I couldn't just throw EVERYTHING out, I needed to get across some stuff, lol :)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 **Eric's POV:**

It wasn't real.

I never went to Dauntless, never met Four, Lauryn, or Lia. I never became the leader, that I'd thought I had. I never escaped; never got away. Hell, I even imagined that thirteen-month stint in the looney bin.

It was another hallucination; a result of _their_ sick experiment.

Clearly, the only reason they agreed to take me in, was because they saw an opportunity to do what they had been begging, and filling out applications for, for years. Dean and Claudia have been researching the effects of total sleep deprivation on animals, but it was never what they really wanted to find out. They wanted to know what the lack of sleep over long periods of time did to a human; and I am that human.

I am simply an experiment to them; nothing more than a test subject to observe.

How did I ever get so lucky?

I wish I could go back to that hallucination... I was dying in it, but, it was better than this. Maybe, if I focus really hard on what I remember from it, I'll end up back there...

I squeeze my eyes shut tight, my face probably turning red from straining to reenter the life that my imagination had created.

"Stay awake, Everett!" I hear Dean shout, close to my ear, before I feel the burning sensation on my shoulder blade, and my breathing stops momentarily, as my body seizes up, shaking, from the electricity running through me. "Keep your eyes open! I don't want to have to do this to you, but you aren't giving me a choice! Stay awake!"

The currents rippling through me are suddenly gone, and my eyes shoot open, as I struggle to catch my breath, grinding my teeth together from the lingering pain of the shock. "I- I, I'm a- awake!"

"You know you aren't supposed to close your eyes; not even for a second!" Claudia glared at me, before exchanging a glance with Dean, and nodding her head a bit. "I'll get the ear piece."

Damn. I was only trying to get back in the hallucination! I don't want to go back to that room... "P- p- please!" I beg with widened, fearful eyes. "I- I, I w- wasn't, wasn't th- th- thinking! I- I, I w- won't d- d- do it, do it a- again, I- I s- s- swear!"

My attempts are futile, as Dean hauls me up out of the chair by my bound wrists, all but dragging me to what was originally supposed to be my bedroom. All that room has been used for is more torture; they use my own mind against me. It seems like it is taking longer than usual to get there...

I don't bother struggling against the man, as he forces me down to the floor and leans me against the wall in the empty room; there is no furniture, no windows, no anything. Dean bends down to restrain my ankles with the plastic ties, when Claudia enters the room. She places the small, metal ball in my left ear; the device detects when I'm on the verge of sleep, and sends a shock through me, but it doesn't burn.

"Pl- please d- don't, don't l- l- leave m- me in, in h- here a- again!" I try once more, pleading with my foster parents, hoping for an inkling of compassion from the couple that are strictly focused on their research.

But, I'm never that lucky; I'm shit out of luck.

"Learn to keep your eyes open, Everett," Dean responds, cooly, before they exit the room, slamming the door behind them.

I wait, trembling, in the corner.

I know what comes next.

The lights begin to flicker momentarily, before I am surrounded by darkness.

"F- f- fuck..." I know it's only a matter of time; the hallucinations will start soon. The thing is, once they start, I don't realize that they're hallucinations anymore; they are real. It doesn't take long.

I hear what sounds like fingernails scraping along the length of the wall, the sound growing louder, the closer it gets. My heart is racing, frantically, as I strain my eyes to attempt to see through the blackness engulfing me. I hear a dark, low chuckle, and I freeze.

"Who is there?" my voice has risen a few octaves from the fear of what it is that I can't see, and the chuckle turns into hysterical laughter. I momentarily catch sight of two, small lights moving towards me, and it strikes fear through my bones, as I realize that they are eyes. "G- get, get away from me!"

"Everett!" I snap my head to the right, when I hear the soft, female voice that sing-sung my name, and she giggles. "Everett..."

"Everett!" that was a man's voice, coming from what I assume is the direction of the door. More and more voices join in, singing a chorus of my name in a dark, overlapping melody; it's all jumbled together.

"Leave me alone!" I scream, my voice raw and gritty, and I can feel myself trembling in terror.

"Everett." That's my dad!

"Dad!" I laugh in relief, as the blackness falls away, revealing my father and mother sitting on a bench in the sunlit courtyard outside at Erudite. "Mom!"

Their smiling faces take over my mind, and I run towards them, longing to be near them. "Everett!" my mom laughs, as I barrel into her, hugging her tightly. I feel the wind pick up around us, blowing my mom's long, blonde hair into my face, and I laugh as I spit the light-colored strands out of my mouth.

I turn to shake my dad's hand, and when I do, I realize that we aren't standing in the courtyard, anymore. We are on the roof of what appears to be a very tall building, thus the reason the strength of the wind increased. "What's... going on?" I inquire, an uneasy feeling gripping my insides, as I peer down over the edge calculating that we must be at least a hundred stories up. I turn around quickly when I hear two, loud BANGs, and the smiling faces of my parents are replaced with grimaces of pain.

"No!" I scream, when I notice the bullet holes staining their foreheads, torrents of blood pouring from the wounds, as their bodies begin to melt away. I watch in horror as my parents dissolve, like brass in a melting pot, their bones and muscle turning into one, grotesque puddle.

I take a step back, in horror, and then I trip over the edge, and my body is falling through the air.

 **Third Person POV:**

"I- I'm, t- t- trying!"

Cordelia and the red-headed woman exchange a confused glance, when they hear the young leader's pained shout, only slightly muffled, coming from the other side of the door. "Trying what?" Lia asks, her gaze on the entry to the blonde's apartment.

"F- f- for, for wh- what?!"

Lauryn and the amber-eyed girl press their ears against the dark-colored wood, listening intently.

"N- no I- I- I'm, I'm n- not..."

"Is he talking to himself?" the dark-haired girl questions the Dauntless-born instructor, with wide eyes, confused about what is happening.

The green-eyed woman jiggles the doorknob, to no avail; Eric had locked the door, and only a few people had keys to all the rooms. "I don't know!" she exclaims, both of the girls jumping when they hear a bone-chilling scream from Eric. The sound of pounding footsteps approaching their location causes the two to look up, as Four skids to a halt by them, and he pounds on the door with both fists.

"Fuck!" he shouts, pulling at his mussy, brown hair. "This is my fault! I fucking _had_ to ask about those goddamned scars..." He groaned in frustration, before turning to address the women present. "What happened?"

"I overstepped a boundary," Lia admitted, with tears in her eyes, not bothering to swipe them away, and instead let them fall, soothingly, down her pale cheeks. "I wanted to know, just for the sake of knowing... Eric showed up early, and found it."

"Four," the red-head said, urgently, as she bore her eyes into his own honey-brown orbs. "Eric is talking to himself, and he's locked the door."

"I- I, I'm a- awake!" the blue-eyed man's terror-filled voice drifts from the other side of the door, once again.

Tobias hurriedly pulls the ring of keycards from his belt, finding the correct one, and sliding it through the box on the door. The entryway popped open, and the small group cautiously entered the young leader's domain.

"Eric..." Four tried, gently, to gain his distraught friend's attention, as he slowly approached the blonde instructor. The state of the man was frightening; his icy-blue orbs were unfocused when his gaze snapped up to the brown-haired instructor, and his entire body seemed to be vibrating uncontrollably.

"Hey guys! Let's-... what the fuck is going on?!" Uriah rushed to Eric's side, attempting to catch the other man's gaze. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's stuck in his head..." Tobias asserted, sighing, and rubbing at his tired eyes with his fists. "I don't know how to deal with this... this hasn't happened, before."

"P- p- please!" the blonde begged Tobias, with widened, fearful eyes, his breathing labored. "I- I, I w- wasn't, wasn't th- th- thinking! I- I, I w- won't d- d- do it, do it a- again, I- I s- s- swear!"

"What do we do?!" Lia asked, the tears flowing freely, as she wrung her hands. She felt so useless, and so guilty, and she knew that this was ultimately her fault. She was one who had brought up Eric's scars to Four. She was the one who had asked Lauryn to gather information, because she just had to know. Cordelia had never felt more selfish in her entire life.

"Maybe we could-... No," Uriah perked up, but his face fell, and he sighed. His brow furrowed together in concern, taking in the way the young leader's hands were shaking, and his slightly glazed over eyes that were full of fear. He didn't know what to make of this; but he did not like it, not one bit.

"What, Uriah?!" Four barked, his voice raising a bit, in annoyance, as he glared at the slightly darker-skinned Dauntless-born. "We're fresh out of ideas, so, please; enlighten us."

Uriah took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. "What if... what if we put him through his fear sim? Maybe... maybe it would snap him back? Like, I don't know..."

"That actually sounds like it's worth a try," Lauryn quips, raising her eyebrows, and looking to Tobias for confirmation. The brown-haired instructor glanced back down to his blonde friend, who was staring up at him, but not seeing him, and nodded, once.

"Uriah, help me out here," he ordered, moving to grab the blue-eyed man's left arm, pulling him up from the floor, as the dark-skinned boy grabbed his right arm. Four did not like the way that Eric was acting; it was more than unlike Eric... It wasn't Eric; it was Everett. _"Guess there was more than one reason he decided to use a different name..."_

The girls trailed behind, as the other men all but dragged the young leader down the hall, ignoring other member's stares and inquiries of concern. It didn't take long to reach the fear training rooms, and Uriah pushed the door on the right open, before the men hauled the blonde over to the metal chair, leaning him back against it.

"Pl- please d- don't, don't l- l- leave m- me in, in h- here a- again!"

"What the hell is he talkin' about?" Uriah asked, as he watched the brown-haired instructor prepare the syringe, and quickly injected the blonde's neck with the fear serum. "Don't leave him in where? Who is he talking to?"

"F- f- fuck..." Eric's voice trailed off, as his wide eyes fluttered shut, and the others moved to watch the monitor, crossing their fingers, and hoping against hope that this would work.

"Learn to keep your eyes open, Everett," a man with black hair says, cooly, before him and a chubby woman exit the room, slamming the door behind them.

A skinny, teenaged Eric, with dark, sunken eyes, cowers in the corner. The lights begin to flicker momentarily, before every inch of the room is surrounded by darkness.

Tobias turned the volume up on the side of the screen, the loud sound of scratching filling the small room. The much younger Eric could barely be seen in the darkness, but he knew that it was pitch black for the blonde. The brown-haired instructor felt a chill run up his spine, when he heard a low, menacing chuckle.

"Who is there?" Cordelia listened intently to her boyfriend's slightly scratchy, and cracking, teenaged voice, as it rose a few beats above what was probably normal for the blonde at that age. Her breathing picked up when the dark chuckle from the unseen entity turned into hysterical laughter; a horrifying sound.

"I think... I think we're seeing his current hallucination..." Four informed the other three, as his eyes stayed glued to the monitor.

Lauryn caught sight of what appeared to be a pair of beady, glowing eyes in the darkness, as the sound of scratching grew in volume, as well as the insane laughter.

"G- get, get away from me!" Eric screamed, in the simulation, attempting to scoot farther back, but he was leaning against a wall, and he had nowhere to go.

"Everett!... Everett..." Uriah heard the sound of a young girl, calling out in a sing-song voice, that was light and airy; that just made it even more creepy to hear.

"Everett!" a man's voice boomed out the speakers on the monitor, as more voices joined in, overlapping each other, and growing to an almost-deafening volume.

"Leave me alone!" the young leader screamed, through the simulation, his pubescent voice raw, and gritty, as he trembled, pushing his frail body back into the wall.

And just as quickly as the horrifying scene began, it switched. Tobias watched as the blackness fell away, and the sunlit courtyard at Erudite headquarters filled the screen. "Everett."

"Dad!" Simulation Eric laughed, as he caught sight of a young couple sitting together on a bench in the grassy courtyard, before sprinting towards them. Lia thought that the casual button-down, white shirt with a dark-blue vest, and dark blue slacks, looked good on Eric when he didn't have piercings and tattoos. "Mom!"

"Everett!" the blonde lady that must have been Eric's mother let loose a light, tinkling laugh, as the boy in blue ran into her, squeezing her, tightly. Lauryn couldn't help but smile at the contagious grin on Eric's youthful features, but she frowned when the scene changed, only slightly.

Eric and his parents were stood on top of a roof, and at the moment, the younger leader seemed unaware of the difference in scenery. The blue-eyed teenager laughed, as his mom's blonde hair flew into his face, and he spit out the strands, with a light giggle. The blonde boy turned towards his father, and his face instantly turned to an expression of confusion.

Uriah watched in curiosity, and concern, as his instructor's thirteen-year-old self, peeked over the edge of the roof, and saw just how far down the ground was. It must have been a hundred stories or more. "What's... going on?" the young blonde inquired, before jumping at the loud thundering of gunshots.

Simulation Eric turned around quickly, and Cordelia noticed the smiling faces of his parents disappeared, simultaneously, and their expressions twisted in pain. There was a small, round hole on each of their foreheads, and blood poured from the wounds.

"No!" the younger Eric screamed, as he watched the scene before him, in horror.

"Oh my god..." Uriah stated, his face going pale, as he watched the young leader's family begin to melt; their bones, flesh, and clothing pooling together on the ground in a thick puddle. Simulation Eric took a step back, with widened eyes, before he tripped over the edge, and his body was falling through the air.

"He's in! He's in!" Four announced, pumping a fist in the air, and breathing a sigh of relief. "He's in his regular sim... we just have to wait for him to finish, now."

"Are you sure?" Lia asked, quietly, worried that it hadn't worked, that Eric would still be stuck inside his head, or worse.

"I'm definitely sure," Tobias assured the group, pointing to the young leader's on-screen vitals. "See that part of his brain, right there?"

Lauryn, Cordelia and Uriah leaned in to look, nodding when they saw the red and yellow glowing areas.

"That's the lateral amygdala, it's the main part of the brain that processes fear, and see this right here?" Four used his pinky to point at another location on the scan on the side of the monitor. "These blue veins were lit up red when he first went under; they're neutral now. Those were memories. He's in the regular sim, and he's almost done."

"Hey..." Uriah said, slowly, as he squinted his eyes at the image of Eric's brain on the monitor. "What's that? Is that..."

"What, this?" Four inquired, seeking confirmation, with a raised eyebrow. "That's what is killing him. It's called a Chr-."

"Chronic Subdural Hematoma... caused by Traumatic Brain Injury," the darker-skinned boy finished, all eyes falling on him, as simulation Eric tried to outrun the pack of angry dogs on the main screen of the monitor.

"How...?" Lauryn started, an incredulous expression on her face, as the group stared at the Dauntless-born.

"I'm part Erudite, remember?" Uriah grinned, cheekily, as he folded his arms over his chest, before his face fell, and scrunched his features. "But, that's not how I know what this is... My dad was a transfer from Erudite, did ya' know that?" he laughed a bit, remembering how crazy him and his brother's dad had been. "Yeah... my mom had CSH... my dad and I spent countless nights researching, and reading books on neurology... we made some progress, but... we couldn't save her in time."

"Uri, I'm so sorry!" Lia supplied, hugging the other boy, tightly, with tears still in her eyes. She wasn't used to seeing a crestfallen Uriah; it was something foreign, and alien, on the usually joyous initiate's face.

The darker-skinned boy smiled, softly, as he pushed the amber-eyed girl away from him. "I actually continued the research, ya' know? I've got like ten, two-inch binders full of notes, and formulas, and calculations... I was working on a device that was non-invasive, but I couldn't get the formulas right."

"A device?" Four said, his eyes watching as simulation Eric pushed his way through a hole in the ground, gasping for oxygen. "What do you mean?"

"Okay, so I've always been fascinated with radiation, right? And, like, who doesn't think gamma rays are fucking cool?" the dark-skinned boy asserted, shifting his weight, and leaning against the table that held the computer and monitor. "It's a small, round machine, that attaches itself with four pins with small grapple fixings on the end. Anyway, the idea was for a laser to block the nerves, and then dissolve the damaged veins to clear the area and completely heal the hematoma, but... I tried it on several rats, and... well, it didn't turn out so good."

"Meaning...?" the red-headed woman asked, raising an eyebrow when she saw Eric's ex making fun of him on the screen, and everyone laughing at him.

"The laser was supposed to only target the affected area, and pass through the other tissues and bone, but I couldn't get the formula right. It ended up killing the rights, because the laser cut through every bit of organic matter. It left half of their head with a crater, just like they were shot, point blank, with a shotgun," the darker-skinned boy admitted, with a frown. "Dude, what the hell is he doing?"

The group turned their attention back to the monitor, just in time to see Eric slit his wrists open, and smiling, before he fell to the floor, and Lauryn's frantic voice could be heard calling for help.

"Uriah, I might need help with him, he's gonna wake up," Four announced, as he moved to hold Eric's left shoulder down, and the Dauntless-born boy moved to the young leader's right side.

The dark-haired girl and Lauryn, held their breath as the screen went dark, waiting for the blonde to wake up, with their fingers crossed.

Eric's eyes flew open, and he blinked rapidly, as he took in his surroundings, as he struggled to bring his heart rate back to normal. He didn't remember putting himself through the fear sim... _"Oh... yeah."_

"Hey, it's alright bro," Four said, relief flooding his features, when he was sure that his friend was all there, with them. "We didn't know what else to do... it was Uri's idea."

The blonde didn't know what to say; he was embarrassed, and he was frightened that he had lost control, again, after six years. His mind got the better of him, this time; it would not happen again.

"Eric, I'm so sorry... I'm so, _so_ sorry," Cordelia said, her voice strained, remembering how the young leader had thrown her out of his apartment, and told her to leave. She did not want to lose Eric over her stupid decisions. "Please, forgive me? Please? Don't leave me..."

"Wh- why w- w- would I, I l- leave y- y- you, L- lia?" the blonde shrugged the other men off of him, and he sat up, scooting to the edge of the seat, as he looked up at the dark-haired girl with a confused expression.

"B- because... I invaded your privacy, _majorly_ ," Cordelia informed him, honestly, averting her gaze to the floor, as she remembered his furious, and pained expression when he found out. "It was way out of line... beyond out of line."

"L- look, c- can we, can we j- just f- f- forget a- about all of, all of, all of th- this? M- maybe we c- can t- t- talk l- later, b- but... c- can w- we j- just f- f- forget a- about th- this f- for n- n- now?" the young leader pleaded, chewing on his bottom lip, and wanting nothing more than to not be in that small room, with all eyes on him.

"Forget about what?" the red-head asked, forcing a small smile on her face, and tilting her head to the side.

"He wants us to forget ab-," the darker-skinned Dauntless-born began, before being shoved by the brown-haired instructor. "Hey!"

"Fucktard..." Tobias breathed, shaking his head, and rolling his eyes at the dark-skinned initiate. "Seriously, dude?"

Eric felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, and then he began to laugh; a full, belly laugh. A genuine laugh. "I- I'm, s- s- sorry!" he managed to get out, between his high-pitched cackling. "Th- that, that w- w- was p- pretty, pretty f- fucking f- f- funny!"

"Hey! Let's go smoke, and jam!" Uriah suggested, glad to have been a part of the source of the young leader's humor. "Just like normal, yeah? Besides, all the guys are probably waiting for us, over at your place."

"Y- y- yeah..." the blonde said, moving to stand up, and heading towards the door. "I- I, I've a- actually g- g- got s- some- something I- I, I w- want u- us to, want us t- to d- d- do."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Eric, you're a fuckin' trip!" Lauryn squealed, as she watched the young leader twirl Uriah around before throwing the Dauntless-born boy on the couch, for the fifth time, in a row. "I want a turn!"

The blonde gave the red-headed woman a wide, cheesy grin, before grabbing her, and proceeded to spin her around, as well, while everyone else held onto to their sides from laughing too hard.

"Hey, what about me?" Lia pouted, with slumped shoulders, once the green-eyed woman rolled off the worn piece of furniture. "I want to play."

"Hmmmmm," the blue-eyed man hummed, as he stroked his chin, thoughtfully, before winking at the dark-haired girl. "W- wanna, wanna p- play, h- huh?" Eric's eyes lit up when Cordelia's beautiful, amber eyes twinkled, and she nodded her head. "O- okay."

The Candor transfer gasped when she was picked up, and thrown to the couch; she had expected to be twirled, first. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead giggled, when Eric hopped on top of her, peppering her face with kisses. "Eric! It tickles! It tickles! It- oooooh," the dark-haired girl stretched her head back, as the blonde attacked her neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.

"H- having f- fun?" the blue-eyed instructor mumbled against Lia's ear, and he smiled when he felt the smaller girl shudder beneath him. Eric ground his growing desire against the amber-eyed girl's core, a moan escaping his lips, needing more friction.

"Ten points says they forget we're here, and start fucking on the couch!" Sassy called out, to which Uriah, Marc, and Lauryn responded with a 'You're on!'. The blue-haired girl went to pull out her tablet to tally their bets, but was stopped by the brown-haired instructor.

"Guys?!" he called out to the clearly horny couple. "Fucking wait until we're gone!"

"S- s- sorry!" Eric giggled, the high-pitched sound causing the others to join in. "L- let's go, let's go d- d- do th- that s- song I- I, I w- wanted to d- do!"

"I can't wait to see this!" Lauryn exclaimed, jumping up and down, and clapping her hands, excitedly. "You're my favorite music!"

"Which song?" Tobias inquired, as they made their way into the young leader's music room, the other's taking their positions, and Sassy moved behind the soundboard.

"All of them!" the red-head stated, as if it was obvious. "What about you? You have a favorite?"

Marc and Eric set out tuning their guitars, while Violet stood patiently waiting with the bass guitar, having already tested it, and Uriah spun the drumsticks around in the air, catching them when they fell.

"I love all of them... I actually have a secret stash. But, my favorite song has got to be 'Pages',"** Four admitted, as him, Lauryn and Cordelia, settled on the floor, in front of the small band, this time.

"Ready?" the blue-haired girl asked, as Eric moved to stand in front of the mic. The blonde nodded, in confirmation, and Sassy started the recording.

As the five tics started the countdown, Tobias leaned over to whisper in Lauryn's ear. "You have got to see this! Just watch, he freaking loses it!"

"Loses what?" the red-head inquired, cocking her head to the side, her brow furrowed in confusion. Four didn't have time to answer, as the countdown was finished, and Uriah began a heavy, and fast drum roll, the others joining in, in unison.

Lauryn watched in amazement, as the blonde instructor's fingers flew up and down the fretboard, bending the strings, and pulling off, and picking over the pick ups so fast that his hand appeared blurry. She watched as he closed his eyes, his face already portraying several different emotions, in succession.

 _ **"I feel fine, and I can smile**_

 _ **But I feel the anger coming**_

 _ **It's underneath, I don't know why**_

 _ **It's always overflowing**_

 _ **It's a constant fight deep inside**_

 _ **And I wanna forget it**_

 _ **"I confess, I'm always afraid**_

 _ **Always ashamed**_

 _ **Of what's inside me**_

 _ **I confess, I'm always afraid**_

 _ **Always ashamed**_

 _ **Of what's inside my head!"**_

"Damn!" Lauryn exclaimed, as she watched her blue-eyed friend move all over the place, tossing his white, electric guitar around like it weighed nothing, not missing a note. She knew what Tobias was talking about now; Eric let go of everything that _wasn't_ him, when he played. She could hear it in all of his music, she just never guessed it would be like this; she could do this all day long.

It didn't escape her, the content of the lyrics; they were sad, and they were honest. She wondered if the others felt it too, or if it was just her being high...

 _ **"And I can breathe, and I still feel**_

 _ **But not the way I want to**_

 _ **I'm on the edge, I don't know how**_

 _ **I can escape this nightmare!"**_

Sassy was on her toes, sliding the pushers for the necessary effects on time, every time, not missing a beat. She switched between alternating a ringing effect, and harmonics, multiplying Eric's voice at different tones; it sounded like there was more than one person singing, but there wasn't.

 ** _"I confess, I'm always afraid_**

 ** _Always ashamed_**

 ** _Of what's inside me_**

 ** _I confess, I'm always afraid_**

 ** _Always ashamed_**

 ** _Of what's inside my head_**

 ** _What's inside my head!"_**

Tobias never tired from watching his friend, the stuttering, mystery musician, let go like this; it was really something. Besides the fact that Eric was probably the single, most-talented musician and singer in all of Dauntless. He knew that he would still be listening to Eric's music, long after he died; too young, too soon.

He wasn't going to take these opportunites for granted; there was an expiration date stamped on the blonde's forehead, and he was going to try and commit every second he spent with the young leader, to memory. Especially, moments like this; moments when Eric drowned everything else out, and was just simply Eric.

 _ **"Oh, I'm wasting away**_

 _ **It's part of my instinct**_

 _ **I'll run away from everything I hate**_

 _ **Take this away, help me escape**_

 _ **Take this away, I confess!"**_

The red-head was taken by surprise when Eric suddenly started screaming, mid-lyric, and the raw sound cut through her being, causing chills to wash across her skin, sprouting goose bumps.

 _ **"Innocence! Innocence! Innocence!"*****_

* * *

 _ **** Pages - 3 Doors Down**_

 _ ***** Confession (What's Inside My Head) - Red**_


	21. IMPORTANT AN - PLEASE READ

**Author's Note:** hi guys, it's me. Sorry, i know it's been like almost a month since I've posted, but I've had some _really_ bad shit happen, and things have been _really_ hard, physically and emotionally. I just wanted to let you guys know that I have **EVERY INTENTION OF CONTINUING THIS STORY**. I don't know when I'll post the next chapter, but hopefully things will be better soon. I've got the whole story plotted out, and the chapters are all outlined, i just have to write them, and a few of them are in rough drafts already. I just CAN'T write right now. i'm really sorry, and i hope you all aren't too mad at me. I promise as soon as i can bring myself to start writing again, I'll post like 3 chapters in one day for yall. So, yeah... I just wanted to let ya'll know that I' am going to continue this, hopefully soon, and let ya'll know that i'm really sorry. So, um, yeah sorry. And I would like to thank everybody that's reviewed favorited and followed my story, it really means a lot to me, and sometimes i go back and read ya'lls reviews and it bring s a rare smile to my face:') So thank you guys so much, and I'm REALLy sorry, and hope i can post soon, love all ya'll! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


	22. Chapter Nineteen - The Damned: Part 1

**Author's Note:**

...I'M BACK! :) Hey guys! How have you all been?! I've missed ya'll! So, I won't bore you with details, I've just been going through a lot for a while, but here I am, with a new chapter! This chapter was originally almost 20,000 words, and so I had to split it up, and I know this chapter is a bit shorter than usual but it didn't feel right to cut off anywhere else. Anyway, hope you are all having happy holidays! And now... SHOUTOUTS!

First, I've got a special shoutout to **My Writing Is This** , go check out **To Be Brave** , it's freaking amazing! This girl is something else! I tell you what... I mean, if you don't go and read it, you're just missing out... jus' sayin'... GO READ IT! :) xoxo

 **Guest: (Jen)**

Thank you so much! I'm glad that you can picture it perfectly in your head:) It makes me feel awesome that I was able to place you inside the story:) much love! xoxo

 **Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins:**

yes, hm, dem feels:( I'm glad you love Eric, I do too! And yes, of course you can get the rough version of chapter 20! I will work on completing it and proofreading it, and then I'll post it up for you guys, though, I will probably post it as a one-shot, simply because of the "T" rating that I wanted to keep this story under:) Loves! xoxo

 **Simana:**

Thanks for the review! So, so much! I'm glad you thought it was exciting and dramatic:) And yeah, gotta love the many faces of Uriah Pedrad:) xoxo

 **Annie0801:**

I'm glad you love the music I chose! :) I wanted it to all feel connected, ya' know? :) xoxo Now ya'll go read, **His Addiction** , I just read it recently, and it gave me the warm fuzzies! :)

 **sharon mayes 353:**

:') I'm ecstatic that I was able to move so much emotion within you! :') I squealed when you referred to my writing as "powerful" ! :) xoxo

 **EvieLyn:**

Thanks so much! Hope this is worth the wait! :) xoxo Go read, **Take Care** , I mean it! :)

 **Craseelix1190:**

Have I told you lately, that I love you? Damn, what's with me using all the song lyrics? lol;) Awe, I made you blush! :0 COOL! :) I am so sorry I traumatized you with some of Eric's past! :( I kinda traumatized myself, too:/ Yes, a giggle! Weed has a tendency to do that to ya'... lol:) Like, your review is making ME blush, now! :) Thanks girl, love you! :) xoxo Now ya'll go read **Fire and Ashe** , you will be astounded, and you will beg Seeli for an update! :) On your hands and knees... do it now...

 **Rizzord:**

I gave you goosebumps? AWESOME! :) Can't say much about the other, though ;) *wink wink* ILY! :) xoxo Ya'll go read **The Last Scene** , it's a completed work, now, but it's amazing! And it's SO original! Eric is... well, he's very Eric, lol :)

 **interdictum in aeternum:**

Awe... c'mon, now... really? There's no way you like this THAT much, is there? If you do, I wouldn't say that it's sad, lol, I would say you are the nicest most complimenting person EVER! :) xoxo

 **MyHappyLove:**

Awe, I'm praying too! I swear I am! :) xoxo

 **kadejenkins141 kj:**

Thank you so much! I left you speechless! That's friggin' awesome! :) xoxo

 **NL92:**

Thanks so much for the review! :) xoxo

 **Feigningintrest:**

Damn, sorry about Eric's past giving you issues! :( I know, am I evil to him, or am I evil to him? lol :) I know, I know... wink wink ;) Sorry that there couldn't be some silly fun in this one, I would actually consider this more of a filler, but it's just because of the way I had to cut it up into more than one chappie;) much love! :) xoxo Now go read, **Bad Habit** , and, **Desensitization**. I'm serious... Like, read this first, then go read THAT. Okay? Okay...

 **murmelinchen:**

blushes... damn girl, damn:) You trying to make my heart bleed? Lol, I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! I WILL SEND YOU AN EMAIL SOON! You are too kind! Seriously, Murmy, the compliments! :) LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU! :) xoxo Alright, this one's pretty much a list, but go read ALL OF THESE! **I cannot lose what is not mine** **,** **She will be his downfall** **,** **Dauntless'oween** **,** **Last Resort**. Go. :)

 **Miniluce:**

I'm so glad you like it! And your French to English review is really good, lol :) It's great to have you! :) much love xoxo

 **Electric Blue Reader:**

Sorry if I scared you! The stress has been relieved just enough that writing is once again giving me the release that I need, without torturing and killing off my characters... um... more than usual, I mean, lol :) xoxo

 **kazzaroo:**

God, the support is amazing! Thank you so much:) Like, you're review here rendered me speechless! What can I say to your beautiful words? There are none! :) swoons xoxo

 **Guest: (one french follower.)**

Thank you! :) xoxo

 **Missnewbooty:**

Great name, by the way, lol :) I don't really have room to comment on ALL of your reviews here, so I'll just say a simple THANK YOU SO FUCKIN' MUCH! :) There's ample evidence to suggest the possibility that you could be my biggest fan, lol :) You even like my "shit work". lol. :) xoxo

 **1CaityRose0:**

I'm so glad you picked up on the songs! :) I'm sorry I've made you emotional! :( I swear, it won't be like this forever, just got to get over this rough bump, here:) xoxo GO read **Till the last petal falls** , it's intriguing, and you just want more, and more :)

 **Guest: (unnamed)**

Can't make any promises! I don't do spoilers! :) xoxo

 **cheezemac:**

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I appreciate the good thoughts! :) xoxo

 **Faith O:**

Well, I can't answer your question, ya' know, spoilers and shit ;) Thank you so much though! I'm glad you think it seems real! :) And, yes, things are going a bit better for me! :) xoxo

 **lt briar nathan l 86:**

Um... hi... now I'm embarrassed... lol, did ya' leave enough "X's" and "O's". And, c'mon, it's not THAT great... lol. STOP READING MY STORIES! I MEAN IT! It's embarrassing:/... I mean, you can if you want, but... okay, I'll shut up now... and c'mon, you? scared of Eric? Yeah, like that's believable you giant hunk of muscle, you! lol ;)xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

SO, once again, thank all you guys for continuing to support me and my story! I love you all! SO SO MUCH! I hope I haven't left anyone out, there's so many of you, now! If I forgot you, send me a PM, and I'll correct it! :) Welcome to my new readers, and followers! Don't forget to fave/follow/review, because I adore reviews! I live for them! I swear, I do! :) xoxo

...Um, and PS. I apologize to everyone who received a drunk PM or review from me recently. I quit drinking, I swear I did! :) xoxo

* * *

 **Later that night...**

Eric watched Cordelia's chest rise and fall as she slept soundly, her breaths even, and deep. He took the opportunity to memorize the contours of her face, the sharp definition of her collarbone, the plunge of her throat that led to the bit of cleavage that peeped out from the soft, grey nightie that she wore.

The young leader sighed, softly, rolling over onto his side, and leaned up on his elbow as he ghosted his fingertips over her dark eyebrows, her high cheekbones, and her lush, pink lips. The action must have tickled the dark-haired girl, he thought, because the faintest of smiles pulled at the corners of her mouth for the briefest of moments before it disappeared again.

She was absolutely beautiful. The blonde didn't understand why she couldn't have come into his life sooner... He didn't understand why _he_ had to leave so soon. He had theories, of course. "Karma's a bitch" came to mind, but that didn't help too much.

The blue-eyed man had done some terrible things, before he finally got his act together. He was truly remorseful, but his regret wouldn't bring that boy back. He would die living with Aiden's blood on his hands, metaphorically of course. No, he hadn't physically laid a finger on the kid, but... that didn't make him any less guilty.

Of course, that was just one of many wrong-doings that could have landed him in this boat of death and despair.

He fit the role of "tortured artist" quite perfectly, but it was not something he was proud of.

He couldn't be more ashamed of himself, for his past transgressions. He never meant to hurt anyone, he simply wanted to prove himself... to himself, and everyone else. He had thought that taking the role of the most brutal, ruthless initiate would be the best way to do so; to shove his skeletons in the closet, and barricade the door with anything he could find.

As he stared at Lia's face, her long, dark eyelashes falling softly against the tops of her cheeks, he wished he could be more like her. More specifically, that he could have been more like her, much, much sooner. If he had been honest, not only with other people, but also himself, maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way.

Maybe he wouldn't be dying, right now.

Instead, he let his demons lie in wait in the dark corners of his loneliness and depression, masking his pain with nothing more than simple meanness.

Eric sighed again, remembering what he had learned while at the psychiatric hospital in Erudite. The only way to defeat your demons, and your past, is to get it out in the open.

But he had been scared.

He was a coward.

' _Am I still so cowardly_?' he thought, sourly, face twisting in anger at himself.

He had joined a faction that lived and breathed bravery, and fearlessness, and here he was, a leader of Dauntless, and he was so afraid of what other people thought of him, and his reputation, that he was willing to wallow in his misery. Alone.

Well, he had Lia now, but... he hadn't _really_ talked with her. Yes, he loved her. Yes, she loved him, he was sure. It couldn't be more real. But the fact remained, that they hadn't done much talking. They honestly didn't know anything about each other.

As if she could hear his thoughts, the Candor transfer stirred herself awake, stretching, and groaning softly. "Hey, you okay?"

Eric sat up, the blanket falling to pool around his waist, his many scars once again on display in the soft light of the lamp on his naked torso. He rubbed his face with his hands, before throwing his legs over the side of the bed and placing his head in his hands.

Cordelia frowned, she too sitting up in bed, and moving to sit beside her boyfriend. She only briefly took a moment to appreciate the muscles that rippled in his back and shoulders with each breath that he took.

"Eric?"

The blonde man turned to look at Lia. "I- I... I d- don't, don't kn- kn- know y- you... Y- you d- don't kn- kn- know m- me... Y- y- you d- don't kn- know m- me..."

"What are you talking about?" The dark-haired girl wrapped a thin arm around his waist, trailing her fingers along his side, as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"...I- I, I d- don't kn- know..."

Cordelia felt her chest tighten slightly at the tone of the young leader's voice, and she slid off the bed to kneel between his legs, looking up at him with her lovely, amber eyes, the gold flecks sparkling in the soft, yellow glow of the lamp. "Talk to me, about anything."

Eric took a shaky breath, bouncing his knee uncontrollably in his nervousness. "I- I, j- j- just... I- I'm af- f- fraid y- you m- might, might l- l- leave m- me, i- if y- y- you r- really, really kn- know m- m- me."

Cordelia sighed in exasperation. Clearly, he needed her to spell it out for him. "Eric, I'm not leaving you. Nothing that you've done, nothing that's happened to you, is gonna scare me away. I promise. ...I love you..."

The blonde felt the corner of his mouth twitch up, involuntarily. It was the first time that this confession had been spoken, in as many words. Her admittance did relieve much of the tension that he was feeling, though, and he visibly relaxed, as he lifted his head a bit to look her in the eye.

"I- I l- l- love y- you, you t- too, L- Lia."

The dark-haired girl grinned, flashing a dazzling smile at the blue-eyed man before her. "Let's get to know each other, huh?"

Eric smiled, faintly, and nodded his head, accepting the hand that Lia held out to him when she stood.

* * *

Cordelia sat on the couch beside Eric, waiting patiently for him to begin their conversation, because she was unsure of what exactly he wanted to get off his chest. She could tell that he was more concerned about what she didn't know about him, though, than he was about what he didn't know about her.

After waiting for about ten minutes of absolute silence, Lia cleared her throat, softly. "How about we start with something easy? Like, we can each ask a question, and then we both answer it? How about you tell me what your favorite color is?"

Eric nodded, seeming to relax a bit more as he leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. "B- b- blue... o- or it, it u- u- used t- to b- be..."

"...And now?"

"A- a- amber."

The dark-haired girl blushed, furiously, ducking her head a bit, and elbowing the young leader playfully. "Mine's orange."

"L- l- like A- Amity, Amity o- o- orange?"

"Eh, more like sunset orange," the Candor transfer replied, tilting her head to the side a bit. "Okay, now you ask a question, and we'll both answer it."

"O- ok- kay..." The blue-eyed man had to think for a moment, but it didn't take him long to come up with something. "Wh- what's y- your m- m- most em- b- b- barass- s- sing m- m- moment th- th- that y- you c- can th- think, think o- of?"

Cordelia shrugged her shoulders into herself, throwing her head back, as she giggled. "Oh my god! That's easy. I was fifteen, and the Ninth years were touring the courthouse, right? Well, I snuck off with Ronnie Kader and Emily Barton, and we got into some Truth Serum... We spent the rest of the field trip asking each other stupid questions, and basically spilled all our guts in front of everybody! Like, one question that I was asked, was do I masturbate!"

Eric bit back the smirk that threatened to take over his masculine features, and smoothly asked, "A- and wh- what, what w- w- was y- your an- an- ans- swer?"

The dark-haired girl blushed, lightly, rolling her eyes. "I said yes, of course..."

"H- h- how, how o- often?"

The young leader couldn't help but laugh when Lia punched him in the arm. "Careful, or I'll ask you that question, too."

"C- c- caref- ful, o- or I- I- I, I m- might an- an- answer y- you."

Cordelia punched him again, shaking her head at Eric's suggestiveness. "Okay, what was your most embarrassing moment?"

It was Eric's turn to blush. "I- I-, I p- pissed m- myself, myself d- during m- m- my f- f- first f- fear s- s- sim..."

"Really?" Lia deadpanned, disappointed. "That's it? _That's_ your most embarrassing moment? Even Marc and Uriah did that!"

The young leader simply shrugged.

"Okay, um... Let's see..."

The night carried on in much the same way, the two answering each other's questions, back and forth. Eventually, the questions became more difficult, and much more personal. They had eventually moved outside, growing bored of sitting on the couch. It was nearing sunrise, hints of gold and red tinging the horizon as they looked out over the city from the balcony.

"Wh- wh- what's th- the w- w- worst, worst th- th- thing y- you've ev- ever, ever d- d- done?"

"Oh, uh..." Lia had to think about that one. She wasn't sure that she had really ever done anything too bad. "I guess... I would have to say keeping Todd's death from Violet... That was being a pretty shitty friend of me. What about you?"

The young leader sighed, deeply, turning to face the quickly rising sun, as he clasped his hands, and leaned on the railing with his forearms. "I- I, I g- guess I- I c- can't, can't an- an- answer th- that o- one i- in o- o- one g- go... Th- th- this, this i- is th- the p- p- part th- that I- I, I w- wanted t- to t- t- talk t- to y- you a- a- ab- bout..."

"Take your time, it's okay," Cordelia said, trailing her fingers over the blonde's shoulder blades, earning a soft sigh from the young leader. "Just... start wherever."

Eric took a deep breath, before launching into his story...

* * *

 _ **(Three years ago)**_

 _ **18 July 2271 - Thursday - 1342 hours...**_

The Erudite transfer had had a rough day. First, he had been so nervous about the first day of stage two of training, that he hadn't been able to eat breakfast. Then, he _almost_ tripped over his own feet when his name was called to enter the fear simulation room... as if that wasn't embarrassing.

And to top it off, he had literally pissed himself before the simulation was even over. He had to sneak through the halls, after being released through the back exit of the room, and then shower, and put on clean, dry clothes.

Lunch was almost over, by the time he got to the dining hall, and for some reason, instead of just sitting down and eating his food, Eric felt the need to make someone else feel just as shitty as he did. As he was walking towards the table where he usually sat with his followers, he passed what he considered to be the "outcasts'" table.

He sneered as he made eye contact with Tobias, now renamed "Four", before shifting his gaze to the skinny boy sitting beside the former Abnegation. "Aiden..." he said, throwing a mocking grin at the scrawny, stringy-haired boy, who glanced around at the other occupants of the table before meeting Eric's gaze, evenly.

"Yes?" he said, timidly.

"I heard you have 27 fears?"

Aiden looked down to his plate, his cheeks burning bright red, as Eric had announced the fact quite loudly. "Y- yeah..."

The blonde boy crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. "You're never gonna make it."

Aiden opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say in reply.

"You should have transferred to Abnegation. You're more stiff than the Stiff!" Eric said, jerking his thumb towards "Four".

"Eric," Four said his name with a tone of warning, to which the former Erudite only scoffed.

"You don't belong here," Eric continued, with an indifferent tone. "You're nothing but a pussy, and pussies aren't Dauntless. Go pick daises with Amity- Oh. Wait. That's right. You already chose, didn't you? Guess that means you'll be Factionless." The blonde-haired teen shrugged his shoulders, seemingly uncaring of the harshness of his words. "Guess you should pick up trash, instead. Here, why not practice for the real thing?"

With that, Eric leaned over the table, shoving several trays of food onto the floor. "Go on, pick it up!"

"I- I- I..."

"Here, you should look the part too," the Erudite transfer asserted, grabbing a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of mustard off the table next to them, and squirted the contents of both condiment containers on top of the poor boy's head.

"There... we... go," Eric said, grinning madly, as the last bits of yellow and red squished out, painting the former Candor boy with a puke-colored orange as the condiments mixed together.

The majority of the cafeteria burst into a fit of laughter, though most of them weren't meaning any harm.

"Maybe you should go wash off in a river. Ya' know, just like the Factionless?"

Eric turned and walked towards his table of "friends", not noticing the look of absolute mortification on Aiden's face, before his eyes fell to his mustard and ketchup stained shirt.

 _ **2312 hours...**_

"Haha, I know, right?!" Eric laughed, loudly, stomping through the halls with his lackeys. They were approaching the Chasm when Eric suddenly picked up the sound of what seemed to be wailing mixing in with the roar of the river. "What the fuck is that sound?"

Eric led the way to the opening of the Chasm, Trevor, Clipper, Blaze, and Creed following behind him, closely. "Whoa..." The Erudite transfer skidded to a halt just before he reached the rail.

Aiden was standing on the rail.

He was leaning over the edge to look down into the water, with tears streaming down his face.

"Aiden...?"

"Need to practice... don't I?" the stringy-haired boy said, darkly.

"No. No, that's not-. Stop!"

Eric watched in horror as the skinny boy stepped off the edge, his form disappearing into the violent waters without another sound.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, in shock. He hadn't known that his words would affect the other boy in such a way, he had simply been trying to assure himself that he wasn't the only one having a shit day.

"Awe, c'mon!" Trevor groaned. "You said it, yourself. He was never gonna make it! Not with as many fears as that kid had!"

Eric couldn't say anything in reply. Trevor was right.

This was his fault.

* * *

 **Present Day - 24 July 2274 - Friday**

Cordelia didn't say anything, at first. She wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't going to leave Eric, she just had a hard time believing that he could have ever been that cruel... that heartless. It was obvious that he had had a change of heart sometime since then, and he was clearly upset about that Aiden boy.

She settled for something reassuring. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Eric looked at her, sadness mixed with confusion on his features. "W- w- why?"

"I love you," the dark-haired girl said, enjoying the way it sounded. It felt right rolling off her tongue, when she said it to the young leader.

"Y- y- you m- might, might ch- ch- change y- your m- m- mind, wh- wh- when y- you l- l- learn e- everyth- th- thing a- about, about m- me..."

"No, I won't. Besides, that was the worst, right?" Lia asked, attempting to lighten things up a bit. When the blonde didn't answer right away, and instead seemed to be contemplating something, she spoke up again. "...Right, Eric?"

"...I- In a, a, a w- way... I- it w- was th- th- the w- worst, worst ch- ch- choice _I- I_ m- m- made, a- anyw- w- way..."

"Oh..." Cordelia shifted her eyes down briefly, trying to decipher his tone. "What exactly does that mean?"

Eric just looked down, and shook his head. The dark-haired girl decided to drop it, for now. The young leader was making progress, anyway, and she didn't want to pressure him into telling her too much at once. She didn't want him to get so stressed out that he fell into another episode because of her curiosity.

"Want breakfast?"

* * *

"Whoa, dude. You look like shit."

Eric scowled, half-heartedly, at Marc, as he sat on the bench beside the ginger-haired Amity transfer. "G- g- gee, th- thanks," he responded, his voice thick with sarcasm, as he rolled his eyes, wincing from the pain that erupted in his temples from the action.

"You okay, bro?" Four asked, sliding onto the bench across from the young leader, Lauryn sliding in beside the brown-haired man. Four gave the blonde a look that said, "Mm-hmm...", when Eric nodded in reply, wiping away the perspiration that had gathered above his brow with the back of his hand.

"Y- y- yeah."

"Good," Four stated, giving him a pointed look. "Because Guard Rotation is today, and I heard that Jeanine Matthews is coming-."

"Wh- wh- what?!" the young leader hissed, ducking his head, and glancing around the room, frantically, searching for any sign of blue. "Wh- why?"

Four gave him a weird look, before exchanging glances with Lauryn, and the rest of their table. "I... I don't know. Why does it matter?"

Cordelia suddenly remembered how the blonde had told her that he had stayed with Jeanine Matthews for a while. That he had lived with her. She wasn't sure if this was going to be a good thing, or a bad thing, because Eric hadn't elaborated on that fact. She didn't know what to expect, but the blue-eyed man was clearly nervous, one way, or the other.


	23. Chapter 23

If you want to continue writing TSOS please comment and I will randomly draw a name at the end of there around. The winner of the auction will be PMd the plot outline and all the notes and everything.


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